A dream, awakening, and healing

Me + M.E.

(July 2014)

Ok, this is pretty phenomenal. And I don’t often say that when it’s just about me.

Some of you will know my recent history. I have been badly troubled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. since 2008. It’s a massive depletion of energy, which I’ve described as feeling like a frail 90-year-old with a bad dose of ‘flu.*

* If you want to know more, see my About page.

I had really feared that this was a permanent condition from which I would never recover. It has had a dramatic effect on my life, my work, my family, my income. Also my ability to run this website. It has severely dented my sense of worth as a person, an employee, a man, a father, and a husband.

Initiation in a dream

Around 2am on the morning of Monday 8th September, 2014, I had a very lucid (conscious) dream.

I was conscious enough to know that it wasn’t “just a dream.” Something was happening to me. I was communing with the Michael entity.

At first I was just having some fun, flying around (as you do in lucid dreams), while these higher-intelligence beings gradually came towards me. I think I was being given time to recognise that I was actually in the presence of Michael, time for it to sink into my conscious awareness without causing me to wake up in surprise. [1]

And then, as soon as I realised this … there was  a solemn moment in which one representative of the group gave me a shaktipat initiation. [2]

With that, I immediately had a spiritual awakening: I experienced myself as my whole Self, perfect and devoid of the ego/mind/personality limitations of the everyday me, “Barry”.

I knew myself, and I still know myself, to be a wonderful, radiant being of great love and great power, utterly and uniquely myself without a shred of fear or doubt.

And while still in this state of Self-realisation I woke up fully. (It seemed to be the right thing to do.)  As I did so, I had a massive kundalini experience. [3]

The full monty! [4]

Glorious energy surging up my spine to the top of my head.

An eternity of ecstasy in a moment of perfection that may have lasted seconds, minutes or hours (I really don’t know!).

Healing and transformation

Since then I have been on a steady emotional high, frequently in a state of ecstasy, super-energised, and with absolutely no trace of fatigue, chronic or otherwise!

At first I was wary of getting my hopes up. Now, however, I am confident that I am transformed.

Two days after the dream (on Wednesday 10th September), I wrote an email to some of my closest friends:

I am in a state of gentle, enduring bliss. Not feeling it when I first wake up in the morning, but as the day progresses it gradually returns, such that by bed-time I’m high as a kite, buzzing with energy, semi-detached from ego and personality. So in order to sleep I have to take something to knock myself out (which is probably why I feel nothing when I wake up).
Last evening, I found that communicating what I’m experiencing amplifies it, to the point that the world glows with a golden hue, and I feel very calm, open, contented, and energised – like I could run a marathon and play drums at the same time.
I have been able to observe how I normally identify with the Barry-character I “play” in everyday life, with all his neuroses and narrative and so on. But at the same time I can experience myself as this bigger, more powerful “me”, which I can sense as a sort of transparent envelope or sheath, as thick as a duvet, surrounding my physical body, fizzing with blissful energy.
Generally I am oscillating between the two versions of myself, though when I am absorbed in a task, like work or housekeeping, I am not particularly aware of either. I had wondered if that would cause me to lose focus on the bigger me and return to the “little me” just out of habit. What I find, though, is that if I simply relax “backwards” into myself, rather than anxiously “lean forwards” to monitor/control myself, my appearance and behaviour, as I usually would, then the bigger me with all the energy and calmness is right there.
Thus far the energy flow seems very steady and surprisingly easy to access even after ignoring it for a few hours. I have also found that every now and then, after a period of intense activity or distraction, I just want to be still, silent, sit upright and think of nothing. So without even trying I am naturally meditating, precisely when the energy wants me to. I also notice I am walking with a very upright posture, which the energy clearly prefers.
I don’t know how long this is going to last, but somehow I also don’t care. If it ends in the next second, it will already have been enough for one life.

It also feels like this episode is the culmination point of numerous crises, insights and synchronicities that have been going on for the last few months. Far too much to describe in this single post, so I will be back with more updates.


[1]  There are said to be precisely 1,050 souls in the collective intelligence known as “Michael” — a combination of Kings and Warriors (for those familiar with these terms). As far as I could tell, though, I was interacting with just a small group of them, between five and ten. Nevertheless, I could tell by the quality of their presence that they were definitely Warriors / Kings with a masterful, no-nonsense power.

