15 September 2007
My energy has been coming back, and yesterday (a Friday) was the best I have felt since my last operation two months ago. In fact it was one of my best days ever in terms of my mood and sense of being myself, comfortable in my own skin.
How have I got to this good state?
Basically I have been intending it and allowing it. I have decided to see how well I can feel, I have imagined what feeling great must be like, and I have allowed those feelings to appear and strengthen as I imagine them. It really works, so long as I am able to focus on it for some time and am not overly distracted by external stuff. My commute is my main opportunity to do this.
My meditation has also developed a shift of emphasis: the state I am drawn to now is one of inner peace. I sort of direct and allow my mind to settle down and stop chattering, and as it does so I feel an arising of inner sensations, a sort of self-glow.