10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

Around the world, many people—perhaps the majority overall—accept a belief in reincarnation as part of their religion.

Not many people in the West believe in it, though. In fact, many scoff at the very idea and regard it as nonsense.

This is largely because in the West we are enamored with the benefits of scientific knowledge and increasingly sceptical of the old religions—rightly so, in my view. The knowledge science provides can be systematically checked to ensure that it is valid and reliable. This is why it is of such great value.

But it is not necessarily the only source of knowledge that is valid and reliable.

Besides, what science can see is limited to that which is physical and objective. Reality itself is not necessarily so limited. If we limit our understanding of what reality can be to just what science can see, we are leaving ourselves half-blind.

A wealth of information is now available from a wide variety of sources which, despite their differences, give surprisingly coherent and mearningful insights into the nature of the soul and its evolution.

Thanks to a combination of channelled teachings, insights from near-death experiences, reports of hypnotic regression, transpersonal experiences induced by meditation, breath-work or psychoactive substances, after-death communications, and even scientific research into children’s spontaneous descriptions of their past lives, it is now possible to put together a very clear picture of reincarnation.

Regardless of the medium (no pun intended), the message is consistent. Whether one regards such information as factual knowledge or as loony nonsense depends upon one’s openness to non-physical sources of information.

Interestingly, in light of this accumulation of knowledge, we can now see that even within those Eastern cultures that believe in reincarnation, many people’s understanding of it is confused by all sorts of religious doctrines that are just plain wrong.

So, here are ten things about reincarnation which I think are valid and reliable and which I believe everyone—East or West—would benefit from knowing:

10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

1. The soul exists.

  • The soul isn’t just a myth or an illusion or a relic of pre-scientific superstition. All human beings are a combination of physical, mortal body and non-physical, immortal soul.
  • Your soul is the absolute essence of you — the only true answer to the question, “Who am I?” It is who you always are regardless of how you feel or what you believe or how you perceive yourself.
  • From the body’s perspective, the soul is the conscious, animating life force within it. From the soul’s perspective, the body is a vehicle for inhabiting the physical world and experiencing physical existence.
  • The soul is pure consciousness, pure energy, pure being. It exists on a timeless, non-physical level of reality. It is a piece of Spirit or God or Source, a spark of divine light and love, a fragment of absolute perfection.

2. The soul evolves.

  • All souls are on a mission to evolve (grow, develop) through their own experiences and efforts.
  • To evolve as a soul is to become increasingly self-aware and self-capable as a unique expression of Spirit.
  • By evolving, the soul changes in its level of beingness and consciousness, from new-born innocence to greater and greater levels of love, power and wisdom. In effect, that which is created rejoins the Creator — after eons of evolution.

3. The soul evolves most effectively in physical form.

  • Evolution of the soul comes about through individual experience and choice.
  • A soul evolves most effectively by facing and making choices as a separate individual, making choices big and small, and experiencing the effects of each choice.
  • To do so, the soul incarnates — that is, the soul fuses with a physical body for a whole lifetime, from birth to death.
  • By doing so, the soul gets to experience being physically limited and physically separated from others and from all-that-is. This is actually an illusion, a trick of the senses, as the soul itself is never really limited or separate. But the illusion creates enough desire, fear and other pressures to cause the soul to experience conflicts and dilemmas and to make choices. It also puts the soul’s own perceptions, feelings and decisions under the microscope, as it were.
  • The experiences and choices of a lifetime serve as lessons for the soul once the life is completed. After death (the soul’s exit from the physical realm), the soul and its guides review what happened during the life and what lessons can be learned from it.
  • The soul not only reviews its own experiences and choices but also discovers the effects of its own choices on others during the life. For example, the decision to steal a sum of money at one point may have caused the victim significant hardship and anxiety.
  • The soul learns that all choices have experiential consequences, not just for the self but for everyone involved.

4. The soul undergoes the full range of meaningful  experiences and choices by reincarnating.

  • One lifetime is not enough to experience the whole gamut of life circumstances and to make all choices. For example, the soul needs to experience life as both male and female; as both victim and perpetrator; as both student and teacher… Hence, the soul re-incarnates many times over in order to experience the full spectrum of life.
  • Being human again and again, each time with a different body, different life circumstances and different relationships, enables the soul to experience the full range of possible perspectives and relationships and all the lessons that these entail.
  • Through many different human experiences, the soul gradually becomes more self-aware, gradually discovers more of its true capabilities (love, power, wisdom), and gradually learns how to overcome the illusory limitations of being physical.
  • Generally, the soul learns best through a “compare and contrast” process, not through blind repetition. Hence any given lifetime may be completely different in some way from the last one. (From the soul’s point of view, there is little value in repeating the same kind of life again and again — unless, that is, there is a specific lesson within that lifestyle which has yet to be learned — in which case, Groundhog Day is an excellent metaphor).
  • Each human lifetime is an opportunity to learn specific lessons. One lifetime, for example, might focus on learning greater self-responsibility while the next might focus on being kinder to others. If in one lifetime the soul experiences being a man with a lot of power over women, say, it would then be of value to contrast that with the experience of being a powerless woman.
  • The soul has no preference for one side of the equation or the other, since both sides help draw out different aspects of the soul.

5. The soul has no nationality, creed, race or gender.

  • There is no such thing as a Jewish soul or a Chinese soul or whatever. We are just souls, and as souls we are free to experience the whole variety of human cultures across the planet.
  • We choose our birth location, race and nationality to suit our purposes for any given lifetime. Sometimes race and creed are a deliberate choice; at other times they are merely incidental to what the life is about.
  • Because the soul learns through a process of “compare and contrast”, one who has just experienced a life as (say) an Israeli soldier might decide to be (say) a Palestinian orphan in the next.
  • There is no such thing as a male soul or a female soul. Gender is a biological phenomenon, not a spiritual one. Human beings are of two sexes and so we have to choose which one to be before each life begins.
  • Because we want to experience, compare and contrast all possible perspectives, we will choose to experience lives as both men and women. We can be male or female as often as we please. We can be male in one lifetime and female the next. Or we can be male for ten lifetimes and female for the next fifty lifetimes. It is all a matter of choice. Even if we have a strong preference for one gender, we will still tend to incarnate as the other gender every now and then, just to maintain a balanced perspective.

6. The soul sticks to one species at a time.

  • Contrary to certain teachings, the souls of human beings reincarnate only as human beings.
  • That’s not to say we did not experience life in simpler life forms before that. But at some point in our earlier evolution, we selected the human species as our vehicle of choice (no pun intended) to evolve as self-aware individuals.
  • The soul’s mission is to expand in consciousness, and there is no value for the soul already at the human level in experiencing life at a “sub-human” level of consciousness. There may be rare exceptions where a soul who is normally human experiments with being a dolphin, say, but as a rule we do not return as insects or cows or blades of grass or what have you. We are spiritual beings on a human journey, learning to be ourselves through human experiences, human relationships and human choices.

7. Each lifetime is pre-planned.

  • Before taking birth, the soul (along with its guides in spirit) will decide what experiences and choices the life should include.
  • The appropriate circumstances and relationships will be chosen and set up with the cooperation and agreement of other souls who will be involved.
    • For example, let’s say the soul wants to experience being compassionate towards children. The soul may decide that the life to come should include its own childhood experience of abandonment by the mother. This would help drive the personality in adult life to want to help abandoned children. Another soul will then agree, out of love, to be the mother who abandons this soul in childhood.
  • Most major events in life are pre-planned: the birth, the family, the school, the relationships, the career and so on. This includes deaths, accidents and illnesses. There is, however, plenty of room for unplanned things to occur. The choices we make on the ground matter far more than “destiny”.
  • The body is also chosen by the soul before birth. Souls are aware of which foetuses are viable and which are not, and which are going to be terminated before birth. (Hence, abortion is not really ‘murder’.)
  • Some lifetimes are explicitly set up for the soul to undergo a particular learning experience (such as being a teacher, for example), while some are actually undertaken for the benefit of others‘ learning experiences.
    • For example, we might opt to live a life as a much-loved child who suddenly dies while still young, purely in order to help another soul undergo the experience of tragic loss.

8. There is a law of karma…

  • … but it is not like many people think it is.
  • If soul A kills soul B in one lifetime, then in a later lifetime soul B will kill soul A. That is the effect of karma.
  • But karma is not (repeat not) about cosmic justice or divine retribution. From the perspective of Spirit, there is no need for cosmic justice because there is no such thing as cosmic injustice.
  • Karma is really about learning through “entanglement”. If I do something in physical life that violates your free will, we become entangled. We both feel the lack of equilibrium between us. It’s like we have become tied together by a rope. The only way to restore equilibrium is to undo the entanglement—by having you violate my free will in a similar way. That way, we both know from experience what it is like to be both the violator and the violated.
  • Souls tend to commit karmic acts in the early stages of their reincarnations when they have less experience of human existence.
  • Typical karmic acts are: murder, rape, dismemberment, imprisonment, abandonment.
  • In all cases, one person imposes something on another against the other’s will. There is no karmic entanglement for acts that are accidental or not by choice.

9. Reincarnation has a beginning and an end.

  • Contrary to certain teachings, we are not tied to a wheel of endless death and rebirth, to be saved only by renouncing the world and seeking spiritual liberation.
  • The whole journey of evolving through reincarnation begins with us at a certain level and ends once we reach another level. It takes (typically) well over 100 lifetimes. From first human life to last requires thousands of years, depending upon the availability of physical bodies.
  • In spirit, the whole path is clear to us and we know exactly what we are doing. Each lifetime is a deliberate adventure and is undertaken out of love and a desire to evolve.

10. There is no urgency.

  • Contrary to what many teach on the subject, there is no urgency for us to become enlightened, or to complete our reincarnational cycle.
  • It is not “better” to evolve quickly over a few lives than to evolve slowly over many lives.
  • Reincarnation is not a challenge to reach the end of evolution as quickly as possible.
  • We are not “caught” in the cycle of human death and rebirth.
  • The physical world is not a hell-hole to be climbed out of.
  • God is not wishing we would get a move on.
  • From the perspective of Spirit, there is no passage of time. Time is just a perceptual phenomenon for us while in physical form. Souls literally do not care how many thousands of years it takes to get from one level of reincarnation to another. The passage of time in human terms is, to the soul, irrelevant.

A final word

I would also add one more correction to certain teachings: souls do not normally reincarnate instantly after death. Usually there is a period of several years or decades between one life and the next, during which the soul recuperates, considers the lessons learned from the last life and plans its next one.


It should come as no surprise to learn that we have had a past life, or even many past lives. The only ones who haven’t lived a previous life are those at the very beginning of the reincarnational cycle. The only ones who aren’t coming back after this life are those at the very end of the cycle.

Reincarnation is the norm for all human beings. It is universal. It is what we are all doing here.

Further reading

For a useful perspective on the stages of reincarnation, see –

You can also check out all my blogposts tagged “reincarnation” , including these popular posts:

– barry

451 thoughts on “10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

  1. Hello Barry,great site.
    My question is related to things that happen after a country is prepared to integrate in EU, i have observed during this preparation there is too much propaganda about some minority of people and as a result i’m in a debate most of times when this subject arise.
    What do you think about gay,lesbian,transvestite people is this natural behavior to experience joy of life in many ways or some mental disorder?

    • Hi Filip

      Sexual orientation is just one of the many variables we can choose to play with in life, one of many ways to expand our experience of joy, freedom and/or growth. Mental disorder is another, but the two are not usually related.

    • Thank you for your reply i have think about this.
      Did you heard of people that see some energy at light? This energy look like some very,very small stars moving always disappearing and appearing, i see them always even at night at some light or when i close my eyes looking at sun and i not understand this happen in my eyes or around me, also they remind me of those green stars when you hit the head but you see them bigger then disappearing slowly normally i need just to look at light and see them.
      I hope you not think i’m crazy and maybe know something about this that you can share.

  2. Hey so I have a few questions.

    1. Does our personalities change in each life that we have. I read somewhere it doesn’t but the fact that we go through a lot in our lives doesn’t make sense that they wouldn’t change. Especially if we’re actively trying to change it.

    2. (gonna be crazy) if were attracted to a person we’ve never met whether it was their personality or their looks does that mean we’ve met them before or something? I doubt it but I just want to ask.

    3. If we have mental disorder like example depression or bipolar where does that come from? Or like what experiences in a past life could trigger that in a present one?

    4. If your surrounded by a lot of domestic violence and have been restricted from being yourself/expressing yourself does that mean I’ve done that in a past life?

