Welcome to Personality & Spirituality. It’s all about understanding who and what we really are — beyond the personality, to the depths of our innermost being or soul. I’m a psychologist and this is my passion.

The purpose of this website is to be a hub of information, inspiration and occasionally entertainment about who and what we really are — beyond (but including) the personality.

Enjoy! :-)

- barry

A d v e r t i s e m e n t

2014: An inner journey

As we start the new year, I feel the urge to review and assimilate my own inner journey over the previous twelve months. 


The choice to be well

In various ways 2014 was a year of surprises, with extreme highs and lows — a whirlwind of new and often challenging experiences.

At the start of the year I had no particular expectations for my inner journey. I did, however, make a New Year’s resolution: to see if I could find a way, once and for all, to overcome CFS/ME (chronic fatigue syndrome or myalgic encephalomyelitis) — the condition that had rendered me barely able to function since 2008. (It’s an absence of energy in the body, leaving you unable to do, say, or think much for periods throughout the day, plus a lot of pain.)

After reading Anita Moorjani’s book about her near-death experience, I understood that both illness and wellness are choices that I hold in my own hands. I can choose wellness by dropping the fear of illness. But I also figured that I needed some ‘props’ to believe my choice to be well — a sort of self-induced placebo effect.

So I began the year catching up on the relevant research, articles and personal accounts about recovering from CFS/ME.

The first thing I found is that CFS/ME is still very much a “mystery illness” with no medically recognised cause and no known cure. For this reason, many doctors are still inclined to dismiss it as “all in the head”, while others simply confuse it with depression.

(For the record, CFS/ME is nothing like depression. With depression you have no motivation, no sense of meaning or purpose, no reason to get out of bed. With CFS/ME, in contrast, you have great motivation to do things, but your body simply refuses to cooperate.)

There are numerous hypothetical causes for CFS/ME, but the one that made most sense to me was that the body’s natural ability to make energy has somehow been switched off. Instead of burning aerobic energy from oxygen and glucose, the body’s cells burn anaerobic energy, which is normally a sort of “last resort” option. This creates lactic acid, the stuff that hurts when you do too much, hence the near-constant pain.

So, I set off trying out a load of different nutritional supplements (vitamins, minerals, amino acids, proteins, etc…).


Some of the supplements gave me great improvements, but at the same time I also started having disturbed and disturbing sleep patterns.

I began to experience disturbing electrical zaps throughout my nervous system whenever I relaxed, a bit like being taser-ed in the brain. I also began to experience quite terrifying episodes of waking paralysis in the middle of the day. (These are episodes in which you are fully conscious but your body is completely paralysed because it thinks it’s time to dream.)

By the end of May, I was fearing for my life, or at least my sanity. But something told me to “trust” — just go with whatever was happening, and I would be safe.

And then, throughout the summer months, I found myself being swept up in a gathering storm of synchronicities, insights, and inspirations. I began to feel optimistic, powerful, inspired, more and more aligned with the Universe. It seemed that something was being orchestrated on my behalf, and I just had to allow it to unfold.

One of the synchronicities was coming into contact with Arvin, a guy who not only follows the Michael teachings but also happens to have lucid dreams with perfect dream recall — a natural gift. When we met online I felt an immediate connection with him and intuitively sensed that we had some sort of pre-life soul agreement to facilitate one another’s growth at this time. I had no conscious idea what this might mean for either of us, but it was just two days later (on the 8th of September) that I had my own lucid dream in which I was initiated into a Kundalini awakening.

(See here for my account of that.)

Days and Nights of Perfect Bliss

The awakening of Kundalini in me was like the opening of a floodgate, allowing a torrent of liquid light to flow upwards through my body, brain and consciousness. Every cell of my body was in a permanent state of ecstasy, sometimes orgasmic. The bliss was so intense and exquisite that I spent several whole nights lying wide awake, just basking and writhing in the ecstasy of divine love.

