BACK IN THE LATE 1990s, just as I had started getting into the Michael teachings, I had a number of Q&A sessions with various Michael channels. I kept records of the sessions, printed them out, and filed the papers away for safe keeping … as any Scholar would.
After several house moves, however, their whereabouts became unknown and I forgot all about them. Recently, though, it occurred to me that it would be fascinating to look back at them. But where on Earth were they?
One day I asked my wife, who always knows where everything is, “Do you happen to have any idea where I might find all my old Michael stuff?” Before she even answered, I noticed on the desk right next to her a big white box marked “Barry’s Michael Stuff.” She herself had just been doing a lot of tidying and filing, came across my old readings, and put them all together in this box.
Where would I be without her?
Opening the box was quite a moment. There were my original notes, diagrams, downloads, and transcripts from 1998 and 1999.
My introduction to the Michael teachings
I had been introduced to the Michael teachings through the book Messages From Michael, which had been given to me as a Christmas present in 1997. After reading the book again and again, I’d felt that this was exactly the right information for me at the right time.
The book itself had first been published in the 1970s, and on seeing it in 1997 I suddenly had a flashback—I remembered having seen it on sale in a supermarket about twenty years earlier, c.1978.
At that time I had been a very conflicted teenager, struggling with shyness and low self-esteem. I was reading a lot of science fiction paperbacks. The ‘Messages From Michael’ book had been mistakenly placed in the Sci-Fi section of the supermarket bookshelves. Flipping through it, words like “essence”, “overleaves” and “casting” jumped out at me and seemed to strike a chord.
But, despite my vast thirst for knowledge, I decided then that it was not for me. Why? Actually, I feared that I wouldn’t understand it, that I would be out of my depth, and that this would merely add to my low self-esteem.
Finding Sarah Chambers
So, I guess by 1998 I was very ready for it. Having grasped the basics, I joined an online discussion group about the teachings. (I believe the archives are still accessible somewhere.)
This proved very useful as it enabled me to track down the original channel. Her name was given as “Jessica Lansing” in the books, but her real name, I now learned, was Sarah Chambers. She had actually given up channeling for many years, but had very recently decided to restart it due to the growing popularity of the books. In addition, a number of other people had spontaneously started receiving the teachings, and so were seeking her advice on how best to channel Michael.
Delighted to be in contact with her, I said some flattering words and then asked if she’d give me a basic reading by email. After sending her an envelope with some U.S. dollars in it, she did.
I was incredibly lucky to get a reading from Sarah as she died later that year.
So, here it is. I hope for some readers it serves to satisfy their curiosity and maybe whet their appetite to get a reading. I also offer it as a contribution to the archives of Sarah Chambers’ channeling. (Bear in mind that she knew nothing about me apart from my name, date of birth, location and interest in the Michael teachings.)
But for me, rediscovering it after 17 years, it has been amazing to see its relevance to my recent life events.
(P.S. I have more old readings from other channels in my box. It’s very striking how they seem to flow continuously from one to the next. I will be post them all here shortly.)Q
What are my overleaves, essence & casting?
What I’m asking for here is my personal profile. This is usually the first thing to ask for — a description of who you are in terms of both your eternal soul or essence (role, soul age and casting) and your current-life personality (or “overleaves“), which consists of mode, goal, attitude, centering, chief features, plus body type. You will often get some information on certain soul mates (essence twin and task companion), plus a bit of interpretation about how it all works to influence your character.[For more information, see: What information do you get in a Michael reading?]
The essence and overleaves information all makes complete sense, and I have personally validated all of it. If there is one thing I would quibble, it’s that my self-deprecation seems overpowering to me rather than “weak”. Impatience as a chief feature did come as a surprise to me at first, but I guess that’s because we often fail to spot our own chief feature — it wasn’t a surprise to my wife!
The casting information is less easy to validate. I can now resonate with the more immediate aspects, though my Sage casting seemed very unlikely to me at the time as I was so shy. I even dismissed it as an error … D’oh! (More on this below.)
I have a sneaking suspicion that my essence twin may be now my son, who is a Scholar, and was born in 2001.Q
What ikon was given to me by my parents?
To explain:– An ikon is a label we unconsciously attach to someone as a way to characterise them in our own minds. Ikons can be flattering or derogatory or neutral, but they are always simplistic.
Parents, either individually or jointly, will inevitably attach an ikon to each of their children. Examples include
- “The first-born who must continue our great work”
- “The sweetest little girl in the world”
- “The unwanted drain on resources”
- “The angel sent to keep us together”
One of the difficulties of childhood is that we can sense how we are perceived (i.e., the parental ikon), and it can easily become a source of friction if we deem it inappropriate or damaging. Teenage rebellion often revolves around defying a parental ikon.
“The child who will live our lives for us” … I could not have put it better myself, at least as far as my mother was concerned.
My parents (both Servers) were working class, poorly educated, and very sweet. Before I came along they had already had two children, both boys and both with severe mental and physical disabilities, one of whom died at the age of 3. They were advised not to try for any more, and resigned to their fate. I came along several years later as “an accident”.