    5. Also how would you know if you’ve had a past life dream?

    • Quick answers:

      1. Depends what you mean by personality. The outer personality changes from one life to the next as we choose certain traits appropriate for each life (see http://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/overleaves-the-structure-of-personality/). The inner self remains constant (see http://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/the-seven-roles-in-essence/), but gradually changes in level of consciousness (see http://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/reincarnation-the-35-steps/).

      2. Many factors can be at work when there is an attraction. It can be purely physical or sexual. It can be a case of projection (idealising the other person, putting them on a pedastal). It can be a “meeting of minds” or a compatibility of personalities. And yes, it can also be the sense of familiarity that comes with bumping into a soul mate or at least someone with whom you’ve had pleasant experiences in previous lives. (You can also feel immediately repelled by bumping into someone you’ve had difficult experiences with in previous lives!)

      3. Again, too many possible factors for just one answer. Some mental ailments are chosen; some are genetic risks that go with the chosen body; some are the result of one’s essence or personality being at odds with one’s upbringing, culture, or life experience. And some are carried over from past life trauma (a sort of PTSD). Example: a soldier killed in war returns as a child with anxiety problems; a woman abused to death returns as a child with anger and depression.

      4. Possibly but not necessarily. Very often, the childhood experience is pre-planned by oneself (with the agreement of those playing the parent roles) in order to give oneself something negative to push away from, to propel one to find positive relationships and true self-expression in later life.

      5. Most dreams are a symbolic representations of our current emotions and issues. They are usually pretty mundane situations with weird elements. For example, you might dream that you need to get to an important meeting but you can’t because a horse has stolen your car keys. There is a surreal quality to it all. In a past life dream, in contrast, you re-experience an event that left a great impact, or an event that has resonances with whatever is happening in your life now. There is a much more “realistic” sense to it – the experience is very visceral, and there’s nothing surreal going on. For example, I once dreamt that I was guarding a mountain pass, which I somehow knew was in the France in the 1200s. A band of foreigners approached; I stopped them; the leader took out an ax and brought the blade down into my head; I could literally taste the metal going through my tongue. My dying thought was that I really must try to avoid such violent deaths. So past life dreams have a very different quality, and there might also be a sense of recognition and familiarity.

  3. This is a very interesting article. I have so many questions. First how do you know all this? You r a human and you have a soul that has attached to you. So how do you know? Second. Does this mean that God does exist? Because if I’m a body that a has a soul attached and God does exist then my soul would know, then how come I have never believed in God?Next I have had a horrible family life and feel very disconnected from them does that mean they are not souls I knew previously? And last I have been in 3 serious relationships and loved them all. But they all left. One thru suicide. But then I met someone and instantly connected and fell in love right away. More than i loved the other 3.He is from far away and happened to come he e’er e for work. Does this mean his soul came here for me? Or weird coincidence?

  4. hi Barry ,

    Very Interesting read indeed !

    I have come across these concepts and did some introspection too.

    Life is an illusion , a game , and sat-karma is the guiding light for the soul. Karma decides the next reincarnation of the soul. Most of life’s attractions /displeasures are collectively Maya or illusion. This may be credible knowing today’s science actually proves that matter is mostly empty space and interplays of energy and our senses.

    But my question is why do we need souls in the first place ?

    And why do they need to be good or bad ,and need to correct /evolve themselves through reincarnation ?

    It sounds like the universal controller needed to have some fun and created multitude of souls , made them good/bad and gave them some purpose to keep reincarnating. Watching the interactions, troubles and successes of humans on this earth is probably creating some interest for the supreme spirit who would be otherwise bored with omnipotence in a perfect world ?


    • Hi Mayukh,

      Well, I wouldn’t say there is a supreme controller. I would say there is an omnipresent creative life force, and we are all components of it – in a sense, we create ourselves. I also wouldn’t say that there are good or bad souls; we are all just souls in a natural state of love. We incarnate in separate bodies with separate minds precisely so that we can expand in self-awareness by gradually overcoming our fear of one another.

  5. Hi Barry
    I am searching for meaning and purpose in my life. I’m struggling to find my way right now and strongly considering ending it all. I’m out of a job. The love of my life left me for another guy and I was in an accident which I hurt my knee so badly I won’t ever do sports again. I have been doing the best given who I am as a person. But I have always felt a deep sense of separatedness from people. It’s chronic at this stage and being going on for ten years of my life. I’m at my wits end. I am a very sensitive person and tend to feel my way through life. Is this part of my journey? Did I choose this? Isn’t the point of life to be happy?. I have never felt good enough in life not worthy and not ready to except love either always pushing it away. Thus more and more loneliness sadness aloneness, self judgement etc.

    Im just wonder how do you come to such precise conclusions and answers about what our purpose as human beings is on this planet. I mean why so much suffering and pain. I know that is real. Whether we are soul types of a kind or another I’m not so sure. It seems your soul type classification seems in part to correspond with Carl June’s personality types or the enneagram theory? I’m an infp anD type 4 on the enneagram. Could past lives theory be imagined. I mean I could imagine that I am anything during a regression right?

    • I am a fan of MBTI also and I too have noticed a correlation between the “soul age” categorizations and MBTI personalities. The “baby soul” correlates to the SJ temperament and the “young soul” correlates to the SP temperament, leaving the coveted positions of the “mature soul” to the NFs and I’d say the “old soul” to NFPs, which also, interestingly enough, tend to make up the majority of groups drawn to these topics. In other words, this soul classification system seems to glorify the temperaments of those who tend to be misfits in society and gives them a context to understand their place. I’m not a fan of the classification system myself, but I know this is a website examining things within that framework so I don’t want to just tear it apart. I’m simply offering another vantage point to try to look at what I see as inherent biases within this soul age classification system. If you read type theory or Gifts Differing (Or Keirsey’s Please Understand Me) you will see how, while type theory seeks to equalize and validate all types, this soul age categorization seeks to diminish some while glorifying others. As an N, I am no stranger to the isolation and alienation us Ns (and especially those who are NFs) feel in a society dominated by SJ “baby” and SP “young” values. However, that does not give us the right to attach spiritual growth significance to others because we don’t like their temperaments or get along with them. Some of the wisest, “oldest soul” people I know are Sensors, and due to their preference for order and timeliness as well as their practical down-to-earth (not abstract and theoretical as we tend to be) outlook, they would classified as “baby souls.”

      Funnily enough, I know one no-nonsense ESTJ guy who has a soul history so bizarre (to me, the person picking up on it) that he would never in a million years believe it. And yet, there it is. Perhaps we choose different personalities over the lifetimes we live for reasons that have little to do with how advanced or experienced (or otherworldly) we are as souls.

  6. Hi Barry,

    I just wanted to express my gratitude to you for this site. I have been told by one or two spiritally gifted persons that my daughter is an old soul. She is just a baby, soon to be a year old so I really don’t know if her personality fits the description just yet.

    I wanted to know if you have any information on star seeds etc. Also, have you ever heard of Teal Swan, The Spiritual Catalyst? She’s a wonderful spiritual teacher. Maybe you can check her out.

    Thank you again for the wealth of information provided.


  7. How does one know if their soul is at the beginning or the end of their reincarnation cycle? In your opinion 🙂

    • An old soul who is near the end just knows, implicitly or explicitly, and wouldn’t need or care to ask. The question is generally of interest to young and mature souls, or early old souls. The question wouldn’t occur to an infant soul; it’s too abstract. A baby soul can only “know” by being told, so they wouldn’t consider the possibility of grasping it for themselves.

      To answer more specifically:
      Consider the scope of one’s concerns and motivations in life.
      Infant souls are largely wrapped up in getting through the day – survival, self-protection, acting on impulse with little or no conscience.
      Baby souls are more concerned with fitting in with the rules and regulations of “right living”, being a decent moral citizen, an upright pillar of the community.
      Young souls are more concerned with standing out in some way, demonstrating their greatness, experiencing the richness of their abilities, becoming successful.
      Mature souls are mired in complex personal and interpersonal issues, and are often overwhelmed at spinning so many plates at once. They are trying to get it “right” in every possible way. They do also have an interest in deeper psychological, philosophical and spiritual questions, though.
      Old souls are less immersed in life, more like surfers. Their interests lie in perfecting whatever turns them on — personally, ethically, artistically, whatever. Wisdom grows naturally.

      Does that help?

    • Dear Barry.
      Very interesting and enlightening article thank you. however I’ve been told and could possible be wrong that the soul does care or should care how long it spends in this material cycle of reincarnation, therefor urgency should be important, several spiritual movements such as krisna consciousness, talk about how our soul was given ultimate independence, through the supreme mercy and love for us, and that’s why we’re incarnating again and again, but ultimately our souls crave or should crave a returning home to oneness with the universe and endless pure happiness love and joy. And to do that we should chant, associate with pure consciousness deities or gurus, be vegetarian and so worth to detach ourself from unnecessary material attachment and suffering. Why suffer when u could live in the purest most passionate happiness, love and joy in the universe for all eternity. There for our souls should seek understanding and spiritual awakening as soon as possible to experience eternal bliss not prolonged suffering? how would u respond? I would like to add that my understanding of spirituality and the deeper self is limited as I’m only eighteen, I would also like to ask a question or two, one regarding how to figure out ones soul type, it feels like I could be several from the facial description or attributes, is there any other way of figuring it out? Secondly I feel like we can jump from human to other forms of incarnation depending on our karmic activities, if we eat animals and cause unnecessary suffering and pain then we might have to be born a animal to experience that pain to learn of our ignorant actions, therefor karmic regression is possible? And we don’t stick to singular species at a time? Thirdly what is ur understanding of why we jump into this cycle of reincarnation in the first place? Why come to this plane of anxiety, misery and suffering? And lastly I’m struggling with a addiction of personal gratification and self pleasure, however I think And realise that it’s a wastage of spiritual energy. I have the will to stop but I don’t have the desire because my mind has justified that there’s no reason to stop. Could you share how I could possible contribute to ending this cycle. Sorry for all the questions, thank you for any reply, Sam.

    • Ah, questions you have, young padawan. Relax you should do.

      Faith and spirituality is gained over time and through openess of mind. Questions are answered when you are ready to hear it. Humans are on a different level. It would not make sense to frolock the forests as a deer for sheer funzies. That would be delaying your advancement in your chart.

      Also, if we can not omnomify meats, why do we have canines?

      But it really is just preference. If you enjoy meat, have it in moderation. If not, find other sources of protein. The 3 Sisters combined make the complete protein. Corn, beans, and squashes. Venison is good meat too. Very lean.

    • In what sense do you mean “follow” – as in reincarnate together often? If that’s the case, yes, we tend to incarnate frequently with certain soul mates – not just one or two, however, but a wide variety. So there may be some that you incarnate with, say, just once in every 300 years or so. My current wife is an old flame from the 12th C.

  8. Barry your insight is always enlightening and brings great comfort.
    My question is:
    After physical death does the soul experience the same emotional feelings
    as we do in the physical form?
    Thank you,

    • Immediately after the human body has been shed, but before the (human-level) mind has been shed, the same emotions are all available. So one can experience remorse, terror, grief, etc while in the out-of-body state. But once the personal mind has been shed during the after-life review, there is only room for positive feelings. Without the limitations and duality of human perception, there is no reason for negative feelings to exist.

  9. hello 🙂 i have a question, my friend who was 18 passed away six months ago and i was wondering if i will see her again? the same goes for all loved ones, i mean it would really suck if i didnt get to see any of them again before we reincarnate. also what about animals? i was very close to make dog who passed 18 months ago what happened to him?

    • Hi

      The moment you leave your body at the end of this life, loved ones will start appearing. If there are souls you are eager to see again, including pets, they will come to you. Love is celebrated, not forgotten. But you will soon remember all this while in the between-lives state that is our real home. Once you become re-acquainted with the realm of light, your full soul consciousness returns and all those perceptions that apply to the human condition only, such as loss of loved ones, will fall away. You just put your attention on another, and they are present.

    • Barry,

      I often wonder how a loved one would present themselves to you after you’ve passed, if they’ve already been reincarnated to another lifetime. Is it that even though they are incarnated living another lifetime, they can still appear to you in the afterlife as you remember them?

    • I’ve read various things about this. One is that only a portion of a soul incarnates; so while part of its consciousness is focused into (and completely identified with) a human personality, the rest of it remains in the astral (the realm of light between lives), on a higher level, but less focused — as if in meditation, or asleep.