During the next two months, I experienced my Self as the eye of the storm — still and peaceful in myself, but very aware of objects, events, thoughts and feelings circulating around me.  I learned the importance of maintaining a state of completely relaxed surrender. It became very clear that the more I relaxed and let go, the more I was carried along by a gentle stream in which life unfolded effortlessly.

Conversely, whenever I focused on anything with an attitude of concern and effort, I could feel myself contracting and hardening. Trying to do anything in a hurry or in a state of tension was like kryptonite to kundalini. I sensed that if I allowed myself to become consumed with wilful effort, the free flow of energy might even cut off altogether.

So several times each day I would remind myself to pause, to “lean back,” and to relax into myself, letting go of any foreground concerns that could lure me into a concentrated state.

In late October I had a surgical operation — a regular procedure to remove growths from my trachea. I have undergone the same operation at least forty times in the last 12 years. I had wondered if being under general anaesthetic might affect my wonderful energy flow this time, especially after a friend told me that his own kundalini activation some years ago had stopped after having an operation. Despite these reservations, however, I had a very quick post-op recovery (I actually woke up in the operating theatre), and within days I felt myself drifting back into the flow of good energy.

Power Cut: The Dark Night of the Soul

Since reporting my kundalini awakening, many readers are no doubt wondering where I am at now. Well … I had been continuously immersed in the ecstatic flow for more than 60 days when, around midday on November 9th, it just seemed to stop very abruptly.

It was like a power cut. No more inner flow of bliss, ecstasy, insights, inspiration… In a single instant, everything became dark and lifeless. My new-found vitality and healthy glow disappeared, my sparkling clarity and insightfulness disappeared, my drive and enthusiasm disappeared. Even the weather seemed to suddenly change from summer sunshine to winter gloom.

As I sat there wondering what on earth had just happened, I felt like a lost soul. I hadn’t simply returned to being the old me. Rather, I had disintegrated.

I was in a blank, lifeless state devoid of all warmth and meaning. There was nothing at all going on inside me — no motivation, no desire, no interest — nothing. I even had temporary amnesia for everything I had experienced and learned over the previous two months.

For the next few days I ruminated obsessively over what I could possibly have done “wrong”. But the more I ruminated, the lower I sank into myself. And the lower I sank, the more desperately I wanted to figure a way out. Ruminating about ruminating … I quickly sank into a terrible depression.

Meditating gave me some respite. Heartful contact with my wife and others with others helped lift me out of the pits. Yet I still felt empty and de-personalised.

In fact, the only part of my personality remaining was the most negative. Feeling confused, and in the absence of any inner guidance or insight, my fear-based trait of self-deprecation took control. From that point on, everything I saw, heard, remembered, felt, thought, said or did became, to my psyche, just a sign of my disgraceful inadequacy as a human being. I was nothing.

So … much as I would like to say that I accepted this sudden downturn with maturity, good grace, and serenity, I actually felt devastated, deflated, and utterly incompetent.

The Choice to Be …

I wondered if any other kundalini experiencers had something to say about all this. I consulted friends, books, online articles, web forums … every source I could think of.

A lot of authoritative-looking sources I found gave little more than technical yoga procedures for awakening kundalini. Many seemed to assume that the process follows a one-size-fits-all universal pattern that must apply to all people. Surprisingly few seem to recognise that the process is unique to the individual.

Other sources painted quite a negative picture, giving lists of “symptoms” followed by dire warnings about messing with kundalini. I didn’t find this fear-mongering very helpful, nor did it resonate with my sense of kundalini as an utterly benevolent, intelligent and life-enhancing force of nature.

Most useful for me personally were accounts and insights given by those going through their own kundalini awakening, including both the highs and lows. (I will add a list in due course.) I learned that it is common to experience an initial high (the awakening of kundalini) followed by a terrible low (variously known as a “die-off” or “the dark night of the soul”).

The initial blast of full-on kundalini is a bit like surfing on a tsunami — not something most of us are used to in ordinary life. Our body, brain, mind and personality may not be configured to sustain it for very long. We can have blocks, resistances, misperceptions and unconscious habits that get in the way of the energetic flow.

