Welcome to Personality & Spirituality. It’s all about understanding who and what we really are — beyond the personality, to the depths of our innermost being or soul. I’m a psychologist and this is my passion.

The purpose of this website is to be a hub of information, inspiration and occasionally entertainment about who and what we really are — beyond (but including) the personality.

Enjoy! :-)

- barry

A d v e r t i s e m e n t


The Nature of Arguments

Hi all

Many relationships run into arguments, from marital tiffs to inter-ethnic disputes, and everything in-between.

Below is something that came to me today while sitting on the toilet thinking about relationship difficulties (as you do). Having just reread it, I thought it worth sharing.

barry

The Nature of Arguments

An argument is a verbal interaction that operates on two levels:

  1. Overt   (conscious / explicit)
  2. Covert   (unconscious / implicit)

The overt level is what the argument is seemingly about — superficially, but not really.

The covert level is what the argument is really about, without either person making it explicit, often because they are unaware of it.

What is explicitly said on the surface level of an argument is not where either individual is coming from. Rather, it represents how each individual wants to be perceived by the other, and — more importantly — wants the other to perceive themselves.

The former, “How I want you to perceive me,” serves the latter, “How I want you to perceive yourself.” For example,

“I want you to see that I am an innocent victim, so that you will then understand that you are acting totally unfairly, and thus you will have no option but to change your behaviour.”

This surface level is motivated by each individual’s own subconscious or semi-conscious agenda, namely the hope of getting the other to change their ways. There is usually a lot of emotional charge powering this agenda.

However, each individual is either completely or partially unaware of what they are doing and why; hence, they act as though what they are expressing at the surface level is just “plain truth”.

The more convincing they can make themselves sound in this performance, the more likely it is (or so they believe) that the other will be persuaded by it. In other words, the hope is that the other person will take in what is explicitly said on the surface as “truth,” and thus change their ways.

This level could also be described as an interaction between personas, a persona being an artificial display of oneself that masks one’s hidden feelings. These are feelings of which one is barely aware, and which — as yet — one is unwilling to face because there is great fear, tenderness and vulnerability surrounding them. It naturally feels safer not to go near these particular feelings (why touch something knowing that it will hurt?).

The hidden agenda or covert strategy, then, is to get those who trigger such feelings (or “press those buttons”) to stop doing so.

This is the whole purpose of the argument.

As soon as both individuals consciously and explicitly recognise that this is what they are actually doing when they argue, the argument can be changed instead into a growthful conversation. That is, a joint discussion with the shared goal of uncovering what each individual actually fears, and how those fears get triggered in their day-to-day lives with the other person.

The aim of such a conversation is for each individual to help one another to address, identify and describe their own fears and how they get subconsciously triggered. In doing so, each one will also come to appreciate the other’s fears, and thus achieve compassion as well as understanding.

The conversation is complete when both parties agree that they have arrived at a clear and true understanding of what the original argument was about, and why it started. There will be no need to continue it because the mechanisms for healing that aspect of the relationship will be clear to both.

Better still, both will be laughing at the unconscious trips they had been laying on each other!

A dream, awakening, and healing: (2) Living with Kundalini

angel face
— Previously on Personality & Spirituality
In the early hours of 8th September, 2014, I had a lucid dream in which I was aware that I wasn’t merely dreaming. In fact, I was in contact with the Causal plane teaching entity known as Michael, who proceeded to give me a Shaktipat initiation. This not only gave me a full-on experience of Self-Realisation, it also triggered a Kundalini awakening. Now read on.
Is it really less than a week since my first post about this? Good grief. So much is happening and things developing so quickly, it seems as if time has slowed down to a quarter of its usual speed.
It also seems important to record every detail as I go along, so now I’m keeping a journal. Not just for my benefit, but so that I will be able to share with others all the experiences and insights that are landing on me like snowflakes in a blizzard.
I can also see that there is probably a book in the pipeline!