      Another is that this higher part becomes active as the personality-focused part sleeps. In fact, I think one of Michael Newton’s subjects said that one of the “jobs” our soul can do while our body sleeps is to assist those who have just died to make their transition.

      I also came across this little description from someone who had a profound near-death experience:

      “I experienced every loved one I had ever known (and the ones I didn’t think I loved too), all there. The ones who were still incarnate on Earth were [also] there – they seemed to be split – part of them in human form, nearly unreachable, and part remained there in the higher form, fully within me and me within them.

    • Barry, very interesting. Thank You. This makes complete sense to me. You mentioned one of Michael Newtons subjects saying one of the “jobs” our soul can do while the body sleeps is assist those who have just died to make their transition.

      This is exactly what I personally experienced when my mom was in the hospital on life support after a brain aneurysm. They had decided to take her off the life support after 3 weeks. She was living off of the life support for over 24 hours. I had left the hospital the day they took her off while my sister stayed at the hospital next to her and went home to sleep that night. I had woke up early around 5:30am but, for some reason by 7:00am I became extremely tired and went back to sleep. Around 8am while I was sleeping I had an extremely vivd dream in which I was at the hospital walking through the parking lot toward the front doors entrance to the hospital as I walked towards the front doors my mother appeared coming out of the front doors looking extremely confused and baffled. I said ” mom, what are doing your supposed to be in the hospital bed.” I the. Realised what was going on and instinctively knew she was passing. Again, she was extremely confused at was going on and she said ” can you take me home, I want to go home” I felt a deep sense of compassion realising she needed help, instinctively I told her “you need to turn around, ” “you can’t get home this way” I pointed my finger at the direction she was supposed to go in and she felt much better as I guided her towards the space she was to go. I told her ” everything’s going to be fine, you need to go over there and someone will meet you there” she said, “will you take me there” I said, I can’t … I then reassured she is fine and she will needs to turn around and go the other way.

      Then I woke up and rolled over to get my phone to see what time it was, at that moment my sister was texting me saying ” mom, just died” I knew at that moment I was somehow called out of my sleep to guide her through her transition.

      Interestingly I have experienced other occurrences very similar to that one while sleeping with others who have passed.

      This makes complete sense to me now. Thank you again Barry. You are very special and it is truly refreshing to know your out there as well as others and to know these occurrences do happen to others I’m not the only one.

    • Hi Lissa,

      What a fascinating and incredible experience. It certainly fits the information from various sources. Many thanks, Lissa.

    • Your very welcome, and Thank You. Yes, that is very true … What you said, “that while the physical personality is active, the soul lies ‘dormant’ on the astral plane.” It is while asleep the soul can make ‘ errands’ that it can’t take care of while doing day to day life in physical plane. It completely explains everything.

  10. I know it’s difficult to understand how we interpret spirituality through our physical senses and the indoctrinations we receive from birth. Because of that, I would like to ask you, have you evaluated what you’ve learned based on allowing that time may NOT be linear as we perceive? Or that we experience linearly and non linearly at the same time?
    An example would be a dream (but not) where you encounter someone you know now, however it is clear they are interacting with you from a lifetime they experienced decades or centuries ago.

    • Don’t think I’ve had exactly that kind of experience, but I’m very familiar with the non-linearity of time in non-physical planes of existence. My understanding is that when we experience time on the physical plane, it’s as if we are travelling on an underground metro system. We are at a specific point, going along inexorably in one direction, with occasional variations in speed. Between lives, however, we have a panoramic overview which is like looking at a map of the metro system. We can see where we have been and where we are going.

  11. Is it possible for someone to imagine/understand how something would be/feel in their current life, so there would be no need to have to incarnate and really live through it in the next life? And if so, is there something an individual can do to come to a high level of understanding and not have to come back as often?

    • Hi Chris

      Right after death we review everything that happened in the life that just ended. We simultaneously experience the impact of every choice we made, both on ourselves and others, and gain instantaneous insight into how something feels, and why. So in a sense, complete understanding is coming your way anyway. However, the more insight you can gain within this life “on the ground”, the better it is for your growth, and the less likely you are to create suffering for yourself and others.

      That said, your use of words suggests an “issue” with coming back. It’s never the case that we “have to incarnate”, and there is nothing desirable about coming back less often, except from within our limited human perspective. Between lives, returning to Earth is generally an attractive option. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t do it. One of the things that motivates us to keep coming back is recognising how much unnecessary suffering there is “down here”, and that we have the capacity to do something about it. So I would suggest: imagining and understanding how something might feel is a good way to gain compassion and wisdom, and thus reduce suffering while you’re still here, rather than to avoid coming back.


  12. I want to ask about people who have reached higher states of consciousness, like some shamans, claiming that they will vanish into infinity when they die, will they reincarnate or they are old souls in the final step of evolution?
    And about this, can a young soul skip a few steps to become an old soul if in one life time that respective person is very eager to evolve and does a tremendous work in this way?
    Oh and if someone decides to kill himself/herself, what kind of retribution is there for such a gesture?


    • No one vanishes into infinity. (We are all already merged with infinity, not separate from it.) When we “ascend” or complete our cycles of reincarnation we gradually re-unite with our large group of soul mates as they finish theirs, forming a greater collective consciousness. We also serve as “spirit guides” or “elder spirits” for those still reincarnating.

      It is neither possible nor desirable to skip steps. We are all very eager to evolve, but as souls we do not mind how long it takes in terms of physical time. We evolve only by going deeply into the process, not by somehow jumping ahead to the goal. We can accelerate, or decelerate, or pause, whenever we like. But the sense of needing or wanting to hurry up is purely a function of human fear and illusion within time. The soul’s awareness is unaffected by time.

      There is no retribution for any gesture, period. People commit suicide out of pain and confusion, not because they are wrong-doers. As soon as they die, they realise for themselves that they didn’t have to commit suicide, that there were alternatives. In their next life they will simply try again to pursue those alternatives.


  13. I’m 92 years old, and have had an uneasy feeling that my end is nearing every passing day. However, much to my surprise, reading this article makes me more “at peace” and less fearful of death. I do have a few questions though. When my life ends, how much choice will I have on my next life’s events? Are my appearance, my gender, my nationality, and my experiences for my next life entirely up to me, or does my guide make some decisions for me?

    Thanks in advance.

    • Hello there,

      To answer your questions to the best of my knowledge:

      When your life ends, first you will experience a glorious return to our natural home: the realm of universal light, love, joy and freedom. You will review the life just lived, replenish, rejuvenate, rejoice with your soul mates, and at some point eventually you will begin to focus on your next life.

      For this, you have total choice. You could be whatever race, gender and nationality you like, if you so choose. In practice, you are likely to sketch out your life plan first and then select a human life that will best fit it – but nothing is imposed against your will. The choice is and must be entirely yours, as that is the very reason why we are doing this – to exercise our free choice in our own way of being.

      Your guide is merely that – your guide – and will not impose any decisions upon you.

      Lovely to hear from you, and I hope this helps,


    • Hi Barry,
      This is fascinating to me on so many levels. This physical incarnate has allowed me a thin veil and I am so grateful.

      After reading your response about nothing is imposed, I’d like to share my memories. These are from early on in life and I’d love to know your thoughts. I will do my best to give you the quickest time line.

      0. I remember coming into this world, falling through blackness feeling like i was scared, being promised that this life would not be like the last.

      1. about 4 or 5- used to have a canopy bed. each night powder bluish/white orbs would line the canopy and I would telepathically talk with them and laugh and feel pure love and joy.

      2. one night around 5-6 I asked them orbs how come they weren’t showing up as much. they said it was time for them to go. it’s what happens as we grow up. by the time i was 7 they were gone. only recaptured once during a meditation a couple of years ago and they were one giant light and joyful and peaceful.

      3. during yr. 5-6 i heard 3 elders talking about me, above me. i heard them say “well she’s just going to have to go through it like everyone else” another responded with well we told her this life would be ok” i interrupted and said, ” i can hear you”. one said “you can” i said yes. never heard their voices again.

      4. my whole life beginning as a young child i have watched blades of grass grow in the slowest most hallucenagenic form w/out being on one. i have swayed and become one with trees, where there we were literally one, not real form, no real shape, just one. i have had premonitions of life and death, dreams that are pregcog, warnings, rec’d downloads in my sleep with symbols i haven’t recognized except for PI and Omega, multidimensional visitations, i feel earthly sensations, vibrations and waves all the time (pre-earthquake). i saw my father as he was dying in another state, encased in his aura with what i was told was intermission music while he transitioned and had dreams of his life in review going backwards and him visiting me to tell me he loved me. I’ve heard a third eye whisper from a woman’s voice giving me information. I am a reiki master and empathic and intuitive at 47. I feel most connected to nature and the cosmos. i do have moments when i long to go home. there is a lot of suffering down here. i have ups and downs like any physical being. i am not religious in the slightest and am unsure of a “divine plan”. i do believe i have been reincarnated and will be again. i do feel i’ve recognized others from a soul perspective many times over. not nec. my soul family, but like on a deeper level we all know we are here, experiencing.

      5. in 2009 i passed out (allergic to a cough syrup) while i was out, i remember not breathing. i said to myself, julie, breathe. julie you’re not breathing you need to breathe now is the time. take a breath… out of nowhere i heard my panel of elders speaking and panicking about what was going on and this wasn’t suppose to be happening now. i took a breath, and when i awoke, i looked at my husband and he said you look confused, i said i thought there were other people in here. he said no. we were at home. i had the worst headache i’d ever had in my life and i said to him, i am not afraid to die.

      as i am in a seeking, deepening portion of my life, compassionate and filled with empathy for everyone on earth sharing this experience and also struggling here and there with the darker side of humans while trying to keep in mind the ways of reincarnation and the souls experience… i walk this earth with ancestors, beings and soul family. i am more comfortable now in my earthly skin than i was in my 20’s of course.

      Question: elders – are they nice? I got the feeling mine were authoratative and my light being multidimensional friend is pure love and joy reminding me we are love. it’s an interesting contrast.

      any feedback on any and all of this, and i know it’s a lot, would be deeply appreciated.

      in gratitude, julie.

    • Hi Julie,

      Sorry it’s taken me a while to get back. I’ve been going through some high-intensity life experiences for several months now, both uplifting and challenging.

      Thanks so much for sharing your memories. Clearly you came into this life with one “eye” still open to the higher realm. You could be described as highly sensitive — not in the physical/psychological sense, but highly sensitive to metaphysical energy in general and to spiritual communications that are are connected to you yourself (ie your guides/orbs).

      Many years ago I did a birth regression experience where the strongest emotion I had was “Oh no, not this again.” That was actually the first experience that opened my mind to the possibility of reincarnation and its relevance to ordinary life.

      I think what happens is: While still very much in the afterlife or interlife realm, we have a panoramic view of the human life and we plan it out in a fairly detached, objective way. Birth here, childhood trauma there, marriage here, divorce there, and so on. Then as we jump down the chute, as it were, to enter human life we pick up again all the emotions that we associate with being here — the pain, the tedium, the chaos etc. This is part of the veil of amnesia that comes with being born.

      It sounds like your last life was a heavy one, and your guides were reassuring you that it wouldn’t be like that this time. But as you came into the new body, you still had those emotions coming at you.

      Your memory #3 made me laugh. Like when two people we know are talking about us and we butt in “Hey, I’m standing right here, you know.”

      Elders — are they nice? Well, they are certainly not not nice, if you follow. They exude authority so that we respect their wisdom and advice. Other soul mates and guides serve different functions in our existence. Our personal guide is usually experienced as a being of pure love and light — that which people often encounter in a near death experience.

      I once had a between-lives regression experience which I have written about here ( http://personalityspirituality.net/2010/03/15/in-search-of-harmony-a-life-between-lives-regression/ ). I perceived my own guide as a stunning female figure with authority and love in equal measure. Then I percieved my panel of elders as no-nonsense authority figures, yet also non-judgemental and completely benign. The “leader” was a bearded wise-man type who reminded me of Leonardo as an old man.

      So, I’d say different elders emphasise different qualities as appropriate according to what we need from them.

      Hope that helps


    • Thank you so much for your response Barry. I’m understand your position and please, no apologies. your timing was great! I feel as though right now, souls are in their most challenging awakening and growth points.