But if we simply follow our inner guidance, we can intuitively make the changes that are needed. This is precisely what I have been doing for the last month and a half. And while I can’t say I’m back in total bliss, I am feeling the return of the flow a little bit more each day. Rather than a torrent of ecstasy, I am currently experiencing an inner stream of goodness and well-being. I am uplifted, positive, energised.

I have also realised that by being reduced to “nothing” in November, I have had to reconstruct myself bit by bit, and by choice. In other words, it’s as if: first, my ordinary sense of self as a personality was blasted away by kundalini, and second, when kundalini suddenly died off, there was nothing left but this body, this consciousness, and the ability to choose.

barrySo here I am, rebuilding that which I call “me”, but doing so consciously, sometimes joyfully, sometimes carefully, leaving out anything that seems unnecessary. I find that the more I chose to add to my presence, the more I feel the energy return to flow. And … still no sign of CFS/ME!

Roll on 2015. The inner journey continues … for each of us.


(1 January 2015)

A dream, awakening, and healing: (3) All shall be well



Collective Vision by Alex Gray (1995) – AlexGray.com


On September 8th, 2014, I found myself having a lucid dream.

The dream was evidently orchestrated by some intelligence higher than my own, as I unexpectedly met the group-entity popularly known as “Michael” whose teachings I have been following for the last 15 years or so.

They then proceeded to give me a spiritual initiation — an energetic jump-start known in Hinduism as shaktipat.

At that moment I experienced full-on self-realisation and Kundalini awakening, and my life was transformed.

Immediately after that moment:

  • My painful and debilitating state of chronic fatigue (CFS/ME), which had plagued me every day for the last six years and four months vanished in an instant.
  • My body transformed from being sick and run-down to being fit, healthy and buzzing with vitality.
  • My mind became a still, quiet pool of interconnected concepts and memories, available when needed, but otherwise without thought.
  • My awareness became an open field, and expanded far beyond my sensory limitations.
  • My actions became automatically competent, executed masterfully.
  • I somehow “just knew” what to say to others to bring them into clarity.
  • My shyness and self-doubts disappeared altogether.
  • I transformed from an anxious introvert into a super-confident extravert.
  • My everyday personality gave way to a higher Self that was still essentially me, only more so — me without anxiety, me without hiding, me without pretence, just the full power of my presence.

And since then?

Well, so much has happened … it is almost beyond belief. It is an amazing story, and I don’t think it is possible to do the story justice without giving the context of my life history leading up to it. So I will, inevitably, be writing an autobiographical book.

Nevertheless, it feels appropriate — as a sort of integration exercise — that I try to find words to briefly recount and explain the key events and experiences in a more encapsulated form. So here goes.

30 Days and 2 Nights

After that first awakening, I spent an entire month with Kundalini energy raging through me and around me.

I was in a constant altered state, or rather a variety of altered states, giving me insight after insight, inspiration after inspiration, and the utmost joy, love, bliss and peace.

It wasn’t all fun and games, however. As another experiencer of sudden Kundalini awakening has written:

No one gets a free ride.  The opening may be brilliant, transcendent even.  But there will be times of balancing and integration, periods of pain and despair, as one attempts to deal with these unfamiliar energies now infusing ones system, one day mounting into bliss, the next plunging into some kind of pain.

Dorothy Walters PhD,  

Several times an hour I would find myself doing or saying something and would then feel compelled stop to figure which aspect of me had made it happen — the new flow of energy into super-consciousness, or my old personality? Any lack of clarity would impede the flow.

At times the energy was so intense that I was hyperactive and manic. I was having profound insights and revelations faster than I could say them, thought that didn’t stop me from trying, blurting out random gems of wisdom to strangers in the street. And I was exploding with wild enthusiasm, delight and laughter, seemingly over every little thing in every moment.

For my family, at times it was just a bit too much of “me” all at once.

And then: at around 4 AM on October 8th, 2014, I found myself having a second lucid dream.