[2]  Shaktipat is a transfer of spiritual energy given by a teacher to a student. It instantly awakens the student’s higher consciousness.

[3]  Kundalini is a transformative power residing within a person’s subtle body, around the base of the abdomen. When released or awakened, it unleashes an explosion of spiritual energy rising up the body to the crown of the head. The experience is ecstatic, blissful and profound.

[4] The full monty is British slang for ‘the whole lot’ or ‘all the way’, equivalent to ‘hook, line and sinker’. It also happens to be the name of the second best British comedy film ever (after Life of Brian), and a certain line kept coming into my head after this episode (see image below).

No-one said anything to me about the full monty.

 See the trailer at IMDB →


39 thoughts on “A dream, awakening, and healing

  1. Oh bliss… now don’t forget to push off and start flying… I have actually had dream encounters with Michael…. experienced as a sphere of blue light, as a beguiling powerful woman and others… Here’s to your continued self-recovery, self-empowerment and I shall continue being focussed on you when meditating with crystals and sending/sharing energy with you because… well, we are here in the world to share of ourselves… namaste and ride the kundalini wave to the hilt… sweet dreams…

  2. Wow! That is about as good an experience someone in physical form could hope for. You must have really invested in fine tuning your connection to be blessed in this way. I wish you continued blessings during your time here.

    • And yet utterly unexpected. Typical of Growth I suppose – sudden lurching from one extreme to another.

  3. This is fascinating. I would like to know why the souls are made up only of warriors/kings?

    I’m also curious to know something else. If we apparently reincarnate with the same group of souls over and over again, how does that work? Surely some of us overlap the others during birth/death? And everyone knows different people – if we reincarnated with all of them, the groups would be far too enormous. I don’t understand how that makes sense?

    • I would like to know why the souls are made up only of warriors/kings?

      A typical Entity (or Oversoul, or large soul grouping) consists of approx. 1,000 souls of 2-4 types.

      The Entity known as Michael, who is the source of these teachings, consists of two types, Kings and Warriors (total = 1,050), all having completed reincarnation and moved on to a higher dimension.

      See for example

      If we apparently reincarnate with the same group of souls over and over again, how does that work? Surely some of us overlap the others during birth/death? And everyone knows different people – if we reincarnated with all of them, the groups would be far too enormous. I don’t understand how that makes sense?

      I’m not sure what doesn’t make sense to you exactly, but I’ll see if I can clarify a couple of things.

      We generally do not reincarnate with the same set of soul-mates in each and every life. That would be rather limiting. As a Scholar, for example, I gain a bigger perspective by interacting with non-Scholars.

      But that said, there are SOME specific soul-mates we do frequently team up with in life:
      — Essence Twins
      — Task Companions
      — Travelling Companions
      — Heartlinks

      There is no shortage of other souls to be alive with in every possible kind of relationship.

  4. Wow! How awesome and wonderfull, both the experience and the way you convey it. Made me buzz all over and somehow, although I do not personally know you -I do know and very much appreciate your work- feel the deepest love for you and for live in general, in that these kind of experiences are available for us. Very uplifting! Thanks for sharing, with love, Laure

    • Thank you so much Laure. Lots of love to you.
      And who knows, maybe we do know each other (trans)personally?

  5. Barry, it makes me so happy to read about your experience and that you’re no longer in constant pain. It was hard to read that your self worth was so low because to me you’re this amazing person that changed my life forever. I look to you for guidance and come to your site when I need a pick me up. I’m really looking forward to hearing more about your awakening!

    • heheee, I’m so happy, imsewhappy.

      My low self-esteem was coming from an ingrained sense of inadequacy and, thus, chief feature of Self Deprecation. I have not experienced a single bit of it all week. It’s like I’ve stepped into a different body-suit where my old fears and patterns no longer exist.

      I have a deep sense of validation — that everything I have done here on this site, for instance, has been exactly right.

      Loads and loads of insights — it’s going to take me the rest of my life to capture them all here for all to see!!
      And what a great way to see out my life that will be.

      I am weeping with a sense of being blessed.