A new me

Where to start? Well, there’s been an enormous list of changes since this began:

  • I can no longer feel any trace of the CFS/ME illness that had so worn me down in recent years. In fact, I am feeling fitter now than at any time in my entire life. Seriously!
  • Both my skin and hair feel like that of a newborn baby.
  • I feel enveloped in a kind of cool flame, gently throbbing.
  • There is an aroma that I long ago noticed I give off during spiritual retreats, which is reminiscent of haystacks drying in the sun. I am oozing that same aroma now.
  • Actions have become effortless. Or to be more precise, the less effort I focus into my actions, the more effective and efficient they become.
  • Contrary to what I might have expected, I have no desire to give up alcohol or meat. I love beer! I love venison steaks!
  • I have, however, felt drawn to give up toothpaste in favour of organic coconut oil.
  • Generally I’m feeling fine, great, spacious, open, loving, truthful – and all seems so strangely natural. Conversations with my wife help many insights come into focus.
One feature of the shaktipat moment was knowing that everything I have done, including every “mistake” I have ever made in my lifelong search for ultimate understanding, has been completely right and perfect, playing its part in leading up to that one moment.
The same is also true of every doubt I have ever had about spirituality — perfect at the time, and now unnecessary.
Also, my 15+ years of interest / obsession in a number of channelled teachings, especially the Michael teachings, have been validated, straight from the horse’s mouth as it were. While the integrated personality/spirituality system given in those teachings has always seemed, in my experience, to be perfectly understandable and applicable, I have occasionally questioned the reality of the source over the years. (What if the teachings are really just coming from different channels’ subconscious minds?) But now I’ve met the source!

Awareness and the mind

Generally I am experiencing my Self as an expanse of Awareness. I picture it as a convex shape facing forwards, rather like a radar dish. It’s at least as big as my body and slightly behind it.
And in this open Awareness I can sense my mind as a silvery sphere, slightly below and in front of me (like a globe sitting on my lap). On closer inspection it’s a shimmering web of concepts, memories, patterns, with myriad connecting threads criss-crossing between them all.
I can reach into or focus into my mind to find words, concepts, meanings and memories as I need to. Then I can lean back and let the mind go.
I notice that many concepts in the mind have associations to less-than-effective emotional and behavioural patterns. So if, for example, I focus for a while on “what to buy from the shops today”, in addition to the practical associaitons leading off from that (tea, cereal, fish food…) there are also some associations with past concerns, issues, fears, experiences and so on, such as my anxiety about fogetting to buy something important and then letting down the family.
I can “touch” those associations without getting caught in the web. But I can also imagine that if I were to focus for a long time in there, I might lose awareness of the Awareness, if you see what I mean.
So I can see how one becomes identified with a perspective that is centralised on one’s life history and its associated fears. To take on that focus would be like picking up the spherical web of my mind and putting it over my head, like a crash helmet, limiting myself to the percptions that are filtered through its visor and the habitual patterns that are embedded in it.