It was exactly 30 days since that first lucid dreaming / awakening experience.

This time, I found myself being drawn or ushered to the very centre of the universe, the eye of the cosmos, the throbbing Source of creation, the Tao itself, the heart and soul of all-that-is. And then I experienced ecstatic communion with it.

In this state of communion, not only did I receive the answers to every question I have ever wondered about the nature of self, the meaning of life, the origins of the universe, the purpose of our existence, etc … I also became one with the Source, repeatedly.

Or to put it more precisely, I knew myself to be both creator and created at the same time, and I was able to switch between both perspectives at will.

I also realised how creation works, and why it is so.

Frankly, it was almost too much.

Meanwhile …

Tea and Toast

As far as my mystified family were concerned, I was sleepwalking for the first (and hopefully) last time in my life. Apparently, while having this lucid dream of communion with the Source, I had got out of bed, left the bedroom, opened the linen closet, shouted a few things, and then tried to go downstairs.

My son recognised that I was sleepwalking (having seen it in an episode of Malcolm in the Middle!). My wife Emma then managed to guide me back to a bedroom where I lay down on the floor.

Ever cautious, Emma considered the possibility that I might be having a psychotic breakdown of some sort. However, I was (apparently) able to respond to her questions with reassuring statements like, “Don’t worry, it’s OK. It’s all good. Just let it happen.”

I have no memory of any of this.  My first back-in-the-body conscious experience following my Communion with Source was of lying on the bedroom floor, naked, and being fed tea and toast by Emma.

I was pretty disorientated at first, not quite sure which universe I was in. But at the same time I was in a state of utter peace and happiness. I had received the answer to every question I had ever asked, and I had understood the perfect meaning of each and moment of every life, including my own.

Coming out of the altered state and returning to normality, I felt — and still feel — utter contentment at the prospect of living out the rest of my little, human life. All I want to do is be happy and share that happiness with others.

Since that second lucid dream, just two weeks ago, the volcanic explosion of Kundalini has paused. It’s more like a slow lava flow. I still have a super-normal amount of energy and my body, mind and personality are still feeling fresh, clear and brand new, as though I had, quite literally, been born again. But the crazy, manic tendency has largely  subsided.

All is Well …

Julian of NorwichAs I write this, I am reminded of the great medieval English mystic known as Julian of Norwich (1342–1416).

England in the 14th Century was practically a post-Apocalytpic wasteland devastated by plague, famine and poverty. The Black Death had wiped out half of the population.

Julian [1] was probably a widow. And for years she had prayed for a fatal illness that would take her away too. However, her death-wish was not simply a desire to escape a world of pain. Rather, being a seeker of high integrity and self-honesty, she wanted to die fully conscious and with a full understanding of the meaning of life — including the divine plan behind this world of pain.

Between the hours of 4 AM and 9 AM on May 8th, 1373 (… what is it with the 8th of the month …?), the 30-year-old Julian’s death-wish finally began to come true thanks to a terrible illness.  Well, almost. In fact, she had what we now call a near-death experience. And during this experience, she was given 16 profound insights (or “showings”) into the nature of God, man, Christ, sin, love, and suffering.

Julian not only survived the illness, she went on to live another 43 years as a contemplative recluse. From her hermit’s cell, a tiny outhouse that stood next to the equally tiny Church of St. Julian, in Norwich [2], she wrote about her experience. Her book, Revelations of Divine Love, is believed to be the first ever English-language book written by a woman. And it translates remarkably well for a modern audience (see the especially new translation by Mirabai Starr).

Of her 13th revelation, Julian writes:

It seemed to me that if there were no such things as sin, we would all be as pure as our Lord created us, reflecting his likeness … But in this showing Jesus gave me all that I needed:

“Sin is inevitable,” he said. “Yet all will be well, and all shall be well, and every kind of thing shall be well.”


[1] Her true name is lost to history, and it has been assumed that she took the name “Julian” from the little church of St. Julian where she resided, though it is equally possible that Julian/Gillian was her real name.

