A dream, awakening, and healing

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Me + M.E.

(July 2014)

Ok, this is pretty phenomenal. And I don’t often say that when it’s just about me.

Some of you will know my recent history. I have been badly troubled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / M.E. since 2008. It’s a massive depletion of energy, which I’ve described as feeling like a frail 90-year-old with a bad dose of ‘flu.*

* If you want to know more, see my About page.

I had really feared that this was a permanent condition from which I would never recover. It has had a dramatic effect on my life, my work, my family, my income. Also my ability to run this website. It has severely dented my sense of worth as a person, an employee, a man, a father, and a husband.

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My first Enlightenment Intensive – by Isis the psychic

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I just came across this wonderful article, “Isis Speaks”, by Isis Coble (above).

Isis, also known as Meerkat or TarotMama, is an inuitive/psychic counsellor who does online tarot readings via her tarotmama.com website.

The article was published in Sojourn magazine (Vol 2, Issue 2), in 1998. Sojourn was a magazine for spiritually-minded women writers and artists based in Northern California. In the article—described as an “interview” although there are no questions—Isis tells her life story. The bit I want to relay is about Isis’s first encounter with an Enlightenment Intensive in the ealy 1970s.

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My first enlightenment experience

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When I first saw an ad for an Enlightenment Intensive back in 1991, I was pretty sceptical. “An opportunity to experience the change in state of consciousness traditionally known as enlightenment” it said—and in just three days? There had to be a catch! I thought it was supposed to take decades, lifetimes even, to reach such a state.

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A spontaneous enlightenment experience


23 October 2008

Thursday afternoon, after work, I was sitting on the train as usual and decided to meditate. I do this quite often on the train but sometimes it just doesn’t work, either because it’s too crowded and noisy or because my head isn’t quite right. This time, however, it went very well—somehow I got everything “right”.

I was expecting to move gently into my usual blissful space but evidently I somehow went a step further. All I can remember doing differently was taking the technique to the limit, allowing the flow to the max, saying to myself something like “What if I let go of all resistance, totally? What if I could be a completely allowing being? What if, right now, my whole body and mind could be in perfect alignment with this flow of energy?”

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Insight into body state and self-critical attitude

10 December 2007

My meditation has been up and down, the downs essentially being due to life disruptions causing me to occasionally miss my daily slot. (The main disruption being the fact that we have moved house.)

Whenever I miss meditation, even just for a day, it seems to take up to a week to get back where I was. Tonight was an odd one in that I first moved the chair I use into a different position in the room … and then spent the next half hour not quite feeling right.

There have, however, been some extremely deep and fulfilling meditations of late. Typically, I feel the great ‘hum’ of my being – my body and mind seem to fall into a natural resonance with this core hum – and it feels quite exquisitely peaceful and blissful.

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Meditation as a dialogue


2 October 2007

I have been gradually moving away from that difficult place I mentioned back towards more expanded and blissful states.

One of the fascinating aspects of meditation is the way the very process of meditating somehow teaches you about meditation. I get into a kind of dialogue with “the spirit of meditation” in that I ask myself, or the universe, what needs to happen in me in order for me to become more at one, more in alignment, more open, more at peace, and so on. The answer is an intuitive sense of how better to focus my intention or open my awareness.

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One good meditation

20 September 2007

A few days ago I was feeling a bit grotty and achy. I decided to stop drinking alcohol for a while and let my body get its energy back.

Yesterday I was feeling physically much better, though by the end of the day I had niggling back pain and was feeling impatient for a rest. So I wasn’t expecting much out of my evening meditation other than a bit of relaxation. But it turned into one of the most extraordinary meditations I’ve ever had.

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Highs and flat periods

18 August 2007

Over the last year I have had long phases of being more or less constantly high, alternating with shorter phases of feeling flat and occasionally rough, grouchy and irritable.

My highs are characterised by a wonderful sensation of being charged up internally, as though my cells were all magnetised into alignment. This sense of alignment is particularly marked in my head and face – my skin is stretched smooth, my nerves seem to be tingling with light, and in the vertical core of my entire upper body there seemed to be a constant, exquisite glow.

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This manifestation stuff really works!

9 August 2007

Inspired by the Abraham books and one of the Orin/Daben books, I decided to try my hand at deliberate creation (rather than just maintaining the best possible inner state, which has been going very well – see earlier Manifestation posts in my spiritual journal). I should have kept specific dates, in good scholarly fashion, but here is what has happened so far.

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