Living with Kundalini

The kundalini appears to have taken up residence somewhere in my abdomen, between diaphragm and naval. It’s like a glowing jewel, solid as a diamond, bright as a star, and oozing a kind of nectar into my body.
If I get focused and busy on a task, it recedes into the background and awaits its turn. It’s rather like one of those underwater volcanoes – unseen above water, but there all the same, and immensely powerful.
And then, whenever I just relax and let go, up it shoots. And the more I relax and let go, the more energy I can feel surging around me. Then I feel boundless, joyful energy, like a child running in the sunshine. I can turn my hand to any task and it works itself out effortlessly.
(The other day I decided to give some attention to our garden pond, which had become rather murky and sad-looking thanks to my inability to keep up the necessary maintenance in recent years. But I knew exactly what to do, and did it with great strength and clarity over about 1 hour. Now the pond looks perfect, and even the fountain sounds just right. Our big koi still looks grumpy though.)
At different times I feel Kundalini working on different parts of my anatomy, massaging any resistance into blissful submission.
This week it has been working a lot up my left side, starting with the spleen (i just checked the anatomical location to make sure), then parts of my back and left shoulder, and on into my left brain hemisphere. The sensation is always exquisite.
I am experiencing the Kundalini presence as intelligent, gentle and very agreeable. It’s an amazing relationship — a dialogue — that I am learning more about on a daily basis. An amusing analogy came to mind. At first it was like I’d started having a passionate affair with a secret mistress. Within a week it became more of a romance. Then I realised I’d been sleeping with my guru all along!
Sometimes (like yestoday) I wake up in the morning and think, “Oh, she’s gone. Dammit. Ah well, it was great while it lasted. I wonder if I’ll ever hear from her again?”
Only she hasn’t gone anywhere. She’s just quietly hanging out in the background somewhere, waiting for me to get up and get my chores out of the way. Then as soon as I relax again, she creeps up behind me and then suddenly I’m aware of being gently kissed on the cheek or stroked by a feather.
The other day I was very busy all morning, but then in the afternoon went for a walk — an opportunity to relax. As I walked, I could feel this little presence in my solar plexus, like a bundle of concentrated potential, but I had no idea what it wanted to do.
Within minutes it was making my heart glow with something akin to an orgasm. It took my breath away, and as I was walking in public I had to quickly find somewhere to hide and compose myself!
Kundalini has become my inner guide. Today I asked inwardly,
What am I supposed to eat and drink if I am to sustain this?
And immediately I got a response which, in words, amounted to:
You can eat and drink whatever you like. It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you eat and drink. Whatever you put in your mouth, think of it as oral sex. Both give and receive maximum pleasure.”
I still have no idea how long any of this is going to last, but I have been encouraged to learn of JJ Semple* who has discovered how to keep it permanent, and others who’ve followed suit.

“I am imbued with some special spirit”

I keep being reminded of a scene from the film Network, a fantastic 1976 satire about TV news in the US.
Peter Finch in NetworkThe hero of the story is a news anchorman (played by Peter Finch, a performance for which he won an Oscar), who gets all fired up after being told he’ll lose his job thanks to falling ratings. He then announces on air that he intends to blow his brains out on live TV. Not because he’s suicidal, but as a mutinous gesture.
Despite coming across as a ranting madman, that’s not really where he’s really coming from, as he explains to a colleague in one of the most extraordinary mystical speeches:
I am imbued with some special spirit.
It’s not a religious feeling at all. It is a shocking eruption of great electrical energy.
I feel vivid and flashing as if suddenly I had been plugged into some great electro-magnetic field.
I feel connected to all living things, to flowers, birds, to all the animals of the world and even to some great unseen living force, what I think the Hindus call prana … a shattering and beautiful sensation!
It is the exalted flow of the space-time continuum, save that it is spaceless and timeless, and of such loveliness!
I feel on the verge of some great ultimate truth… **
Here’s a great fan-made trailer for the film (great apart from one spelling mistake).
** The speech was sampled in a great track called Spirit by Vitamen (also available on the compilation album Highway & Landscape 2).

A new use for new technology

OK, this is very weird.
Technology around me cooperates beautifully when I am in my most open and relaxed state. But as soon as I get tightened up into a sense of urgency or concern, things start to “act up”.
My iPhone, in fact, has become a sort of feedback device to show me what state I’m in.
If I’m texting, say, and I type a word from my state of open Awareness, it’s fine. But if a type the same word while in a state of concern, confusion or self-consciousness, it comes out wrong. Not simply misspelt through key-typing errors (like when “Hello” become “Helli” or whatever), but completely wrong, no matter how carefully I try to type. (For example, “Hello” becomes “st&5/gm€.”)
So I’ve learned to take these oddities as cues that my state has shifted. Sure enough, after a few deep breaths and going through a process of “falling back” into my Self, trusting and allowing, everything works fine again.
Wires are another thing.
All my adult life, power leads, headphones, connection cables — they have always been a problem in that they always become entangled. At least once a day, I would find my various wires had become tangled up and so I would have to spend frustrating periods of time untangling them. At some point, however, I got that the entangling and disentangling is a symbol of me and my inner life. The entanglement is inside me. I have been trying to unravel myself for decades.
Now however, my wires have stopped tangling! Even if I throw three wires together in a heap inside my backpack, whenever I want one it will just slide out gracefully. If I pull all three out at the same time, bunched together, I find I’m holding three separate, untangled wires.
Utterly bizarre and freaky, symbolic, and amusing!