      I am curious if I am “aware” and continuing to tune in for this life, do you think my next one will be oblivious? don’t we carry certain aspects with us the whole time aside from the server or whatever soul role we inherently are? In this lifetime, I cannot even imagine coming back to this earth without this connection again to all i’ve been exposed to…

      and.. do you believe in aliens? do you feel we are in an illusion? do you believe in the cabal? when i believe people chose their role in life it makes in easier to comprehend and deal with from an observational view. when in the thick of something, it helps to understand, however, it doesn’t lessen an injustice (child abuse, etc.) because it’s so physically in your face. it physically and spiritually hurts. not me, but someone else I know who was in that position as a child. I was told I this life would not be like the last and it’s been a really good life as far as lives go. 🙂 the words i heard, she’s just going to have to go through like everyone else, i feel at this stage are pertaining to where we are in a worldly, humanity fighting for it’s rights, etc. type place. i can’t say for sure but that’s my feeling.

      there’s a book we read for book club once called “My name is memory”. I loved it as the premise was that a man remembered himself and his love and found her through each lifetime, until she remembered.

      do you reincarnate with your family again? like my father? the seed planter of reincarnation, metaphysics and the one who believed me and the led the way, or my mom, my son, etc..? do they wait for us to arrive and then we reincarnate together?

      In gratitude!
      Julie. 🙂

    • Just wanted to add that when I was 4 and got my own bed, a white blue orb used to hover over the top of my canopy and I’d feel she really loved me and felt safe and she would wonder down the curtains by my bed and I’d wake up. My mum said I was dreaming and I later at 6 used to talk about my angel

    • part II —

      oh yeah.. I also knew the second, that very drop of, my son was conceived and he came to me in a playful nature in my dreams for about 2-3 weeks. playing hide and seek and I know he is a big part of my growth here on earth. huge! that kid warms my heart and spurns compassion and it makes me look at him with understanding which in my earlier years, I was a wee bit selfish during my server/held in bondage sacrificial parenting years.. LOL! if that makes any sense. some of this life seems ridiculous.. rules… people imposing their fears on others, etc. it can be freeing when you just continue on your way when you don’t participate in what they are doing…

    • Hello E Smith,

      I had an experience that put me back into my “original” perspective. Some short time ago, I felt so hopeless and useless. I researched suicide methods and felt a great deal of disappointment that the ones I would be willing to perform had a high survival rate. Along with the one with the lowest survival left enough probability of living even worse off than I was. I decided I would just attempt something on my own, out of the ordinary. I simply laid in bed and willed myself to die. I announced, without words but from the depth rooted in me, my choice to prematurely stop this existence as it was just a mistake. I felt something that I can best describe right now as a sort of somersault. Then a diagonal “pull” that left me a bit dizzy. What happened next was a feeling of opening the eyes after being closed too long. I found myself looking at a woman, just sitting there very peaceful and content. Relaxed, without worry. Very beautiful, she looked like how I visualize myself until I look in the mirror and feel disappointment, or worse a photo that captures me worse than I appear in the mirror. I demanded for an answer. A group of voices told me her purpose, which I have to keep private. I started research and was shocked to discover what they told me was something I always felt truly myself but not aware of. All my inner questions since then have been easier to seek answer too, to my surprise I already had the answer all along. A month or two after the event, I felt hopeless again. I begged to go back. To feel that peace again. When my request was approved, I returned. Only this time I was not alone. The voices revealed themselves.

      I used to find myself, since childhood (I am 36 now) in a daze and crying out “I want to go home”, then looking around and seeing I was at home. Did this often as an adult. The second time I left, I did not feel that anymore. I saw my home. It was a painting I was never able to paint. More beautiful than I could ever express. I saw my son, who is here with me now in this life, as a man wiser than me. I saw my daughter, who assures me she will return to me soon (I never had a daughter this life, not yet at least). I begged to see my true husband. There was much reluctance as he was not available and is here but completely unaware. The gave me a glimpse of him however and a name similar to what it is here, so I will know.

      I spent some time with my daughter, more beautiful than any woman I have seen. Wiser than me. We stood at the entry to our land and I held her arm like a daughter holds her mothers. How strange that my children here are guiding me I thought. I still haven’t made sense of that.

      Back to life, I started observing my son. How he is so calm and able to solve things without assistance. I tracked back and remember a time when he would ask me how to do things. I told him to guess how first then come to me if it was wrong. He never asked again. Everything he knows, he just discovers he already knew all along.

      Mr. Smith, we feel more at peace with what we come closer to. It is preparation. I just wanted to share my story so you are at ease with transition, rather than fear. Also, answers to questions closer to you arrive with more ease. Just as reading a novel, the events in the pages nearest unfold before the end of the story. That we should focus on.

      Home is an incredibly beautiful place, there are no words available here to truly describe it. There are no words needed at home, no barriers. Without barrier, expression flows freely and paints the environment more beautiful than we know of, but deeply long for. It is there. It is not what most imagine it will be, not at all actually. It is safe, beautiful, it just is. I have put thought into what is available here to best describe this. The place being one desired by our psyche. The emotions of it….Robin Williams already knew. He showed us best in the movie “What Dreams May Come”. I wonder how the writers/producers knew. Maybe this is something deeply within our collective souls. Maybe Robin Williams was involved in the production, I did not check but will soon.

      We don’t plan for vacations 50 years down the line before one that will be in the next 5 or 10 years. Maybe after a more recent trip, one thought to occur later may not be desired after all. Maybe then a return back to one taken 40 or so years prior, but with another travel partner, or a chance to experience what was not then. We pack with us what is suitable in accordance with we know in the near forecast. We evaluate what is needed with us and from us to best experience the journey. In a different land, we can be a different person. Maybe the opposite of what we live as. Or what who we dreamed to be. No wonder so many young, hopeful souls take risks for a career in acting. The most captivating are the mature souls, versatile and timeless. They express what we feel in a way we did not know how to express prior. Many leave tragically, as if it was a message in a way, a final act.

      Enjoy the things that happen next, there is beauty in everything. Be as curious as a child. Always question and especially question the unknown. We are built for that for reason. Our experiences build our soul. When the time comes for a repeat, we identify what will be different and what will be the same.

      Marilyn Monroe was famous for her beauty, but not many were/are aware she was highly intelligent,naturally. Imagine a very intelligent person behind a beautiful curtain. Most would just admire the curtain, be in a trance perhaps. Not many would be curious to see if there many be something more beautiful behind the curtain. The few who did found that. But that was few and she must have been very lonely waiting behind that curtain. I imagine she chose a different form for her next attempt, one that would not have a beautiful filter so intelligence a greater chance to perform. Maybe that person wishes for a beautiful curtain though, this time seeking adoration and love that is rewarded superficially. She’ll figure it out eventually. My point is, we mold ourselves. Whatever the mold is, just make it work when it does not. It’s an adventure far from home, making return to home all the more appreciated and sought. It is yours and all yours.

      Love, peace and joy to you. Let it be, just know will eventually see.

    • I don’t expect anyone to believe me, but I do anticipate doubt and am at ease with that. When one discovers something so profoundly moving, it is selfish to not share. It can be shared as a painting, a story…anything. Sometimes something happens within us that, through expression, awakens a talent in another. Life has a wealth of beauty thanks to sharing and expression. Should my experience gives just one person a bit of something they need, I will have pure joy. I did not find happiness until I made it available to others. The same goes for hope. What I offer is laid on the table, chose to take it or not is entirely yours.

  14. I always wondered if the things we take strong interests in like certain cultures outside our own or hobbies would be in result of our souls’ past lives.

  15. I think about all those starving children in Ethiopia and wonder why any soul would choose such a painfull living?

    • Q. Why do any of us choose the pain that we experience in life?
      A. Love.

      We all choose to tackle the many forms of suffering — experiences that are difficult, frightening, depressing, or painful. There are two basic reasons:
      (1) It prompts us to discover self-love.
      (2) It inspires others to discover love as compassion.

      We all inevitably carry darkness in various forms (ignorance, fear, hostility, selfishness etc). Yet ultimately we are all the light of love. We discover and share that light within us by responding to the darkness we see in ourselves or in others.

      Imagine the love that goes into choosing to be a starving child…

  16. i am absolutely fed up with being in the human form and after this i have no desire to be in a human body again i can not be the only one who has come to this end…it makes sence to me that this is where other species come from..from the desires and creative imaginations of those that have done the human experience and decided that it is not for them i can not be the only one who has come to this decision.i am ready to completly limit myself and fully accept whatever consequences happen beciause of this choice. Barry do you have any input on this

    • I would suggest that what you are absolutely fed up with is the specific state of your own life at present, and are placing responsibility for this onto the general fact of human existence.

      You cannot resolve the conditions of your human life by not living as a human. For instance, if you were to commit suicide then you (as an expanded consciousness, not confined to the human brain) would immediately see the bigger picture, do an ethereal face-palm, and beg to come back ASAP to “get it right this time.”

      The difficult conditions of your life are the very reason why you are here: to find within you the willingness, the power, and whatever else it takes to resolve them. You can rely on the fact that you have set it up this way for this very reason. You can also rely on the universe to give you external inspiration and assistance to help you through, if you seek it.

      You say you are ready to limit yourself, but how about being ready to un-limit yourself? You cannot gain anything by incarnating in a simpler life form. You are a divine being learning to realise and become all that you are capable of through the human experience. I heartily encourage you to rise to the challenge.


    • What makes you sure that reincarnation exists and is not a fairy tale told to those who are scared of their own fragile mortality? Naturally, science does not provide any evidence. I know that science cannot hold all the answers but equally, it surely takes a leap of faith to believe in reincarnation. How can I feel my soul now? How can I know that my conscience is not the operational behaviour of my brain and an assembly of sight, sound, emotions etc?

      Secondly, well as a different issue, if I take my conscience to be ‘me’, will I feel this ‘me’ sense when reincarnated, will I be aware that I am ‘me’, even if I lose memory of my identity as the person that I am now, and consequently the person that I would have therefore been in a previous life? I could otherwise see the soul as akin to a battery that powers life, providing the life force, but isn’t actually really ‘me’, and so when I am reincarnated, although the soul moves on, I have no idea and I really doesn’t feel like I’m there anyway?

      I have been trying to overcome my fear of death and the fragility of lives around me. Reincarnation provides greatest hope to me but one can never be sure of whether this is real or just an invented concept to appease this very fear of death.

      Sorry that there’s quite a few questions, I am just trying to deal with my fear of death and reincarnation sounds interesting even if I do not yet have all of the answers, and ergo still have some scepticism.

    • Hi George,

      They are really good questions, so I have taken my time to answer each one fully and honestly.

      What makes you sure that reincarnation exists and is not a fairy tale told to those who are scared of their own fragile mortality?

      I’m quite sure that millions of people believe in all sorts of unproven things because they are scared of their own fragile mortality. And it is perfectly reasonable to question the validity of what they believe.

      But there are also many people who quite dispassionately believe in unproven things for what they regard as perfectly sound reasons.

      If a million people believe in something purely out of fear, it doesn’t necessarily follow that what they believe cannot be true, nor that believers who are not motivated by fear must be deluded.

      My belief in reincarnation is, as far as I’m concerned, based on reason, and not motivated by anything other than my longing to understand everything. I lost my fear of death long before I wondered about reincarnation.

      I cannot say that I am certain that reincarnation exists, just as I am not certain that black holes exist, but in both cases I am persuaded that their existence makes sense, and is consistent with other things I know or believe, and is therefore worthy of my belief.

      But I’m always prepared to revise what I believe. I’m no fundamentalist.

      There are some things that I do know with certainty. It is fashionable to argue that there is no absolute truth, or at least one that is knowable, since our sense of truth is always relative or dependent upon our perspective. Yet thanks to many pivotal experiences of lucid awakening, I know for certain that there is an absolute truth and that we can directly experience it. This is because, as it turns out, we are it — we are integral to it and it is integral to us. A moment of self-realization or enlightenment is simply the absolute knowing itself consciously.

      Naturally, science does not provide any evidence. I know that science cannot hold all the answers but equally, it surely takes a leap of faith to believe in reincarnation.

      It takes a leap of faith to believe something only if you lack a reason to believe it.

      As a former reductionist-materialist-cynical-rationalist, I slowly came to believe in reincarnation, kicking and screaming, after deciding I had enough reason to do so.

      Evidence is there, if you are willing to admit it as evidence. Especially when it is within your own experience. But because so much of the evidence stems from other people’s subjective experience, any uncompromising sceptic can always dismiss their accounts as “unscientific”, “delusion”, “hearsay”, or “fantasy”.