[2] The original church of St. Julian of Norwich was an Anglo-Saxon building, with an extension built in the Norman era. It was destroyed by a German bomb in 1942, then rebuilt in 1953.

The Nature of Arguments

Hi all

Many relationships run into arguments, from marital tiffs to inter-ethnic disputes, and everything in-between.

Below is something that came to me today while sitting on the toilet thinking about relationship difficulties (as you do). Having just reread it, I thought it worth sharing.

- barry

The Nature of Arguments

An argument is a verbal interaction that operates on two levels:

  1. CONSCIOUS   (overt / explicit)
  2. UNCONSCIOUS   (covert / implicit)

The conscious level is what the argument is seemingly about — superficially, but not really.

The unconscious level is what the argument is really about, without either person making it explicit, often because they are unaware of it.

[ Continue reading → ]

A dream, awakening, and healing: (2) Living with Kundalini

angel face
— Previously on Personality & Spirituality
In the early hours of 8th September, 2014, I had a lucid dream in which I was aware that I wasn’t merely dreaming. In fact, I was in contact with the Causal plane teaching entity known as Michael, who proceeded to give me a Shaktipat initiation. This not only gave me a full-on experience of Self-Realisation, it also triggered a Kundalini awakening. Now read on.
Is it really less than a week since my first post about this? Good grief. So much is happening and things developing so quickly, it seems as if time has slowed down to a quarter of its usual speed.
It also seems important to record every detail as I go along, so now I’m keeping a journal. Not just for my benefit, but so that I will be able to share with others all the experiences and insights that are landing on me like snowflakes in a blizzard.
I can also see that there is probably a book in the pipeline!

A new me

Where to start? Well, there’s been an enormous list of changes since this began:

[ Continue reading → ]

A dream, awakening, and healing: My initiation from Michael

Ok, this is pretty phenomenal. And I don’t often say that when it’s just about me.

Some of you will know my recent history. I have been badly troubled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. since 2008. It’s a massive depletion of energy, which I’ve described as feeling like a frail 90-year-old with a bad dose of ‘flu.*
* If you want to know more, see my About page.
I had really feared that this was a permanent condition from which I would never recover. It has had a dramatic effect on my life, my work, my family, my income. Also my ability to run this website. It has severely dented my sense of worth as a person, an employee, a man, a father, and a husband.

Me + M.E.

(July 2014)

Initiation in a dream

Around 2am on the morning of Monday 8th September, 2014, I had a very lucid (conscious) dream.

[ Continue reading → ]

Cynicism – bad for the brain?

Dr House everybody lies BW2

It has already been found that a cynical outlook is linked to heart disease. Now, research shows that people with high levels of cynicism in later life are also more likely to develop dementia.

Cynicism and Health

Dementia is a brain disease that gradually robs a person of intellectual abilities – memory, knowledge, thinking, language – which severely impacts their ability to function in daily life. The risk of dementia increases with age, and as more people are living longer, dementia is becoming more common.

According to a study published in the medical journal Neurology (May 2014),those with a high degree of cynicism in later life are much more likely to develop dementia than those with more positive attitudes.

[ Continue reading → ]

How to spot an Artisan soul

Hipster Ariel

Since starting this website I have had some wonderful exchanges with many readers. (Plus a few that have been frankly disturbing…). Some of these exchanges have evolved into collaborations of one sort or another.

One of my most insightful and entertaining collaborators is a guy named Rowan. He and I have had many fruitful discussions about the Michael teachings, and in particular about the way facial characteristics can often reveal an individual’s innermost essence (i.e. soul type and casting).

As an Old Priest, Rowan is quite intuitive and has been developing his ability to sense people’s essence and overleaves. He is very assiduous in his research, determined to hone his skill.

Every now and then Rowan sends me an enormous collection of photos of historical figures, people in the news, actors, pop stars and – I have to say – more than a few Z-list celebrities I’ve never heard of. A typical email starts: “Hey Barry, here’s 170 faces that I think are Warrior-cast Scholars – what do you think?” (Cue two hours of ultra-slow broadband while the photos download.)