    • Hi Ken

      Absolutely … The dance of growth, from yearning to learning. I’m picturing a stepwise growth process, in my case at least, something like this :

      Self induced suffering

      Self judgement

      Self examination

      Self awareness

      Self understanding

      Self acceptance

      Self transformation


  6. this is so amazing to read, Barry. I can imagine how you withstood through hardships to follow your spiritual path and finally rewarded for the service that you have been providing to all through this website. Like so many others, for me as well, this website was the primary place to understand the Michael teachings in simple and easy manner – the first website I hit and could not stop reading.
    Many blessings, joy and love to you for all that you have been doing and will continue doing…
    Reading this post is also inspirational and a reminder that the spiritual journey is not a wild goose chase, but if we keep on, there are ample rewards and joy.
    I look forward to read more updates from you, on the crises and tough situations that led to your blessing…

    • Growth … It’s a bugger. But the end result … breakthrough.

      Thank you so much Preeti. I already have about 10 more posts to publsih on this, it’s just mind-blowing.

      Watch this space!!

  7. Very happy for you Barry! I too am very thankful for everything you’ve put together here and wish you all the best in your journey. x Sam.

  8. Dear Barry,

    This seems to be a very great and significant spiritual experience. Have you had lucid dreams before this? Why did the Michael entity allow this contact at this time? Any suggestions regarding how to establish “contact” with the Michael group and/or start some lucid dreams? Is this a one-off experience for you (with Michael) or the start of a teaching relationship?

    I “received” a few shaktipat initiations when I traveled in India (for five years!) but nothing apparent so far? This appears to be a great “blessing” you have received but perhaps have earned from Michael.

    I now meditate but seem a long way away from a lucid dream. Obviously there are levels – I would like to use lucid dreams as a means to establish contact with “higher” spiritual planes. Even my meditations have declined in intensity recently but I have been uplifted reading your account today.

    Cheers, thanks and greetings, David (Australia)

    • Hi David

      — Have you had lucid dreams before this? —

      There was definitely one about 20 years ago.

      I found myself on top of a large, high plateau which overlooked a big city and harbour, with a beautiful ocean and islands in the distance. It was warm and sunny. Realising that I was in a lucid dream I decided to leap off the cliff edge to see if I could fly. I soared like an eagle, gliding towards the ocean over the city, loving every minute of it!

      I’d initially assumed that the scenery in the dream was made-up, but later discovered that Cape Town in South Africa, with its Table Mountain, was a perfect match.

      For example:



      I’ve also had a few half-baked out-of-body experiences after meditating.

      — Why did the Michael entity allow this contact at this time? —

      I guess one of us will have to ask them that! But it clearly seemed to be the culmination of a tidal wave of synchronicities and ‘guided insights’ over recent months. Very long story!

      I also think this lovely fella, Arvin de Bragha, may well have had something to do with it too, but I don’t know what that might have been:


      Arvin is the happy-looking Artisan on the right; the chap on the left is his own dream mentor, ‘Merlin’.

      Arvin himself is now a lucid dream expert and mentor, though I have never (knowingly) received or asked for any advice from him about any of that. I just recently stumbled on his website and immediately felt a connection, like we have an Agreement at the soul level. I also loved the fact that he meets people on the Astral and then gets their overleaves from a Michael channel!

      I’m going to do an article on him soon.

      Arvin also goes by the name of babylonmagus — see the very first comment above (it’s him!).

      — Any suggestions regarding how to establish “contact” with the Michael group and/or start some lucid dreams? —

      Um, see above I guess: Arvin’s the man.

      I played no conscious part in creating this dream / contact / initiation.

      — Is this a one-off experience for you (with Michael) or the start of a teaching relationship? —

      In 1998 after reading Messages From Michael and realising that I was ‘meant’ to understand the system, I tracked down Sarah Chambers, the original Michael channel. She had been in retirement from channelling for some years but briefly came back to it before her death in 1999, so I just caught her in time (…and as it happens, I just learned that Arvin did exactly the same at that time!).

      In my reading, as well as getting my overleaves I asked if I could ever contact Michael directly. The answer:

      “You do meet up with us on the Astral plane in your dream life, but so far you have chosen not to remember it.”

      I had forgotten that intriguing tidbit until just the other day!

