10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

Around the world, many people—perhaps the majority overall—accept a belief in reincarnation as part of their religion.

Not many people in the West believe in it, though. In fact, many scoff at the very idea and regard it as nonsense.

This is largely because in the West we are enamored with the benefits of scientific knowledge and increasingly sceptical of the old religions—rightly so, in my view. The knowledge science provides can be systematically checked to ensure that it is valid and reliable. This is why it is of such great value.

But it is not necessarily the only source of knowledge that is valid and reliable.

Besides, what science can see is limited to that which is physical and objective. Reality itself is not necessarily so limited. If we limit our understanding of what reality can be to just what science can see, we are leaving ourselves half-blind.

A wealth of information is now available from a wide variety of sources which, despite their differences, give surprisingly coherent and mearningful insights into the nature of the soul and its evolution.

Thanks to a combination of channelled teachings, insights from near-death experiences, reports of hypnotic regression, transpersonal experiences induced by meditation, breath-work or psychoactive substances, after-death communications, and even scientific research into children’s spontaneous descriptions of their past lives, it is now possible to put together a very clear picture of reincarnation.

Regardless of the medium (no pun intended), the message is consistent. Whether one regards such information as factual knowledge or as loony nonsense depends upon one’s openness to non-physical sources of information.

Interestingly, in light of this accumulation of knowledge, we can now see that even within those Eastern cultures that believe in reincarnation, many people’s understanding of it is confused by all sorts of religious doctrines that are just plain wrong.

So, here are ten things about reincarnation which I think are valid and reliable and which I believe everyone—East or West—would benefit from knowing:

10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

1. The soul exists.

  • The soul isn’t just a myth or an illusion or a relic of pre-scientific superstition. All human beings are a combination of physical, mortal body and non-physical, immortal soul.
  • Your soul is the absolute essence of you — the only true answer to the question, “Who am I?” It is who you always are regardless of how you feel or what you believe or how you perceive yourself.
  • From the body’s perspective, the soul is the conscious, animating life force within it. From the soul’s perspective, the body is a vehicle for inhabiting the physical world and experiencing physical existence.
  • The soul is pure consciousness, pure energy, pure being. It exists on a timeless, non-physical level of reality. It is a piece of Spirit or God or Source, a spark of divine light and love, a fragment of absolute perfection.

2. The soul evolves.

  • All souls are on a mission to evolve (grow, develop) through their own experiences and efforts.
  • To evolve as a soul is to become increasingly self-aware and self-capable as a unique expression of Spirit.
  • By evolving, the soul changes in its level of beingness and consciousness, from new-born innocence to greater and greater levels of love, power and wisdom. In effect, that which is created rejoins the Creator — after eons of evolution.

3. The soul evolves most effectively in physical form.

  • Evolution of the soul comes about through individual experience and choice.
  • A soul evolves most effectively by facing and making choices as a separate individual, making choices big and small, and experiencing the effects of each choice.
  • To do so, the soul incarnates — that is, the soul fuses with a physical body for a whole lifetime, from birth to death.
  • By doing so, the soul gets to experience being physically limited and physically separated from others and from all-that-is. This is actually an illusion, a trick of the senses, as the soul itself is never really limited or separate. But the illusion creates enough desire, fear and other pressures to cause the soul to experience conflicts and dilemmas and to make choices. It also puts the soul’s own perceptions, feelings and decisions under the microscope, as it were.
  • The experiences and choices of a lifetime serve as lessons for the soul once the life is completed. After death (the soul’s exit from the physical realm), the soul and its guides review what happened during the life and what lessons can be learned from it.
  • The soul not only reviews its own experiences and choices but also discovers the effects of its own choices on others during the life. For example, the decision to steal a sum of money at one point may have caused the victim significant hardship and anxiety.
  • The soul learns that all choices have experiential consequences, not just for the self but for everyone involved.

4. The soul undergoes the full range of meaningful  experiences and choices by reincarnating.

  • One lifetime is not enough to experience the whole gamut of life circumstances and to make all choices. For example, the soul needs to experience life as both male and female; as both victim and perpetrator; as both student and teacher… Hence, the soul re-incarnates many times over in order to experience the full spectrum of life.
  • Being human again and again, each time with a different body, different life circumstances and different relationships, enables the soul to experience the full range of possible perspectives and relationships and all the lessons that these entail.
  • Through many different human experiences, the soul gradually becomes more self-aware, gradually discovers more of its true capabilities (love, power, wisdom), and gradually learns how to overcome the illusory limitations of being physical.
  • Generally, the soul learns best through a “compare and contrast” process, not through blind repetition. Hence any given lifetime may be completely different in some way from the last one. (From the soul’s point of view, there is little value in repeating the same kind of life again and again — unless, that is, there is a specific lesson within that lifestyle which has yet to be learned — in which case, Groundhog Day is an excellent metaphor).
  • Each human lifetime is an opportunity to learn specific lessons. One lifetime, for example, might focus on learning greater self-responsibility while the next might focus on being kinder to others. If in one lifetime the soul experiences being a man with a lot of power over women, say, it would then be of value to contrast that with the experience of being a powerless woman.
  • The soul has no preference for one side of the equation or the other, since both sides help draw out different aspects of the soul.