      Interestingly, the sensation of pain is also purely subjective, but its existence taken for granted as “real” because the subjective experience is felt by almost everyone long before they become sceptical rationalists. The recall of past lives is much more uncommon, and therefore easy to dismiss by those who have no such experience.

      One might argue that pain has objective correlates in the form of brain activity. But then, many past life experiences have been found to have objective correlates. Again, it depends upon what one is willing to accept as evidence, and what one person perceives as objective correlates, another will dismiss as meaningless coincidences.

      I once saw a TV documentary on paranormal phenomena. The bias of the producers was clearly to let sceptics with letters after their names have the last word. But that led to a blatant contradiction.

      First, there was a woman who’d almost died of a heart attack during a flight across the Atlantic. When it happened, there were no doctors on board to save her. There was, however, a flight attendant who knew a bit of hypnotherapy. So, according to the lady, she survived the coronary through guided mental relaxation and visualisation. But then the sceptics came on to explain that both the lady and the flight attendant were deluding themselves. This was obviously so because, according to science, mere thoughts simply cannot affect our physical bodies like that.

      The next report was about a man who, every Easter, would spontaneously bleed from wounds in his head, like those of Christ from the crown of thorns. The sceptics explained that the man was deluded. The bleeding was obviously due to his unconscious desire to share Christ’s pain — because, after all, scientists have long known that our minds can have very powerful effects on our physical bodies.

      There is no way around a non-believer’s recourse to doubt, which is why I decided long ago never to try to persuade sceptics to believe what I have come to believe. I am not out to convince anyone that reincarnation is real. My goal is to gather good information about it and pass that on to anyone for whom such information holds value.

      How can I feel my soul now? How can I know that my conscience is not the operational behaviour of my brain and an assembly of sight, sound, emotions etc?

      I wonder if by “conscience” you mean “consciousness” — two very different things.

      Your brain is busily assembling the sights, sounds and emotions that make up the moment-by-moment content of your consciousness. You might identify with some of that content and call it “me”, but you are not any of that.

      Behind all the complicated physical, biological, and psychological stuff that you might perceive as you, the real you is much simpler: the immediate presence of Truth.

      You cannot feel your soul in the same way that your eyeball cannot see itself. You ARE that which people call soul, spirit, essence, the Self, the absolute, the Tao. It is possible to directly experience this profound truth through various techniques.

      Even your consciousness isn’t you as such, but is an attribute of the essence of you. Your consciousness is what evolves through myriad experiences, perspectives, and choices, but the very essence of you — the absolute itself — is changeless.

      …if I take my conscience to be ‘me’, will I feel this ‘me’ sense when reincarnated, will I be aware that I am ‘me’, even if I lose memory of my identity as the person that I am now, and consequently the person that I would have therefore been in a previous life?

      You will have a ‘me’ sense, but it won’t be the same. Your current ‘me’ sense is, I imagine, very much based on various contents of your conscious self-awareness – your body sensations, your physical appearance, your abilities, your name, your childhood experiences, your personal memories, your beliefs and values, your assessments of how you compare with other people…

      Again, these contents are not the ultimate you, but are various reflections and manifestations of your present mode of existence as a human individual. In other words, right now you are identified with being George.

      Right after you die, however, you will go through a process of dis-identifying from George. Your immediate experience at death will be of coming out of the George-body, and a short while after that you will expand out of that familiar sense of self and remember/recover the totality of you as a majestic presence, both emanating and bathed in eternal love and peace.

      After a while, this real you will decide it’s time for a bit more consciousness-evolution, and you will prepare yourself to dive into another human life. When you do so, you will set aside your expanded self-knowing and become immersed in the sensations and other sensory input of an infant body — possibly with a change of gender, possibly in some new culture.

      As you focus on this new life experience, you will also develop a new ‘me’ sense in which you completely identify with that body/person. You could be, say, Mary from Ohio. And for at least the first decade or two, you will almost certainly take it for granted that Mary from Ohio is exactly who you are.

      But there may come a point in that life, just as there has in this one, at which you think to yourself, “Is this really who I am? Am I really defined by my body and mind and personality? What if there is more to reality than I’ve been assuming?”

      I could otherwise see the soul as akin to a battery that powers life, providing the life force, but isn’t actually really ‘me’, and so when I am reincarnated, although the soul moves on, I have no idea and I really doesn’t feel like I’m there anyway?

      You will always feel like you are there. It’s impossible for you not to, except when unconscious. It’s just that you won’t think of yourself as George, and so you won’t be thinking “I, George, am still here.” But you will be thinking “I am here.”

      As you begin your next incarnation, you will certainly lose sight of having once been George, and you will almost certainly lose the expanded awareness of your spiritual nature (though some occasionally retain a vestige of it).

      The soul isn’t an impersonal object, by the way, like a battery or power generator; it’s a very personal subject. More precisely, it’s the ultimate trans-personal you.

      I have been trying to overcome my fear of death and the fragility of lives around me. Reincarnation provides greatest hope to me but one can never be sure of whether this is real or just an invented concept to appease this very fear of death.

      This fear of death is a symptom of being wholly identified with your life story as George, a story that must come to an end at some point. But I would like to encourage you not to buy into a belief in reincarnation just as a remedy for that fear. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with doing so, but a far more satisfying option is to lose the fear of death altogether by probing your true nature, seeking the innermost truth of who and what you really are.

      Sorry that there’s quite a few questions, I am just trying to deal with my fear of death and reincarnation sounds interesting even if I do not yet have all of the answers, and ergo still have some scepticism.

      Scepticism is fine, when used positively. It helps us put new ideas to the test by asking the right questions. When used negatively, it stops us asking questions by assuming we already have all the answers.

      At the age of 20 I was negatively sceptical. In fact, I was a know-it-all. I scoffed at religious people for holding beliefs that I regarded as irrational nonsense, such as believing in an afterlife for immortal souls. I smugly assumed that they held onto those beliefs out of a fear of death. I, on the other hand, was cool and rational. Having thought it through, I had concluded that life – and therefore death – had no actual meaning. Clever me.

      By my late 20s I had discovered a bit of humility, enough to get me to start asking my own questions rather than just laugh at other people’s answers.

      It was the question “Who am I?”, which I contemplated for three days on something called an Enlightenment Intensive, that started giving me real answers.

    • Thank you for your answers. I appreciate the time that you took to write the reply. I think part of my difficulty is that I’m almost looking for definitive proof where none yet exists. I’m reading counter arguments between scientists & theists, as that the right word for those who believe in an after life? And so although I believe there is something & almost have future views to imagine the setting, I can never be 100% convinced until the day that I die. When that moment arrives, either I won’t know about it at all, or I’ll realise that I had nothing to fear all along.

      Thanks again and best wishes to you for your reply. 🙂

    • Just want to leave a personal response to one of George’s questions:

      “What makes you sure that reincarnation exists and is not a fairy tale told to those who are scared of their own fragile mortality?”

      I’ve never been afraid of my mortality. As a teenager I was both deeply depressed, and a firm atheist. The idea of reincarnation was the very opposite of reassuring – it was more like a nightmare. I found the thought that death would be the end, a nothingness, that I would cease to exist, comforting (and something I longed for).

      I slowly began to believe in reincarnation, but felt pretty damn pissed off and resentful about it. I mention this simply because so many people assume reincarnation is a comforting notion that makes us feel better, when personally I spent many many years hoping that reincarnation wasn’t true!

  17. Hi i have a random question. Is it possible for a soul to forget that it’s being reincarnated while it’s in the human form? But as the time goes by, the memories come back piece by piece. The soul begins to be slightly aware about it. Is that possible? Sorry if the question is confusing. Thank you.

    • If I understand right, you’re asking if we can sometimes gradually remember stuff from previous lives? Yes, absolutely.

      It’s now well documented that young children (2 and up) who died a traumatic death in the last life sometimes remember it, and may have nightmares about it, up to the age of about 7. After that, they are usually just too involved with the present life/personality for those experiences to surface.

      But even then, past life memories can “leak” into our present consciousness when something in our present life has a strong emotional or karmic resonance with a past life. For example, I’ve had various snippets of past-life recall while dreaming or in meditation.

      Older souls tend to have greater recall than younger souls.

      Hope that answers your question, but do get back if not.


  18. Hi barry. My name is Nick.I am 25. I am curious about what type of soul i have? is there any way to tell. Throughout my life i have been told i have been doing nothing and wasting my life. All i do is play adventure games,make excuses, and try to analyze everything, i often come up with several ideas about life in many studies like psychology, sociology and philosophy. I dont have a job and see no reason to get one. I know they dont understand me. That doesn’t bother me that much but i often wonder how will i live with out an income? lol. I understand life shouldn’t revolve around money and material things. Of which i often also look at as confusing. I often ask why people dont understand we can just live peacefully with each other with out the fighting/war and all the negative things out there. Another question is and i hope you can answer this. Is there any way for my self to fix my life.Or do you think that im (weirdly) on the right path?
    Thank you, with much love

    • Hi Nick,

      It’s hard for me to say based on that, as there are all sorts of possibilities, e.g.: an old soul who doesn’t like materialism, or a mature soul who is too overwhelmed to take on adult responsibilities, or maybe a personality with the goal of flow/contentment and no great will to get busy.

      I recommend you get a reading from one of the Michael channels. See:


      Hope this helps,


  19. Many thanks for the above, most of it seemed very logical. The question that troubles me so much is….Will I see my children again and will they know it’s me. Same question for my animals? Physically or spiritually. Kind regards,

    Margaret Berry.

    • 🙂 Certainly you will see and recognise each other between lives. The only time we generally fail to recognise one another is while incarnate.

      Note that your children in this life aren’t “your children” at the soul level, in the bigger scheme of things. But when you first see them right after this life they will present themselves to you in the most recognisable form, i.e. as your children as you remember them.



  20. I always believe that the sign of light is death and birth at the same time , people say they see the light with near death events and the first thing a child sees is bright light , I also believe that if u where born a male u will come back as a male, hence the spirts in a undecided way of whichpath to chose from after death , when they do become vvisible to humans we can tell if its a male or female hence the reason why I say we come back as what we was , I also feel that’s why there is a lot of gays as depends on how many births to deaths there is and also how many females and males are born in that day ,please don’t take what I say in a bad way about gay people has I have nothing against any form of love but I believe if a lot of males do die and only affew males are being born I feel that the male would could take a female body then that would make that female have more male aspects about themselves , like I said its my theory and we could get to deep in this conversation , I would really love to come back as I believe that the soul the energy we do have is so powerful that I can not seeing just ending like that . the human body is to me a teleport from one life to another .

  21. Hi Barry,
    I don’t EVER want to come back as a murderer or similar, could this happen if I sincerely don’t want it?

    • If you don’t want to do something, and there is no compelling reason for you to do it, then nothing can make you.

      People sometimes choose to be murderers as a two-way soul lesson: “I’ll murder you in this life, then you murder me in the next.” I would guess you’ve done that one some time ago.

  22. Barry, I m so much depressed and in pain because failure in love , i dont want to marry anyone and I decided to end my life and wanted to reincarnate and want to live with my loved one in this life in my next life atleast . Pls tell me if this will happen if I die

    • Hi mala/anonymous

      I am sorry to hear about your depression. But I’m afraid suicide won’t solve it. You will just reincarnate as a depressed little child, with no memory of what it’s about.

      The problem is not that you are unable to be with the one person you so want to be with. The problem is that you have identified one and only one person to be with, and you have invested the whole meaning or value of your existence into that one possible relationship.

      We live in a universe whose very basis is the potential for love between all beings. You are demanding something far too specific from the universe by defining the one and only relationship that means “love” to you.

      One can know perfect love with one person or with several people, with adults and/or children, with friends, colleagues, clients, even perfect strangers. You can know perfect love with someone for three seconds and feel satisfied for the rest of your life.

      Or you can spend your entire life searching for the “Mr Right” of your dreams who just never seems to show up.

      Why set limitations on the appearance of love, when love sets no such limitations upon itself?

      One of our very reasons for being is to give and receive love with others. Some unfortunate people imagine that this can only manifest in the form of a picture-perfect marriage with a certain individual, but love comes in infinite varieties and it can always find a way to us, at any moment of life, if we just let it.

      Clearly you believe in reincarnation, so here is another thing you might want to reflect upon. You purposely designed this life before you were born. All the people who have meant something to you in this life so far, as well as others who have yet to show up, were there with you in the planning process, making all the necessary arrangements and agreements. One of them, I suspect, agreed to come into your life with the appearance of being your ideal marriage partner, and also agreed to then go and marry someone else, leaving you distraught. Why? Precisely so that you will face this crisis and hopefully let go of the idea that “there’s only one love for me.”