My parents assumed that I would emerge the same as the previous ones, but I turned out to be both “normal” and intelligent. They were delighted but also unsure of themselves. My father didn’t interact with me much at all, partly through a lack of common ground (he was semi-literate), and partly through both of us being introverts. But it was also (I later learned) because he feared that he might somehow do something that would “cause” me to become disabled like my brothers.
My mother was the extravert of the house (goal of dominance; chief feature of arrogance), but she was never going to venture anywhere or try anything new. In contrast, with my scholarly brain and goal of growth, I was set on exploring the world to accumulate knowledge and experience. Watching and talking about my expansive involvement with life became a substitute for her fearful stasis.
(The “parental ikon” and its influence are described in great detail in one of the books compiled by Chelsea Quinn Yarbro: Michael For The Millennium.)Q
What is behind the low self-confidence I have felt throughout much of this life?
I was a born introvert, which must be partly my scholarly nature. But being surrounded by extroverts, some quite obnoxious, I grew up to be increasingly shy, reticent, and socially anxious. I did hold private fantasies about becoming famous, but the shyness inhibited me in too many ways. (My goal of growth, however, has often pushed me into situations and relationships which I might otherwise have been too shy to attempt.) <
My life task is described below. The word “pillar” is a reference to the “four pillars of vitality” — work, rest, play and study. Each of us has an ideal form of each pillar, known as our true work, true rest, true play and true study. Our true work is aligned with our life goal and life task. Our true rest, play and study are ways of optimising our energy, especially for doing true work.
So Michael is saying here that my playful side is under-utilised, and that I should tap into my true play to bring more joy into my activities as a way to gain self-confiedence. Again, this emphasis on the fun, playful, expressive qualities of the Sage was lost on me at the time … I was 38, very serious, and (as discussed below) well into my mid-life crisis.Q
What is my life task?
It is said that the soul plans a rough outline of each incarnation before birth. This plan will often include a specific task or self-challenge to be undertaken. This life task is usually the main focus of the second half of life, and is experienced as one’s true calling or true work.
The entire life can be divided into seven inner turning points, or internal monads in the jargon. The 4th internal monad is the mid-life turning point (typically 35-40) where one seeks one’s true work and begins the life task. Much of what occurs in the first half of life, before the 4th internal monad, is actually preparation for undertaking the life task to come in the second half. For mature souls, the 4th internal monad can be particularly excruciating — a mid-life crisis.
Accumulating knowledge was obviously correct in my case, but once again: “joyful manner”? … “fun”? … “play”? This all seemed a bit far-fetched.Q
I fear that my current profession is not a true expression of myself, but I also fear that a cereer shift would be financially disastrous. Are these fears justified?
At this time (1998), I had been in the same job for 8 years and in the same line of work for 12 years. My goal of growth was twitching for new experiences, and I was also beginning to angst about my life’s purpose (i.e. starting to feel the pinch of the 4th internal monad). But I was also terrified of losing the security of a stable income, fearing that I would return to a time in my life when I had absolutely no money.
Again, I wasn’t sure about all this talk of a suppressed Sage-like aspect of my personality. I just couldn’t relate to it at the time. But now, if there is one big change that has occurred in my personality over the years it is “finding my voice” and learning how to really enjoy expressing myself. In this respect, and as you can probably tell, I am not at all the same as the reticent and inhibited person I was back then.
Looking back, I’m just amazed at how much I was out of alignment with my essence. Fun and expressiveness are typical Sage traits, and my Sage casting is now very obvious to me. In addition, my whole drive since turning 40-ish has been to come out of my shy, introverted shell, find my true voice, and openly share my knowledge. Ideally, in a way that is light-hearted.
One day in 2009, having suddenly developed chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME) after an episode of pericarditis, I locked myself in a room for an afternoon. Feeling utterly useless, and fearing that I might have (say) only another year’s worth of productive activity in me, I sat down and resolved not to get up until I had figured something out. I contemplated:
“If I do only have another year left, what would I actually want to DO that would give me the feeling of satisfactorily fulfilling my potential and my life’s purpose?”
I asked myself this repeatedly, gradually spiralling inwards toward the deep inner sense of truth. Finally I came to this, which I felt had perfect resonance:
TO FIND SOMETHING WORTH SAYING TO OTHERS — KNOWLEDGE THAT WILL INSPIRE THEM TO LIVE AT PEACE WITH THEMSELVES IF THEY WISH TO DO SO — AND TO SAY IT WITH EXQUISITE CLARITY AND BEAUTY.
I knew that I had knowledge of personality and spirituality, and that this knowledge was exactly what I wanted to share. I began work on this website the next day.Q
I would love to establish direct contact with high-level guides such as yourselves, but have yet to experience it. Do you have any advice?
Before finding my box of “Michael Stuff”, I had forgotten this little tidbit about encountering Michael in my dream state. I must have dismissed it at the time as unlikely. Now, I am quite astonished. It was on 8 September last year that I had a lucid dream-encounter with Michael in which I was given a shaktipat initiation which in turn triggered a kundalini awakening. This is another way in which these early readings from the late 1990s seem to allude to events and changes that I am only now consciously experiencing.
More to come soon…