5. The soul has no nationality, creed, race or gender.

  • There is no such thing as a Jewish soul or a Chinese soul or whatever. We are just souls, and as souls we are free to experience the whole variety of human cultures across the planet.
  • We choose our birth location, race and nationality to suit our purposes for any given lifetime. Sometimes race and creed are a deliberate choice; at other times they are merely incidental to what the life is about.
  • Because the soul learns through a process of “compare and contrast”, one who has just experienced a life as (say) an Israeli soldier might decide to be (say) a Palestinian orphan in the next.
  • There is no such thing as a male soul or a female soul. Gender is a biological phenomenon, not a spiritual one. Human beings are of two sexes and so we have to choose which one to be before each life begins.
  • Because we want to experience, compare and contrast all possible perspectives, we will choose to experience lives as both men and women. We can be male or female as often as we please. We can be male in one lifetime and female the next. Or we can be male for ten lifetimes and female for the next fifty lifetimes. It is all a matter of choice. Even if we have a strong preference for one gender, we will still tend to incarnate as the other gender every now and then, just to maintain a balanced perspective.

6. The soul sticks to one species at a time.

  • Contrary to certain teachings, the souls of human beings reincarnate only as human beings.
  • That’s not to say we did not experience life in simpler life forms before that. But at some point in our earlier evolution, we selected the human species as our vehicle of choice (no pun intended) to evolve as self-aware individuals.
  • The soul’s mission is to expand in consciousness, and there is no value for the soul already at the human level in experiencing life at a “sub-human” level of consciousness. There may be rare exceptions where a soul who is normally human experiments with being a dolphin, say, but as a rule we do not return as insects or cows or blades of grass or what have you. We are spiritual beings on a human journey, learning to be ourselves through human experiences, human relationships and human choices.

7. Each lifetime is pre-planned.

  • Before taking birth, the soul (along with its guides in spirit) will decide what experiences and choices the life should include.
  • The appropriate circumstances and relationships will be chosen and set up with the cooperation and agreement of other souls who will be involved.
    • For example, let’s say the soul wants to experience being compassionate towards children. The soul may decide that the life to come should include its own childhood experience of abandonment by the mother. This would help drive the personality in adult life to want to help abandoned children. Another soul will then agree, out of love, to be the mother who abandons this soul in childhood.
  • Most major events in life are pre-planned: the birth, the family, the school, the relationships, the career and so on. This includes deaths, accidents and illnesses. There is, however, plenty of room for unplanned things to occur. The choices we make on the ground matter far more than “destiny”.
  • The body is also chosen by the soul before birth. Souls are aware of which foetuses are viable and which are not, and which are going to be terminated before birth. (Hence, abortion is not really ‘murder’.)
  • Some lifetimes are explicitly set up for the soul to undergo a particular learning experience (such as being a teacher, for example), while some are actually undertaken for the benefit of others‘ learning experiences.
    • For example, we might opt to live a life as a much-loved child who suddenly dies while still young, purely in order to help another soul undergo the experience of tragic loss.

8. There is a law of karma…

  • … but it is not like many people think it is.
  • If soul A kills soul B in one lifetime, then in a later lifetime soul B will kill soul A. That is the effect of karma.
  • But karma is not (repeat not) about cosmic justice or divine retribution. From the perspective of Spirit, there is no need for cosmic justice because there is no such thing as cosmic injustice.
  • Karma is really about learning through “entanglement”. If I do something in physical life that violates your free will, we become entangled. We both feel the lack of equilibrium between us. It’s like we have become tied together by a rope. The only way to restore equilibrium is to undo the entanglement—by having you violate my free will in a similar way. That way, we both know from experience what it is like to be both the violator and the violated.
  • Souls tend to commit karmic acts in the early stages of their reincarnations when they have less experience of human existence.
  • Typical karmic acts are: murder, rape, dismemberment, imprisonment, abandonment.
  • In all cases, one person imposes something on another against the other’s will. There is no karmic entanglement for acts that are accidental or not by choice.

9. Reincarnation has a beginning and an end.

  • Contrary to certain teachings, we are not tied to a wheel of endless death and rebirth, to be saved only by renouncing the world and seeking spiritual liberation.
  • The whole journey of evolving through reincarnation begins with us at a certain level and ends once we reach another level. It takes (typically) well over 100 lifetimes. From first human life to last requires thousands of years, depending upon the availability of physical bodies.
  • In spirit, the whole path is clear to us and we know exactly what we are doing. Each lifetime is a deliberate adventure and is undertaken out of love and a desire to evolve.