A dream, awakening, and healing: My initiation from Michael

Ok, this is pretty phenomenal. And I don’t often say that when it’s just about me.

Some of you will know my recent history. I have been badly troubled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. since 2008. It’s a massive depletion of energy, which I’ve described as feeling like a frail 90-year-old with a bad dose of ‘flu.*
* If you want to know more, see my About page.
I had really feared that this was a permanent condition from which I would never recover. It has had a dramatic effect on my life, my work, my family, my income. Also my ability to run this website. It has severely dented my sense of worth as a person, an employee, a man, a father, and a husband.
barry-2014

Me + M.E.

(July 2014)

Initiation in a dream

Around 2am on the morning of Monday 8th September, 2014, I had a very lucid (conscious) dream.

I was conscious enough to know that it wasn’t “just a dream.” Something was happening to me. I was communing with the Michael entity.

At first I was just having some fun, flying around (as you do in lucid dreams), while these higher-intelligence beings gradually came towards me. I think I was being given time to recognise that I was actually in the presence of Michael, time for it to sink into my conscious awareness without causing me to wake up in surprise. [1]
And then, as soon as I realised this … there was  a solemn moment in which one representative of the group gave me a shaktipat initiation. [2]
With that, I immediately had a spiritual awakening: I experienced myself as my whole Self, perfect and devoid of the ego/mind/personality limitations of the everyday me, “Barry”.
I knew myself, and I still know myself, to be a wonderful, radiant being of great love and great power, utterly and uniquely myself without a shred of fear or doubt.
And while still in this state of Self-realisation I woke up fully. (It seemed to be the right thing to do.)  As I did so, I had a massive kundalini experience. [3]
The full monty! [4]
Glorious energy surging up my spine to the top of my head.
An eternity of ecstasy in a moment of perfection that may have lasted seconds, minutes or hours (I really don’t know!).

Healing and transformation

Since then I have been on a steady emotional high, frequently in a state of ecstasy, super-energised, and with absolutely no trace of fatigue, chronic or otherwise!
At first I was wary of getting my hopes up. Now, however, I am confident that I am transformed.
Two days after the dream (on Wednesday 10th September), I wrote an email to some of my closest friends:
I am in a state of gentle, enduring bliss. Not feeling it when I first wake up in the morning, but as the day progresses it gradually returns, such that by bed-time I’m high as a kite, buzzing with energy, semi-detached from ego and personality. So in order to sleep I have to take something to knock myself out (which is probably why I feel nothing when I wake up).
Last evening, I found that communicating what I’m experiencing amplifies it, to the point that the world glows with a golden hue, and I feel very calm, open, contented, and energised – like I could run a marathon and play drums at the same time.
 
I have been able to observe how I normally identify with the Barry-character I “play” in everyday life, with all his neuroses and narrative and so on. But at the same time I can experience myself as this bigger, more powerful “me”, which I can sense as a sort of transparent envelope or sheath, as thick as a duvet, surrounding my physical body, fizzing with blissful energy.
 
Generally I am oscillating between the two versions of myself, though when I am absorbed in a task, like work or housekeeping, I am not particularly aware of either. I had wondered if that would cause me to lose focus on the bigger me and return to the “little me” just out of habit. What I find, though, is that if I simply relax “backwards” into myself, rather than anxiously “lean forwards” to monitor/control myself, my appearance and behaviour, as I usually would, then the bigger me with all the energy and calmness is right there.
 
Thus far the energy flow seems very steady and surprisingly easy to access even after ignoring it for a few hours. I have also found that every now and then, after a period of intense activity or distraction, I just want to be still, silent, sit upright and think of nothing. So without even trying I am naturally meditating, precisely when the energy wants me to. I also notice I am walking with a very upright posture, which the energy clearly prefers.
  