      It’s up to you to remove these scales from your eyes, and I sincerely hope you find the strength within you to do so.


  23. So, when it comes to choice…. I am a child-free woman. I have no desire to want, have, or be around children. When this lifetime is done, can I choose to be another Child-free woman? It’s just the idea of motherhood never interested me, I don’t have time or patience to raise a child, and the thought of pregnancy scares me. So, is it possible that when I am gone from this earth…will I be able to live again as a child-free woman? I just want to be able to feel comfortable in my next life. Sorry, I hope this doesn’t sound stupid or anything….it’s just, I’m 24, had a bad childhood, had abusive people in my life, never got to do what I wanted, and all that, I just….well…I want to live again, but in a better lifetime.

    • Hi,

      Life is all about choice. We choose to be here in order to learn how to choose for ourselves, and to learn from the consequences of our choices.

      That said, when you write “I don’t have time or patience to raise a child,” you make it sound as though that applied to your soul across eternity, whereas it just applies to your current life and even perhaps just in this current phase of life. You are absolutely free to make that choice now or in any life. From a growth point of view, however, you might want to take a closer look at your attitudes to time, as your wording hints at a chief feature of impatience and the fear of running out of time to make the most out of your chosen lifestyle. Being comfortable in your next life may not necessarily be dependent upon absence of child-rearing possibilities. I’m not suggesting that child rearing is in any way preferable than not doing do; it’s entirely a matter of choice. I’m just highlighting the factors that might be affecting your choice without your conscious awareness, if that makes sense.


  24. Re:
    “Another soul will then agree, out of love, to be the mother who abandons this soul in childhood.”

    Does this also apply to other wrongdoing? Are you saying, for instance, that a thief or a poisoner “agreed, out of love” to do that to people? Would you say that Hitler, for example, designed a system to murder millions “out of love”?

    • Yes and no. There are different ways in which what you call “wrongdoing” plays out.

      One the one hand, there are some really intense relationship experiences which we plan to do (pre-life), deliberately, jointly, for the benefit of our mutual growth. They are like very heavy games.

      For example, “I’ll be your murderer in this life and you can be be mine in the next one.”

      Or, “Let’s play that good-karma game where one of us is destitute and the other is a benefactor, and then we can reverse the roles in the next life.”

      Or, “Let’s see how we cope with the tragedy of losing a child. I’ll be your child in this life, who suddenly dies at the age of 7, say, and you can be mine in the next.”

      We do this stuff with soul mates we know intimately well so that we can learn and grow together. Experiences of sorrow bring out the depths of love we may not have known we had, but we will never again lose.

      This is how we evolve: we choose to know from own own voluntary experiences what it like to be both a victim and a perpetrator, so that we can understand both sides of the equation. It’s not simply that a perpetrator is a bad person. It’s never as simple as that, and that is one of the great lessons. Perpetrators act out of all kinds of reasons and motives, usually a lack of empathy. Our blind heartlessness towards one another is awful, but it is precisely this that eventually stimulates us to find and open our hearts.

      At some point each soul eventually gets that it own actions can cause others’ suffering, if done out of ego or fear or ignorance. And also that such suffering is unnecessary and can be avoided by acting out of empathy, acceptance, and understanding.

      Each soul also eventually gets that its own actions can even cause others to experience joy or freedom or relief. Some get this quicker than others.

      Now, a relatively immature but highly driven soul like that of Hitler can come into life with a passion to change the world “for the better” as he understands it, given the limitations of awareness. The passion behind the pre-life plan is love — in his case, the love of order, greatness, and unity of purpose, for example. But the consciousness of that soul (and many others around it) does not have the wisdom to understand that imposing order through fear, destruction, terror, torment, genocide and horror is an utter contradiction of the meaning of life. Hitler and his supporters designed a system to create, in their eyes, a worthy goal. But they lacked the empathy and sensitivity for other beings that only comes with evolution. Some courageous souls participated in the “drama” to show how inflicting order through horror is a complete contradiction of what life is about. A huge great lesson was created, though not necessarily learned all at once. Some souls demonstrated love in the midst of horror. Some just experienced horror and need to rediscover love in the context of human society and especially social power.

    • Hitler never developed a system to murder millions that is all propaganda by the Allies the same people who are murdering millions now through GMO, war, debt etc.
      AH loved Germany more than any leader today loves their own country!

      • [This is the personality & spirituality department. You’ll find the advanced historical scholarship department further down the corridor on the far right… B]
  25. Actually it’s clear my doubt also that soul does not reincarnate instantly..because i have read two reincarnation story in wikepedia about SHANTI DEVI and ANNA FRANK.

    In the story of shantidevi her next reincarnation happend after 1 years but in Anna frank story it took 10 year for reincarnation..

    Very good information! thank you!

  26. Hi Barry, There are many questions to your supposedly extensive understanding of the belief in reincarnation. There is also quite a gamut of challenges to the whole concept / proof of reincarnation.
    First and foremost :
    If the consciousness (soul) of one’s existence can move from body to body automatically, why is everyone’s consciousness (soul) is not conscious to tell about his/her past life as an everyday routine as soon as they can talk or share memories? Everyone should be so imbued with the memory of their past life. N.B. There is absolutely no such experience as reincarnation.

    There is another aspect of Spiritual existence which has completely evaded your and the belief in reincarnation viz. the realm of the Spirit world of demonic activities and its influence (deception) of all who ignore its existence. The impact of that world has also evaded the gullible multitudes which either do not believe in its existence or are already deceived by the control it has over their understanding. It is the influence or possession of many which explains the knowledge of past lives. These demons know all everything of those they control during their lifetime. it is therefore very easy for them to influence/control kids and even adults who are oblivious of their control. The fact is it is they who move from body to body, recounting past lives to the mesmerized gullible witnesses, Even the various researchers into the so-called phenomenon of reincarnation.


    Despite the thousands interviewed by Researchers, only one man gave
    a detailed conscious experience account of how he entered another body, blowing away the theory of movement of Soul from body to body. here is the account of a Demon (spirit) in the personage of a man telling the step by step move to enter the body of a man. this in a nutshell (fact or fiction) is the account of Lobsang Rampa in one of his books the ‘Third Eye’ if I remembered correctly when he was out of a body and went and entered the body of a ‘just dead’ Irishman. We can conclude that the consciousness behind all the Lobsang Rampa books if the Spirit which possessed the Irishman’s body. That was/is not reincarnation.

    • Seopaul, if I may, I’d like to respond to your three points…

      1) When we are born we suffer a type of spiritual amnesia. We do not, generally, remember our past lives as this would often hinder our progress in this new life. We come in with a clean slate, for the most part. Many children, though, do – for the first few years of their lives – remember their most recent past life. This fades as they age and become fully immersed in their new body & new life. To note, our souls – higher consciousness/subconscious – remember all of our past lives, though, even when we are incarnate in a present life and that is all we, consciously, know.

      2) I don’t think that a belief in past lives negates the fact that there is a realm on the other side that is “demonic” or has dark entities that exist within it, or that these entities can sometimes interact with us on Earth. That said, I am curious what makes you think demons are to blame for people “believing” in past lives. What would be the purpose of these demons to make people believe this way? Purely negative energies tend to like chaos and to destroy, but those who believe in past lives usually have extremely positive experiences remembering them and are often greatly helped with a present-life issue by realizing it came from a past life occurrence.

      3) I agree with you that what you read Lobsang Rampa describing was not reincarnation. Being able to leave the body at will (and to inhabit another body), astral travel, etc. are all completely different things.

      I’d love to hear your responses/thoughts. Cheers.

    • Shanna…Please explain more between Astral travel and reincarnation? Also I am listening to binary beats while I sleep and I get the feeling that my dreams are how I “astral travel” is this true in your experience?


    • Amali,

      Namaste, and thank you for asking my take on things.

      Personally, I believe reincarnation to be when the soul actually reincarnates into a new body and new life after the old one has died and often, not always, after a brief respite on “the other side”.

      This generally happens through death/birth, but I have a theory (that I’ve never read of anywhere else) where this *could* happen in an adult body, but it’s very rare and it doesn’t happen between two living people (I feel this takes place between a soul presently “over there” and one that is incarnate & that they swap).

      However, astral travel is, simply, when a soul leaves the physical body for a time but is still connected to it and returns to it. Some people can do this at will. For me, I’ve learned to know the the things that can trigger it to happen (sleeping on my back, if I’m exhausted when I attempt to go to sleep, etc.). I find that it happens most often in that strange, in-between stage just before actually falling fully asleep (when you’re kind of still a little bit awake). They call it lucid dreaming, among other things. Of course, with practice and for some people, just naturally, you can astral without needing sleep and through things such as deep meditation.

      I’ve read, and do believe, that the soul travels in its astral form every time we sleep, though we are not consciously aware of it. I think that some dreams are, in fact, not simply dreams but actual visits/travels.

      This is all just my personal beliefs/experience, but I hope it gives you some ideas/insight. I am sure that listening to the beats helps cultivate more vivid astral travel, and you may be able to remember more of it. I find that keeping a dream journal has helped me learn the difference between dreams of the mind/subconscious and actual travel/visits.

      Email me anytime if you’d like to discuss further. Reincarnation and astral travel, lucid dreaming, etc. are all subject that fascinate me & I am always seeking to learn (remember) more about them.

    • I agree with you i had such experiences sometimes i had a feeling of acceleration of mind with strange sound not know what it was.
      I also had to deal with some demons they come from the other side of the moon and i m sure there is something, i with my brother was paralyzed in bed by them and we could not move after i begin to pray they banish away then we woke both with remembering this strange experience i not remember to see them but i felt their negative presence, sounds crazy but i know it was real.

  27. This was gret information.

    A question is bothering from long, Does a soul can tack rebirth more then 500 lifetimes?

    • As far as I know, souls (like us) who are evolving in human form require approximately 100-200 lives. But the figure will depend on the longevity of human beings. In past ages, when the average human life expectancy was (e.g.) approximately 25 years, then I guess it would take many more human lifetimes to complete each lesson/level, POSSIBLY 500+ in total, but that’s just a speculation.

  28. I agree with most of the things listed about reïncarnation. I haven’t read the comments of others so if I say something which has been said by another than I apologize. (I’m not English, sorry for bad language)
    But I have to clear the next thing ;
    It is a fact that the soul is not in a human body to learn. The soul learns in the +/- 300 years while surfing through the universe to go in to another human body. The soul will learn always something in the time when it is in a human body but that’s not enough to mention. The soul is only steering the brain so whe can do what we do and trough the reïncarnation proces it becomes more acknowledge with the meaning of everything and by that the soul is more capable of steering the brain in the right direction and let the human being be more and more capable of teaching others how everything works. So the body is more some kind of tool for the soul to use while on earth and with the experiance of that period in a human body. It learns while surfing trough the universe for about a 300 years unless your almost finished with the learning process and teaching process on earth than it can be that your last reïncarnation is shorter than the +/- 300 years.
    While you’re in you’re last human body you are almost fully know how everyrthing works and the meaning of everything …. Almost cause we are not a God. You’re last time is to guide others in you’re life time, people call those people “lightworkers” / “New age” or “indigo” childs.

    I hope I could make my point clear cause I’m not that good with English.
    Thanks for reading.


  29. The “new age” (for want of a better term) view of reincarnation presented here; that it’s a deliberate process of growth which we choose to go through, is very comforting to me. I much prefer it to what Ken Wilber calls the “merely ascending” view of certain Eastern teachings that we are trapped in suffering samsara and need to escape. The founder of the Hare Krishnas, for example, said that this material world is “a prison house, a punishing place, home of suffering and pain only” – designed to make us so miserable we long for liberation.

    Instead, these teachings give a deeper meaning to life – it’s not just a random accident, yet they value this life as a unique experience which we should cherish. This life will be gone all too quickly, yet each day there is some special joy and some good choice we can make. That is so much healthier than to dislike this world and long to escape!

  30. At the end of #9 you said”In spirit the whole path is clear to us and we know exactly what we are doing.” Last friday June 16, 2015 I was between awake and sleep and I heard a voice it said ” It’s all clear”, thanks to you I understand what that means in my life at this very time. God does work in mysterious ways. Hallelujah!

  31. Hi, I wondered how you’d explain souls that act as mediums in their current incarnation? Would this be an old soul? You’re thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Great articles BTW.