      I would say that Michael became my ‘teacher’ as far as my conscious mind is concerned after that reading, in that I became a student of the teachings and surrendered to their wisdom. However, I have little doubt that on another level I had been their student for a long time before (as well as after) that!

      i also have a ‘new’ teacher: Kundalini. It, or rather she, is a presence in my abdomen. Usually she’s quite still and quiet, gently slumbering and purring like a kitten on my lap — until, that is, I stir her with a bit of meditation, and then she’s all over me!

      Kundalini, I now realise, isn’t so much an experience as a one-to-one relationship, like a marriage. We have been getting to know each other. And still in the honeymoon phase!

      — This appears to be a great “blessing” you have received but perhaps have earned from Michael. —

      I can’t relate to the word earned, as it seems to have been on my path all along. Every struggle and doubt and ailment in the 53 years of my life so far I can now see as a sort of pre-initiation ‘training’ or ‘preparation’, though at the time of corse I just saw it all as complete shit rather unpleasant and confusing.

      Glad to hear you’re feeling uplifted. I think that’s my mission: to uplift others, directly or indirectly, by expressing my knowledge and experience as precisely as I can.

      Sending a big hug to down under from up above (as it were)

      Barry 🙂

  9. Incredible story Barry, nothing like a personal experience to verify what you have researched and to go from a place of believing to a place of knowing…also a great example of the law of attraction and karma. Maybe this is the beginning of a ‘second phase’ of your life where you can discover even more profound knowledge and wisdom. Even if it isn’t it sounds like you’ve gotten a great deal out of it however long it lasts. Good luck!

  10. Hi Barry,

    I am glad you know you are feeling well. I was and still am on a journey of discovery about what makes me, me. I had some questions when I had read through your article on the chief features of the ego. And the manner in which you had replied to me, had left me with tears in my eyes. You told me so much more than what I had asked. And the time you invested in replying, understanding my question and giving examples from your life – made me feel heard and understood at such a deep level. Thank you for being you, Barry. And loads of good energy, good thoughts, prayers and wishes being sent your way from me 🙂

    • I deeply appreciate what you have said … I’m just trying to figure out which previous commenter you were!

  11. Very interesting Barry, thank you for sharing all this useful information, really great, and I wish you all the best with your Health, and there is only life and death is just a face in life as you know yourself so good. Great knowledge about Old Souls, thank you very much, my friend!

    Kind regards,

  12. I love your Lucid Dream experience. Yes, we all are facets/aspects of our Higher Selves, Oversoul having experiences and to realise we are more than our current personality is something wonderful to realise. We all set up experiences like illness for example before we incarnate for our individual soul to experience to bring back to the whole (the Oversoul or Higherselves) etc.

    Also interesting to note the different labelling of Soul Connections like Twin Soul, Twin Flame, Twin Ray, Eternal Flame etc. Some believe we only have one Twin Flame who is the other half of our soul. Some believe we originate from a Spilt soul. The Original Oversoul and there apparently were 12 Original Oversouls and every human on the planet is an aspect of an Oversoul being. Yes, we have Soul families that we incarnate with, close soulmates and the Twin Flames are slightly different in being the same vibration/essence. Very hard to explain, even I don’t understand…..


    • I’ll do a proper blog update soon, but in a nutshell:
      On day 62 of kundalini bliss (Nov 9) it suddenly stopped and I entered the pits of depression – the ‘dark night of the soul’. I couldn’t face writing anything for at least a month. Did some research and found it’s a common phenomenon known as a “die-off”, a glitch due to overloading my poorly prepared mind/brain with too much excitement at once! Need to recover my neural receptors or something.
      My energy now is still way above normal (sleeping is a problem), but not ecstatic like it was, though slowly increasing with each day. And: still no CFS/ME!

  13. Yes, I know about Dark Night of the Soul. Also, from my own experiences and what I have read the length of ecstatic energy cannot be maintained for any length of time- it seems it’s too much when we are in the physical, but in the afterlife it isn’t.
    Hope you feel better soon Barry.

  14. Hi Barry,

    So wonderful to read all this…. your journey, your healing. How are you feeling right now ?

    And I’m also wondering…… can I ask the Michaels for healing and meeting them at night ? Ask and it is given ?

    I can feel the connection with them since I came upon this website and I’ve been studying their material….. but my mind tells me to be modest and patient… that’s probably an ego-trick right ?