I don’t know how long this is going to last, but somehow I also don’t care. If it ends in the next second, it will already have been enough for one life.
It also feels like this episode is the culmination point of numerous crises, insights and synchronicities that have been going on for the last few months. Far too much to describe in this single post, so I will be back with more updates.

Notes

[1]  There are said to be precisely 1,050 souls in the collective intelligence known as “Michael” — a combination of Kings and Warriors (for those familiar with these terms). As far as I could tell, though, I was interacting with just a small group of them, between five and ten. Nevertheless, I could tell by the quality of their presence that they were definitely Warriors / Kings with a masterful, no-nonsense power.
[2]  Shaktipat is a transfer of spiritual energy given by a teacher to a student. It instantly awakens the student’s higher consciousness.
[3]  Kundalini is a transformative power residing within a person’s subtle body, around the base of the abdomen. When released or awakened, it unleashes an explosion of spiritual energy rising up the body to the crown of the head. The experience is ecstatic, blissful and profound.
[4] The full monty is British slang for ‘the whole lot’ or ‘all the way’, equivalent to ‘hook, line and sinker’. It also happens to be the name of the second best British comedy film ever (after Life of Brian), and a certain line kept coming into my head after this episode (see image below).
No-one said anything to me about the full monty.

Cynicism – bad for the brain?

Dr House everybody lies BW2

It has already been found that a cynical outlook is linked to heart disease. Now, research shows that people with high levels of cynicism in later life are also more likely to develop dementia.

Cynicism and Health

Dementia is a brain disease that gradually robs a person of intellectual abilities – memory, knowledge, thinking, language – which severely impacts their ability to function in daily life. The risk of dementia increases with age, and as more people are living longer, dementia is becoming more common.

According to a study published in the medical journal Neurology (May 2014),those with a high degree of cynicism in later life are much more likely to develop dementia than those with more positive attitudes.

[ Continue reading → ]

How to spot an Artisan soul

Hipster Ariel

Since starting this website I have had some wonderful exchanges with many readers. (Plus a few that have been frankly disturbing…). Some of these exchanges have evolved into collaborations of one sort or another.

One of my most insightful and entertaining collaborators is a guy named Rowan. He and I have had many fruitful discussions about the Michael teachings, and in particular about the way facial characteristics can often reveal an individual’s innermost essence (i.e. soul type and casting).

As an Old Priest, Rowan is quite intuitive and has been developing his ability to sense people’s essence and overleaves. He is very assiduous in his research, determined to hone his skill.

Every now and then Rowan sends me an enormous collection of photos of historical figures, people in the news, actors, pop stars and – I have to say – more than a few Z-list celebrities I’ve never heard of. A typical email starts: “Hey Barry, here’s 170 faces that I think are Warrior-cast Scholars – what do you think?” (Cue two hours of ultra-slow broadband while the photos download.)

Anyway, Rowan has given me his permission to start sharing some of his own insights, and here is one that made me laugh out loud.

[ Continue reading → ]

Dying To Be Me: an incredible NDE

Dying To Be Me NDE

DYING TO BE ME

My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

by Anita Moorjani

ANITA MOORJANI first came to the world’s attention when her near-death experience (NDE) was highlighted on the NDE Research Foundation website. [1] Her experience is remarkable not only for the life-changing and life-affirming insights she brought back with her, but also for the unprecedented and miraculous healing she underwent immediately afterwards.

In this book, she describes her life prior to that pivotal experience, the illness that almost took her life, the realm she experienced while in a seemingly lifeless coma, and the difference it has made to her life since.

[ Continue reading → ]

Children with past life memories wanted for TV

Ghost Inside My Child

Are you a parent whose child has experienced past life memories? Has your child ever mentioned memories of another life?

A Los Angeles TV production company* is looking for parents and children to participate in a new reality TV series.

The producers, Joke Fincioen and Biagio Messina, say that they are looking for children aged 2-10, preferably American, with tangible evidence of possible past life memories such as drawings, pictures, or video footage.

[ Continue reading → ]

‘Michael Speaks’ — the 1970s group transcripts are finally published

Michael-Speaks

The Center for Michael Teachings announces the release of print versions of the original Michael transcripts from the 1970s — Michael Speaks: The Legacy of Sarah Chambers.