    • Hi Rebecca

      I think it’s just a matter of choice at any stage. In theory, anyone can go into a light or deep trance and make their speaking/writing mechanisms available to other souls. And I believe anyone could, pre-life or in-life, choose or agree to focus on being or becoming a psychic, medium or channel, and possibly develop that over several lives as a talent, just as one can focus on, say, dancing or architecture.

      Soul age will, however, affect how the medium operates and comes across to others. (I’m assuming that ‘medium’ could also mean ‘channel’ — i.e. not just those accessing ‘dead people’ but also those accessing higher guides.)

      One of the greatest known mediums/channels, Edgar Cayce, is believed to have been a Baby Priest. As a conventional Christian, he struggled with the unconventionality of the stuff he came out with while in deep trance. He appears to have returned as David Wilcock — a conventional New Age conspiracy theorist, one might say. I don’t think he’s kept up the channeling in this life, however.

      Many “celebrity mediums” or “TV psychics” are obviously Young Souls. Some are genuine, I believe, but with a fair amount of ego in the mix. They like to prove themselves better than other famous psychics. The more novel and “spectacular” the information they put out, the better for their career. Older souls can find it hard to take them seriously, or to trust their information.

      Mature soul mediums will tend to be very earnest as well as self-questioning — I suspect Esther Hicks is a Mature soul who is channeling the ‘Abraham’ group.

      Old souls tend to be more at ease with it. Pat Rodegast, who channeled ‘Emmanuel’, springs to mind.

      As a rule, I would say that to access a higher intelligence such Michael or Seth or Christ Consciousness, younger souls need to be in a deep trance (to bypass the conscious mind altogether), while older souls could do so in a lighter trance.

      Hope that makes sense!

  32. Hello Barry,

    What happens once the process of reincarnation ends for a particular soul? You mentioned that we are not attached to constant cycle of births and deaths as various teachings suggest, but I couldn’t understand that once the soul’s objective of getting the whole experience through the physical form by having multiple births and deaths is completed, what’s there left for the soul to look for?

    On another note I would also like to ask that what insights you can share on the number of souls that exist in this universe? Is there a fixed or defined number of souls? I am asking this as historically the world population has always been on the rise since humans started to inhabit this planet, so does this rise in human population will ever stop? or would continue to happen unabated? This interest me because every human is a separate soul and this has a direct relation with the number of souls that actually exist or should we believe that the All Mighty is the one who is manufacturing the souls?? I would really love to know your thoughts. Thanks.

  33. Hi barry
    I’m an avid follower of this page and have posted many a query.
    I’m 29. I’ve been posting here for years as although not in my religion the concept of reincarnation really resonated and I found this website and have since researched Sufism, Buddhism etc.
    So my faith feels broken and I think it’s because of the situation im in. I come from a family of open minded tolerant people and as an introvert I’ve been allowed to grow how I want.
    Been married over a year now and I posyed before about the strange serendipitous way in which we met and at the exact right time.
    Once I married him his family have changed. I would describe it as bullying, controlling, his father especially seeks ownership of me.
    He told me his more important than my deAd father. They’re are a family of 12, and it’s 41 with spouses and kids, extroverted and so loud to the point they shout. It she’ll shocked me at first, and I tried to make a niche for myself. My husbands sisters have humiliated me, made fun of my appearance and his dad is the worst. Shouting and screaming at me swearing at my family in front of everyone for not attending a wedding due to my dads anniversary. I’ve been made to skivvy.
    Surrounded by such hostility and negativity I kept breaking down and my husband was shocked at te change in me and at their savage behaviour and he told me to return to my family to recuperate. We are in another city.
    I feel like I have PTsd as his dad is trying his utmost best to divorce us. My husband is looking for a flat for us.
    I feel chased away from the life i held dear. It’s all very well looking for answers like reincarnation but why on earth would I have preplanned this. I wish I had never met them and no matter how much I forgive them and try and be nice they deliberately pick things so I realised nkthing I do will ever change them. I don’t know why I am so abhorrent and why the patriarch – a man who should be full of the wisdom of his years has cultivated a court of slandering/gossiping/nastiness/toxic zone and why he is so intent on me bowing to him. When I told him I’m made fun of when I visit by his family e said I can’t make people like you but you have to come and you have to serve us.
    When I referred to my dad once he said im your dad now and I’m more important than that man so you should learn respect.
    I’ve told my husband I never want to see them again but in my culture this makes me evil for splitting the family.
    My husband overheard his brother laughing abojt how they scared me away to his wife and is distraught. I think they may all be different types of soul.
    Sorry I seem to have lost my question but I just feel like this has bought out the worst in me and I’m not a nice person due to the anger I have in me all the time now. I stayed polite to them but I actually feel like hitting them. I just really want to feel more spiritual again and now I’m having to in my head address the unjustness of how Ive been treated and the cultural norms society dictates because they are pants

  34. When someone transitions into nonphysical is there a period of time where you are not able to or it’s more difficult to communicate with them? It’s been a few weeks since my partner transitioned & although psychic mediums have been able to communicate (relay the love he had & still has for me), I cannot feel his presence or his energy. I’m not able to recall dreams but I wake up knowing I’ve dreamt; I have very fitful & restless sleeps even though I’m going to sleep with the intention of receiving communication from him. I know that life is eternal so I want to understand our soul connection, the purpose of this life together, past & present lives, etc. If I was able to meditate could I communicate with him in that way?

  35. Julie me neither. The thing is unlike you I wouldnt say I am psychic or sensitive sadly, however I do possess an almost photogenic memory where I can recite or recall events from whenever. It would creeps people out when I will say I knew them when we were kids and then proceed to tell them their life history which I can remember word for word, and this “dream” I can remember vividly but I don’t remember conversations just an understanding it was my friend and that it wasn’t allowed to come into by bed and talk to me. I often felt lonely without it.
    I also have read my name is memory and my already big interest in the concept of reincarnation grew so much and that’s how I ended up on this page :):)

  36. I just loved reading this, it has made me feel at ease about dying. The only sad thing is I shall hate not seeing my husband again as I love him so very much & am so lucky we found each other a bit later in life, but I’m very grateful I got given this wonderful chance of happiness.

    • HopE will find mine also . Cause that’s a very beautiful comment . It’s sad that it comes at later stage of life . But that’s better than nothing .

      Can imagine how beautiful to meet the right person at early stage and grow together

  37. Hi Barry,
    Thought I would throw a question your easy and get your opinion. I can honestly say I woke one day with enlightenment. It was not necessarily something I sought ; one day it just WAS. That being said, I am attempting to find others who “know” what I “know”. As reincarnated beings, I believe our souls are completely genderless. That brings up a question about “so-called” homosexuality. Could it be just that souls (ones that don’t remember their origin) have spent more lifetimes in a particular body style and are therefore more comfortable with those traits? For instance: perhaps I have spent my last 10 lives in a male body, this time around my soul is housed in a female body. Is it not possible then, (not realizing at this point, the karmic plan) that I would have male tendencies and attractions and that because, by the world’s standards, that would make me “gay”, I am then possibly conditioned to believe this? There is no “gay” if we are truly genderless. Just mankind narrow-minded view. What do you think?

    • I had actually asked a question about how trans people fit into it a while back. I haven’t seen an answer, but I think it’s part of the challenges we choose to face and also a way to teach others acceptance.

    • Yes that is true souls are not male or female, as Barry reply me once that no mater what body have, souls come to experience different types of joy through their bodies.
      But from my point of view gay,lesbians,travestit people behavior is a manipulation from behind of a group of people with their own interests this why there is allot of propaganda about this and the result is a degradation which will end how it ended in the bible, someone is trying to build the babylon which at the end will crash i m sure.
      Everyone is free to choose how they want to live my advice live as it is given by nature with a female body which is created to give birth to new life not destroy it.

  38. The existence of severe poverty, ignorance, congenital disease, violence, human suffering, and onward makes me wonder why a soul would choose a life such as this. Viewing human existence in this context begs the question as to why one soul gets more fulfilling outcomes in life and another so very little of spiritual growth.

    • It actually explains exactly that in the article.
      For instance: you live one life as a kid in severe poverty, and in the next life you are drawn to help kids in severe poverty cause you “know how they feel”.

  39. Interesting website.
    I would strongly caution, however, on writing from a place of so-called authority. It is very wrong (Spiritually) to say you know something definitely, as there are some that may take you at your word. That could hurt them spiritually. For example: “Contrary to certain teachings, we are not tied to a wheel of endless death and rebirth, to be saved only by renouncing the world and seeking spiritual liberation. The whole journey of evolving through reincarnation begins with us at a certain level and ends once we reach another level. It takes (typically) well over 100 lifetimes.”
    This is a very crude and ill-advised statement to make. I, on one hand, wholly disagree with you 100%. But the most important thing is you could hurt someone by making such a statement. This is where people who teach New-age philosophies tend to hurt people. Making bold and (possibly) incorrect statements.

    • I get what you’re saying. But. This isn’t really what the page is about. Barry doesn’t expect anyone to follow him nor does he lay down a strict code. For example any experiences we readers have had are considered in an open way by him. His statement is interpret by me as that we should open our eyes and just see the endless possibilities that surround us. If you look through his othrr posts it should hopefully make a little more sense.
      No one compels me to be here but I like most others here came in search of answers and to learn about reincarnation as I have always found it a fascinating topic.
      I look at alot of pages and given the amount barry interacts with people here I would say very confidently I can trust him.

    • Hi Heather,

      Your comment has nudged me to reflect on the way I’ve written this article.

      I respect your feedback, as one of my pet peeves is the way many spiritual writers make statements that are expected to be taken as “gospel truth” without ever addressing the fact that others have made very different statements with equal certainty.

      However, I do not see how such assertions could “hurt” anyone spiritually. I think deliberate lies, misinformation and deceit can be abusive; but as for writings that are offered in good faith as truthful but which may turn out to be invalid — whether such writings are on spiritual principles, scientific theories, political arguments, or celebrity gossip — I think these are just the building blocks of normal discourse.

      In the course of my own life I have come across many, many writings (spiritual, philosophical, historical, and scientific) which had been offered as “truth” but which I now believe to be falsehoods, bad ideas, or misguided beliefs. I do not, however, believe that I have ever been hurt as a result. In fact, I believe that I have grown as a result by recognising the importance of validating others’ offerings for myself.

      Sara is quite correct in that I don’t expect anyone to believe any of this. My aim is not to persuade anyone that reincarnation or whatever is “truth” but to compile and share what has struck me as valid and useful information about it for those who are interested. I will, however, review the tone of this piece.



    • I’m sorry you observe this in a negative context. I don’t believe Barry is claiming any authority over anything. I believe he created this website out of a genuine compassion and love for humanity and wishes to share with and help others to explore their own humanity and lives as souls. He is by no means an authoritative human being.

  40. I thoroughly enjoy reading all the comments/questions and your responses to them. Very enlightening website. Thank you for being here

  41. Some questions.
    My best friend was involved in a relationship with an unpleasant Young man, but she couldn’t see how much he manipulated her and they seemed really desperate in holding onto each other (her more so than him, he liked to tell their friends she was deluded and they were only friends etc)
    He then got married out of the blue and was incredibly cruel to my friend, and not only so invited his new wife to abuse her too on the the phone. None of us talk to him, and she has after several years of deep depression finally began dating and is happy.
    She seems to have a creepy 6th sense when it comes to him and his wife though, like the hair raises on her neck and she immediately says he or she’s here and lo and behold they usually does be in the vicinity.
    I don’t think my friend stalks they (I actually had to ask her though as she was really cut up over the break up and did obsess about the two for a while)
    It’s more matter of fact, like “oh, here she is again”

    I just wondered whether they had some sort of karmic bond any of them? As its unlike anything I know

    Second, how did this theory fit in with the theory of evolution if it does at all?
    Thanks 🙂

    • Hi Sara

      1. So if I understand correctly, your friend was very attached to a guy who mistreated her, initially behind her back, but then to her face after he married someone else. I’m not sure when this was, but you say that she is now better after several years of depression (presumably following all that). And your friend seems to intuitively know when he (and/or his wife?) are approaching.

      It’s impossible for me to give THE answer to what is going on here, but I can speculate. The fact that she can pick up on his presence indicates a closeness between them at the soul level, i.e. it’s possible that they are soul mates of some sort. That might seem odd given the negativity going on, but we do often set up “negative” relationship agreements with some of our closest soul mates, and we can also get into karmic disagreements that have to be worked out.