    I want to be healthy also ! Wy not ? It is our birthright !

    Much love to you and gratitude for your inspirational website.

    • Hi Saskia

      Glad you like the site.

      I really don’t know how one would go about seeking healing, which is a bit odd now that I think about it. I guess because of my overleaves (growth + perseverance) I’ve always approached sickness as a sort of endurance test and learning experience. But at the start of 2014, inspired in part by Anita Moorjani’s insights, I felt enough was enough and I did make a conscious decision to be well. I am pretty certain that was the trigger for my own healing – in other words, maybe you have to actually *choose* to be well, not just look for a means to get better.

      But also, as you say, ask and it is given – I know that to be true, so why not just ask?

      I felt a similar connection with the Michaels as soon as I read Messages From Michael. Something just clicked. A later reading from a channel told me that I have an agreement with them to promote their teachings in a manner of my own choosing, which feels absolutely so. But, like you, I hesitated to believe such things in case it was an ego hook. It’s funny how we can distrust our ego more than we trust our intuition.

      How am I feeling right now? Physically, terrible – bronchitis, sinusitis, the usual winter bugs. But emotionally, very good, despite having been through quite a stressful month or two. In December I was hit with the news that I would be losing my job this Spring. It’s weird how my kundalini occurred just in time to give me both healing and a shot of super-vitality before that happened.



    • I’m so sorry to hear you found out you will be losing your job. Have you thought about converting your blog posts in to videos on YouTube? You can make quite a bit of money if you have a lot of viewers. There are some michael teachings videos but they don’t even come close to having the kind of information you provide here. You could reach more people and bring in some money.

    • Hi Barry,

      Thanks for your response, it gave me some new insights.

      My overleaves are Acceptance, Passion and Spiritualist….. no wonder I was always and passionately trying to find the spiritual reason why stuff happened and how I could / why I should accept it

      Like you say….. NO MORE ! I choose health, I choose happiness, I choose love…. YES.

      Thanks for reminding me.

      Almost 2 years ago I lost my job also. At first I was very sad (feeling rejected, why me?) and scared about the financial consequences. But now I can say: it was the best thing that happened to me. I really needed to get out of the old ways of being, the old energies. Losing my job was a great help. It opened up a whole new way of living and being. Hope it will be like that for you also, Barry !

      Apart from the winter bugs…. your chronic fatigue still cured ?


  15. I suffer intense anxiety,although I’m aware of what’s happening I become overwhelmed and usually have medicate and sleep. I am curious to know how this may tie into the grand scheme….
    Thank you in advance for any enlightening insight.

    • Very difficult for me to offer much advice without knowing your life and medical history, but do you have any knowledge of what the anxiety is about? For example, a bad experience in your past, or a dreaded experience that you fear in your future? Or is it completely mysterious to you?

  16. Thank you Barry for all of your work. Your experience and subsequent recovery is amazing. I love this kind of work because I too know that this is who we truly are, our One True Self. You are very correct I believe that suffering is a “Teacher” however, I begin to cry when I think of the children starving in the world. I am a follower of Michael Jackson and believe he was a powerful messenger for this planet and the people on it and his passing allowed “His” energy to be released very powerfully. I found all your information so enlightening and interesting. Thank you again.

  17. I told my mom about the Michael Teachings. She loves Michael. She had a cat named Michael. She has a spirit guide Michael. She works a lot with archangel Michael. Michael overload. She wants to help people heal. She’s very direct. Witty, chatty, and has twinkling eyes. She talks too loud in restaurants. I think she’s a Sage of some sort. She’s my squishy. Tho she gets tired of my constant yammering and she has a narrower range of interests from myself, I love her still. Kind of a tumultuous relationship. She’s also a Wood Dragon, Gemini, and uh… Water warrior? I’m fire Rabbit, Sagittarius, and easily obsessive about fun facts, trivia, and other worldly knowledge. Fire and Wood, water, lovely mix. My sister is a Water Rooster, a complete moody and … buttmunchy person. She’s old for her age but is pretty mean, kind of concerned with politics, games, women’s rights, and philosophy. I’ve been told that Mom and her carry Swords and I weird a pen knife. <.<
    I just like to think I can be more delicate and precise, maybe intricate. 😛

    I yammered on again. xD

💬 Leave a Reply 💬