Anyway, Rowan has given me his permission to start sharing some of his own insights, and here is one that made me laugh out loud.

[ Continue reading → ]

Dying To Be Me: an incredible NDE

Dying To Be Me NDE


My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

by Anita Moorjani

ANITA MOORJANI first came to the world’s attention when her near-death experience (NDE) was highlighted on the NDE Research Foundation website. [1] Her experience is remarkable not only for the life-changing and life-affirming insights she brought back with her, but also for the unprecedented and miraculous healing she underwent immediately afterwards.

In this book, she describes her life prior to that pivotal experience, the illness that almost took her life, the realm she experienced while in a seemingly lifeless coma, and the difference it has made to her life since.

[ Continue reading → ]

Children with past life memories wanted for TV

Ghost Inside My Child

Are you a parent whose child has experienced past life memories? Has your child ever mentioned memories of another life?

A Los Angeles TV production company* is looking for parents and children to participate in a new reality TV series.

The producers, Joke Fincioen and Biagio Messina, say that they are looking for children aged 2-10, preferably American, with tangible evidence of possible past life memories such as drawings, pictures, or video footage.

[ Continue reading → ]

‘Michael Speaks’ — the 1970s group transcripts are finally published


The Center for Michael Teachings announces the release of print versions of the original Michael transcripts from the 1970s — Michael Speaks: The Legacy of Sarah Chambers.


With those few words appearing on a Ouija board in August 1973, Sarah Chambers, her husband, and a few close friends, started a journey that took them far beyond anything they could possibly imagine.

With their new teacher “Michael”, they explored the unseen realm of the spiritual world.  In doing so, they estabished a whole new spiritual teaching that helps us to know and become more of who we truly are.

For the history of the original group of five who first received the Michael teachings, see: History of the Original Michael Teachings Group at AdeptPath.net

Over the next few years, the Oakland-based group kept written transcripts of their meetings.  Those transcripts were copied and passed around to friends and coworkers, and in time found their way to many, many others.

[ Continue reading → ]

Peter Higgs – the reincarnation of Isaac Newton?

Speculating about the past lives of prominent individuals has become a pet hobby of mine. Because souls can develop expertise in a field over several lifetimes, I often wonder if someone highly accomplished today might have had a well-known and identifiable life before this one in a similar field of endeavour. It’s then a case of spotting facial similarity as well as other shared characteristics.

Here is what I came up with when I looked into Prof. Peter Higgs. He is the 83-year-old English physicist who gave his name to the “missing-link” particle which scientists now believe they finally have found: the Higgs boson.

[ Continue reading → ]

Tarot and the Michael Teachings

Here’s a fascinating new take on the Michael Teachings -

Long-time Michael teachings student and channel Stephen Cocconi has been working on a set of Tarot divination cards based on the teachings.

A Tarot deck represents different archetypal influences that we can encounter during our human journey. But whereas the traditional medieval Tarot using symbols like Magician, Cups, Wands, Swords, etc., the archetypes represented in Stephen’s deck are all based upon the soul and personality energies as described in the Michael teachings.

[ Continue reading → ]

Enlightenment Intensives

If you have ever wanted to experience for yourself a moment of genuine spiritual awakening, or if you simply want to know who you truly are, then an Enlightenment Intensive could be for you. Highly recommended.

In the USA, see:

In the UK:

Or to find out more, see my articles here:

Recommended book

Spiritual Turning Points

A Metaphysical Perspective of the Seven Life Transitions

Amazon link


Victoria Marina-Tompkins


Xlibris, Corp. (January 25, 2011)

A groundbreaking look at the Seven Life Transitions --

  • Birth
  • the Terrible Twos
  • Adolescence
  • Mid-life Crisis
  • Life Review
  • Dying
  • Death

-- through the lens of the Michael Teachings, Shamanism and Astrology.

Order from Amazon:

Spiritual Turning Points



You can email me here.