23 October 2008
Thursday afternoon, after work, I was sitting on the train as usual and decided to meditate. I do this quite often on the train but sometimes it just doesn’t work, either because it’s too crowded and noisy or because my head isn’t quite right. This time, however, it went very well—somehow I got everything “right”.
I was expecting to move gently into my usual blissful space but evidently I somehow went a step further. All I can remember doing differently was taking the technique to the limit, allowing the flow to the max, saying to myself something like “What if I let go of all resistance, totally? What if I could be a completely allowing being? What if, right now, my whole body and mind could be in perfect alignment with this flow of energy?”
An insight came to me—There is nothing in the universe that needs to be taken seriously. All my bodily resistance comes from taking things in life too seriously, including myself, when really all of life is pure joy when it is allowed to flow without resistance.
It really was as if a cosmic presence came into my consciousness and shared a great secret with me: Take nothing seriously. Nothing in life is serious. All is good, joyous, happy, fun when seen in truth. Only seeing it otherwise makes it seem otherwise.
I felt as though I were in absolutely intimate contact with the universe—the divine—and it was like we were sharing a private joke. I understood what it meant, and it knew that I understood, and I knew that it knew … and so on.
My inner sensations not only melded into the usual blissful flow but, for a while, as I sat there on the train, they transformed into a more active force, not just glowing through me but racing out of me.
I was then distracted by the whole process of getting off the train and making my way home. When I got home, I just acted normal, putting the episode behind me (I can’t remember why, except that there was probably just a lot of domestic stuff to attend to as soon as I walked through the door). So I said nothing about any of this until later in the evening. As my wife and I were watching TV, she turned and looked at me and said, “You’re looking incredibly handsome today! All your wrinkles have disappeared! You look twenty years younger. How come?” It was then that remembered about the experience. As I started to talk about it, the energy started up again. Not full force, but like a great beautiful star shining through me.
On my way to bed I happened to notice myself naked in the mirror. What the—? Where have all my flabby bits gone? When did I suddenly become trim and muscular? And where have all my aches and pains gone? I could not believe what I was seeing, and still don’t know if this was an hallucination or something more weird. Either way, it was gone when I woke up the next morning. But the incredible energy flow stayed with me right through Friday and Saturday.
Overall, this episode gave me the experience of myself free of my stuff—how I would be naturally, if only I had no inner resistance and tension. Basically, happy. It also gave me the insight that life need not ever be taken too seriously—that any situation seen in absolute truth, seen through God’s eyes as it were, contains an element of joy. Misery comes from looking at reality the wrong way.