      Relationship agreements – It’s like two friends agreeing to fight each other in an online game, though while they are playing they are not conscious of their usual friendship. For example, a joint plan could be something like: “you be my abuser in this life, and I’ll be your abuser in the next.” Soul mates agree to do many kinds of reciprocating relationships – some “nice”, some “difficult”. This is one of our most common learning tools. Typical scenarios are: Master/Servant, Attacker/Victim, Healer/Healed, Rescuer/Rescued, Artist/Patron…

      Karmic disagreements – Soul mates can create karma between them if one, during their life together, violates the free will of the other. Unlike agreements, karmic events are not specifically planned — but they are very inevitable. So if I selfishly abandon you as a child in one life, I will undergo the same experience “on the receiving end” in a future life (not out of punishment, but as a means to grow whole together).

      So those are some possibilities – either an agreement to play out some victimisation scenario, or a karmic pendulum swinging.

      Once the agreement or karma has been worked out, then it’s over and there is no need to revisit it. There will be an intuitive sense of closure while incarnate, and of course complete recognition of the whole bigger picture once both are discarnate.

      2. Theory of evolution and theory of reincarnation. Evolution is exactly what the Tao/Source/All-That-Is does, and will do forever more. Evolution in the sense of constantly changing, finding new niches, new ways of being. From a spiritual perspective, the Tao is evolving in several ways –
      – the physical evolution of the universe
      – the biological evolution of species
      – the conscious evolution of souls
      It’s all the same Life Force exploring myriad ways of evolving — some more consciously than others. Reincarnation is a way to develop self-awareness as an individual being, so reincarnation serves the evolution of consciousness.

      Hope that makes some kind of sense!

  42. I don’t know how old this is so I don’t know if you’ll even see this comment, but I have a question about transgender individuals. If as a soul, you get to choose your gender, then transgender people shouldn’t exist, right? Basically what I’m saying is that I have a theory. (I am speaking as a trans individual). I think souls do have a set gender, whether that be male, female, nonbinary, agender, etc. And I think that the sex of the human vessel is left to chance. That would explain gender as a whole, especially transgender individuals. If your sex doesn’t match your soul gender, you don’t feel right, and you are trans. If it does, you are cis. Of course I don’t expect you to change your opinions based on this, but I would like to see you take into account transgender people and the whole issue of gender, because right now (again, from a trans person’s perspective) your opinions on reincarnation regarding gender make no sense.

    • I am also transgender. I tried very hard to resist it but I was not able to do so. I met with a channeler who told me that I chose this path and that it was a very difficult life lesson that I chose to experience, and that few people are able to succeed the first time around. He told me that I had lived three other lives where I tried and failed. In one life he said I was a woman living in Rome and that I did not want to be a woman so I committed suicide by taking poison. I don’t know if this is true but it shocked me that I may have killed myself. Also I have never gone to a costume party but I always wanted to dress up as a Roman soldier if I did. Something inside me identified with his response and I can’t explain it. He said that if I failed this time I would have to do it again in a different fashion. I was told that learning to balance the male and female energy was my objective. I agree that it is a very difficult path to take and it has caused me a lot of grief but I think I understand what he was talking about and I hope I master it this time. Once you choose to learn a particular objective you have to persist until you get it right.

    • Sorry one other thing I wanted to add. I remember having a very vivid dream when I was about five that I still remember today. I seldom remember dreams but this one I can still remember and it has been over 50 years. I remember feeling like I was an adult and I was talking to three other beings, not sure if they were male or female but it seemed like they were strongly interested in my progress. I remember they seemed very serious but not angry or emotional in any way. It was like they were sending me on another journey. I remember very distinctly that I kept telling myself over and over that I was going to remember this time. What was it that I was suppose to remember…I don’t know. Seems like I had this dream a number of times when I was very young. I forgot about it for many years and then I remembered it again a few years ago.

    • Your dream sounds as though there is more to the story! You may be interested in reading people’s memories of being born. I read some individuals saying that they, “chose” their parents etc and next they just remember being born. I found a large amount of people posting about being born on a website called http://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,,-2899,00.html

      Thank you for sharing!

  43. Gender is a biological factor. Most animal species have evolved with a male-female distinction for the purposes of sexual reproduction and playing different roles as parents.

    But none of this is set in stone. Gender is not an imposition. It’s just something that has evolved in many different ways. In some species, the males are very competitive, but in others the males are very nurturing. There is no fixed template defining the difference between male and female. All possibilities are open, and spirit is happy to explore all options.

    As a soul reincarnating in the human species, you pretty much have to choose a gender for each new life, male or female. Sometimes you choose one or the other for a specific reason. You might choose to be male to experience life as a father, say. You might have a preference for one or the other, but you wouldn’t gain anything by spending every life as one gender. We learn through different experiences so that we can compare and contrast. Overall, it balances out.

    In some lives, the choice of gender is no big deal. You could be either.

    In some lives, however, the whole concept of gender could be the very thing you want to explore. Why not? Let’s see what happens if one is born male but prefers to be female. Let’s see if one can be both genders at once. Or how about alternating between genders several times during a single life. Let’s see what it is like to be born with both genitalia.

    These are the kind of options that any soul is free to explore.

  44. In one of your articles here you say that we only re-incarnate as humans. This is not 100% correct. As you correctly said, the soul evolves. As the soul (aka consciousness) evolves, it re-incarnates to the species that it’s most appropriate to be at. So at the beginning of our journey, millions of years ago, we were probably rats, or something. Or another low species in another planet. At some point, we ended up here, as humans, after much evolving. After completing the human cycle, we still re-incarnate, but as a higher species, possibly in another planet/universe/reality. Also, while re-incarnating as a human, you could re-incarnate as a different species in another planet, as long as that other species is on the same level of consciousness evolution as humans are. But in general, we prefer what we know best at each stage. What I’m writing above have been reported by people who did DMT, and were able to live and experience hundred of past lives in just 10 minutes. I’ve read at least 3 such reports so far and I have every reason to believe them, since they directly experience these things, compared to someone who just channels information.

  45. Hi, I have a very strong feeling that my youngest son was my brother in another life. I haven’t felt this way with my other kids or any relatives. He is only a year old but we already have such a song bond. I have the feeling he was my brother & we are experiencing how to appreciate one another in this lifetime. Also, I have an over welding fear of someone hurting my kids. I keep having flashes of one of my children dying with me when are village gets raided by a tribe who has a vendetta against us.. are these things I’m telling you possible?

    • Oh yes, very possible and not uncommon. It sounds like you once went through this trauma and the memory of it is resurfacing now for whatever reason – perhaps your youngest son was there too? I think you will find a lot of similar stories at this popular past life discussion forum:


      If the fear/flashbacks are really troubling, there are regression therapists who specialise in healing such things.

      Hope this helps

    • The body-mind, not the soul, sleeps at night.

      The soul has no need to eat anything as it is part of the source energy of reality.

    • The soul is eternal to eat,sleep and other things are related to body needs, but soul only need to manifest itself through body or other forms to learn needed experience.

  46. Hello, o have had this weird pattern in my life were I can only have friends for a few months to two years tops before they leave my life or they hurt me, like they all of a sudden don’t like me. I will be twenty next month and although I do talk to people I knew awhile back, it isn’t like being with them in the flesh. I was just wondering, if I could even get a clue of what my soul is trying to get out of having very short relationships granted not just romantic but companions as well, I would let it run its course. I also understand that I am apparently a “mature soul” so if that has anything to do with it then whatever I guess. What I’m actually trying to ask is, is their a way the physical body or human mind can conceive what the soul is trying to learn so it won’t be in the way?

  47. Hi,

    Is it possible for the soul to reincarnate backwards in earth-time? For instance, if a catastrophe destroys all life on Earth, what would happen to the souls that have not completed their reincarnation cycles? Can they reincarnate into a previous century?


    • I think all souls who would be affected by the experience would know of it in advance. It’s only while on Earth that we are taken by surprise, where events seem to happen out of the blue.

      If the planet comes uninhabitable, we will simply find another planet with another intelligent species to ensoul.

      Backwards reincarnation from the human point of view is, I suspect, not doable because we would all want to go back and shoot Hitler or invest in Apple, stuff like that. It would be extremely messy. But from the soul’s point of view between lives, it wouldn’t exactly be “backwards” as the whole of time is present NOW. I suspect the rule of the game is that we are committed to experience linear time in our incarnations, even though we are above linear time between lives. That’s just my current understanding, and I could be totally wrong!

    • This should be a post in itself, but I’ll try to be succinct.

      Before there are souls, bodies, worlds, etc., there is consciousness. The essential underlying consciousness of the universe, of all-that-is, of pure being. Call it God if you like, or Spirit, or Essence.

      The nature of this ultimate cosmic consciousness isn’t just ‘awareness’ as we know it; it is also divine will, an eternal impulse to be and become more, as well as Love in its most perfect form.

      Consciousness loves to explore, experience, and expand. And a great way to do that is to fragment into seemingly separate bits of consciousness, i.e. billions of individual souls, each of whom has their own unique perspective, experience, and free will.

      So the One becomes many, but each of the many is still an integral part of the whole, the One. It’s rather like the way a hologram, when shattered, still contains the same image in each fragment. We are all “made in his image.”

      Each soul (a fragment of cosmic consciousness) then willingly sets out on the journey of individuation and self-realisation, experiencing all there is to experience as an individual self, before eventually reintegrating with the Whole.

      Some beings choose to stay non-physical – we might call them angels or spirit guides. Their consciousness is more “pure” than ours, but lacks the sophistication and wisdom that only comes from the experience of reincarnation.

      Those who choose the path of reincarnation are courageous, especially those on this planet, which is definitely a “tough school” if ever there was one.

      In the early stages of reincarnation, we focus more on extending into the separation, identifying heavily with our bodies, personalities and social groups. This is the magnetic pull of becoming an individual and experiencing all that goes with it. This includes our ability to make poor choices (poor in the sense of not reflecting our underlying oneness – choices that are karmic, such as murder).

      In the later stages, we focus more on reaching back towards integration and unity. At first we do so very slowly as we develop empathy for those around us. We then start making ‘better’ choices that are more and more compassionate, less karmic.

      Ultimately, we come to regard all others, both human and non-human, as extensions of our Self, i.e. the same consciousness. We feel nothing but love. And for our own existence, we feel only joy.

      Between lives, as we undertake this vast project, we spend all the time we want in a non-physical state. In that state, surrounded by love and light, and aware of the overriding unity of all-that-is, we see the bigger picture of life on Earth, and we know very well what we are doing. We see that the pain and suffering of human life is caused by our limited consciousness as individuals in human form – the very thing we are seeking to develop.

      So, the more we evolve, the more we seek to avoid pain and to cause less suffering while in human form. The more we evolve, the more successfully we can do so.

      Eventually, as old souls, we come to be at peace within ourselves and with the rest of the world. We love life, both our own and all others’. We can show and share that love openly. At the same time, we love our own existence so much that we are very happy to be human, focusing on whatever turns us on the most: art, travel, philosophy, science, domestic life, healing, spiritual teaching, etc.

      Our mission, then, is very simple: To be ourselves as consciously, fully, and vividly as we can be.


      Emmanuel’s Book: A Manual for Living Comfortably in the Cosmos

  48. I lost my boyfriend 4month ago .I would like to now if the love I didnt live this life time would I live it in the next ,I feel that there was things that we never said to one other.

    • Hi Aliette,

      First, I am sorry to hear of your loss. I would begin, though, by pointing out that your boyfriend hasn’t really gone anywhere. He’s just turned invisible, having stepped out of his last body. If your loving attention is on him, he knows it. You can still communicate with him, and he may communicate with you, particularly in your dream state. You can still say what you need to say. (I remember doing that when my mother died. I deliberately went inside myself, and there was a moment in which I felt I was in communion with her, and able to mentally express whatever I needed to.)

      It might be worth bearing in mind another possibility – that this loss was something you had planned before this life began, as a life experience.

      Either way, the love you ‘didn’t live’ is always there, and if you feel it for him, he will feel it too. Love between humans is a pale reflection of the real love we have for each other between lives. When you depart this life, he will probably be one of several waiting there with open arms to greet you.

      I would also recommend that you do your best to avoid thinking that you’ve missed you “one shot” at love in this life. Love is always available, and it is never limited to one soul (unless we convince ourselves that it is, in which case it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy).

      Be the love that you want to experience from another.

      Hope this helps,


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