“WE ARE HERE WITH YOU TODAY.”

With those few words appearing on a Ouija board in August 1973, Sarah Chambers, her husband, and a few close friends, started a journey that took them far beyond anything they could possibly imagine.

With their new teacher “Michael”, they explored the unseen realm of the spiritual world.  In doing so, they estabished a whole new spiritual teaching that helps us to know and become more of who we truly are.

For the history of the original group of five who first received the Michael teachings, see: History of the Original Michael Teachings Group at AdeptPath.net

Over the next few years, the Oakland-based group kept written transcripts of their meetings.  Those transcripts were copied and passed around to friends and coworkers, and in time found their way to many, many others.

[ Continue reading → ]

Peter Higgs – the reincarnation of Isaac Newton?

Speculating about the past lives of prominent individuals has become a pet hobby of mine. Because souls can develop expertise in a field over several lifetimes, I often wonder if someone highly accomplished today might have had a well-known and identifiable life before this one in a similar field of endeavour. It’s then a case of spotting facial similarity as well as other shared characteristics.

Here is what I came up with when I looked into Prof. Peter Higgs. He is the 83-year-old English physicist who gave his name to the “missing-link” particle which scientists now believe they finally have found: the Higgs boson.

[ Continue reading → ]

Tarot and the Michael Teachings

Here’s a fascinating new take on the Michael Teachings -

Long-time Michael teachings student and channel Stephen Cocconi has been working on a set of Tarot divination cards based on the teachings.

A Tarot deck represents different archetypal influences that we can encounter during our human journey. But whereas the traditional medieval Tarot using symbols like Magician, Cups, Wands, Swords, etc., the archetypes represented in Stephen’s deck are all based upon the soul and personality energies as described in the Michael teachings.

[ Continue reading → ]

“How near-death experiences are changing the world” – new video

david sunfellowDavid Sunfellow (right), head of the organization New Heaven New Earth, has compiled a 2-hour video on How Near-Death Experiences are Changing the World.

The video is based on talks about near-death experiences (NDEs) given by David in Sedona earlier this year.

It is split into two parts:

Part 1 (1 hr 7 min) gives an overview of the history of NDEs, their common themes and characteristics, and some global statistics. Unusually, perhaps, David begins by stating that NDEs can be related to the teachings of Jesus about the Kingdom of Heaven.

[ Continue reading → ]

NDE researcher arrested for “waterboarding his own daughter”

20120815-102941.jpg

A well-known near-death experience (NDE) researcher and his wife have been arrested for allegedly endangering their own daughter.

I normally look for uplifting news to share but this is just too peculiar and potentially disturbing to ignore.

Dr. Melvin Morse, a paediatrician based in Delaware, is a co-author of Closer To The Light , a landmark study of NDEs in children. He has appeared on Larry King Live and the Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss his research.

Morse, 58, has been accused by his 11-year-old daughter of ‘waterboarding’ her — holding her face under running water. Waterboarding simulates drowning and it has been used in the past by U.S. interrogators on terrorism suspects. Many say it is actually a form of torture and should not be used at all.

Continue reading ‘NDE researcher arrested for “waterboarding his own daughter”’


Enlightenment Intensives

If you have ever wanted to experience for yourself a moment of genuine spiritual awakening, or if you simply want to know who you truly are, then an Enlightenment Intensive could be for you. Highly recommended.


In the USA, see:


In the UK:


Or to find out more, see my articles here:

Recommended book

Spiritual Turning Points

A Metaphysical Perspective of the Seven Life Transitions

Amazon link

Author:

Victoria Marina-Tompkins

Publisher:

Xlibris, Corp. (January 25, 2011)

A groundbreaking look at the Seven Life Transitions --

  • Birth
  • the Terrible Twos
  • Adolescence
  • Mid-life Crisis
  • Life Review
  • Dying
  • Death

-- through the lens of the Michael Teachings, Shamanism and Astrology.

Order from Amazon:

Spiritual Turning Points

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Contact

You can email me here.