10. There is no urgency.

  • Contrary to what many teach on the subject, there is no urgency for us to become enlightened, or to complete our reincarnational cycle.
  • It is not “better” to evolve quickly over a few lives than to evolve slowly over many lives.
  • Reincarnation is not a challenge to reach the end of evolution as quickly as possible.
  • We are not “caught” in the cycle of human death and rebirth.
  • The physical world is not a hell-hole to be climbed out of.
  • God is not wishing we would get a move on.
  • From the perspective of Spirit, there is no passage of time. Time is just a perceptual phenomenon for us while in physical form. Souls literally do not care how many thousands of years it takes to get from one level of reincarnation to another. The passage of time in human terms is, to the soul, irrelevant.

A final word

I would also add one more correction to certain teachings: souls do not normally reincarnate instantly after death. Usually there is a period of several years or decades between one life and the next, during which the soul recuperates, considers the lessons learned from the last life and plans its next one.


It should come as no surprise to learn that we have had a past life, or even many past lives. The only ones who haven’t lived a previous life are those at the very beginning of the reincarnational cycle. The only ones who aren’t coming back after this life are those at the very end of the cycle.

Reincarnation is the norm for all human beings. It is universal. It is what we are all doing here.

Further reading

For a useful perspective on the stages of reincarnation, see –

You can also check out all my blogposts tagged “reincarnation” , including these popular posts:

– barry

457 thoughts on “10 things everyone should know about reincarnation

  1. I lost my wife in an accident 6 weeks ago. I know this may be impossible but can her soul be reincarnated in a body that has already been born? I ask because she lost a baby(which she didn’t think she could get pregnant) reincarnant and we could be reunited to fulfill her desire? I believe we are soulmates and believe she would want us to have a child/family together.

    • Hello there, and my deep sympathies for your recent loss.
      I can give you my best answer, but I will first need to clarify what you are describing. Your wife has passed on, but there was also a baby that has not survived? I am not clear on which living body you are referring to. My apologies if it’s just my failure to understand.

    • My wife passed and she had a miscarriage approximately a month before she passed. We didn’t think she could get pregnant and we were trying again. I want to know if my wife’s soul could take the physical being of someone that is alive and we meet again In the near future so we can have a child/family together. Is this possible?

    • So you’re asking if your wife’s soul could come right back into the physical as an adult female. That would involve negotiating with an existing soul to exchange their body, i.e. exit back to the astral without going through the death sequence and hand the body over to another soul for the rest of its life.

      That would be extremely unusual, and a very tall order. For one thing, if it were to take place, all those who know the currently-alive female (her family and friends etc) would suddenly not recognise her at all, as she would be manifesting a new identity, the soul of your wife. They would have to suffer the bereavement you are now feeling.

      So I’m afraid I don’t see that happening. What is more likely would be that, if she is as keen to come back to you within your current life as you are to be with her again, she could incarnate as a newborn baby in your circle of family or friends (possibly even as your own daughter, assuming you are in a new relationship). But you can probably see the complications arising from such a scenario.

      The likeliest scenario is that this bereavement, the loss of one you love so much, was actually part of ‘the plan’ all along. We (as souls) literally set up these major life events before birth, together with the cooperation of others involved, as part of our own learning needs. She has presumably played her part, leaving you with the loss and the – truly awful – task of coping with it, making sense of it, and eventually finding a way to live with it, i.e. really LIVE your life to the full despite this loss.

      No matter how undesirable it seems from our human perspective, every life experience is ultimately of value to our souls – a blessing in disguise. But it may take years or even decades to get to see it that way.


  2. Hi Barry,

    First off I’d like to let you know that I’ve been reading your articles/blog posts for 2 days now 🙂 And may I say each and every word has helped me in co-operating with the recent loss of my loved one. We were in a relationship for 11 years; he was coming to meet me in physical this month (November’15) But he passed away on the night of 30th October’15.

    His death has left me devastated because I’m not sure how I can ever come to terms with what is. Every single night I spend hours just crying and hoping that he can hear me talking to him and letting him know that I love him.

    What sucks is that we’ve never met in the physical. I know we both were dying to meet one another. I just hope in the next life time we will get to reunite once again and fulfill our wishes and dreams together. Would that be possible? I know this all happened for a reason, he taught me how to love myself…because he loved me unconditionally without ever judging me.

    I have been trying to increase my vibration by meditating every day so that I’d be able to communicate with him and learn more about myself, my higher self and my purpose in this life. I don’t know if I’m doing anything I shouldn’t be doing. But I so badly need reassurance that he’s still with me…even if it’s in spirit.

    God bless you for sharing your knowledge with everyone.

    Best Wishes,

    • Hi there

      First, I am sorry to hear of your loss.

      Second, as I recently said to someone else in a similar position, your beloved hasn’t really gone anywhere. He’s just whooshed out of that body he was using, and has by now no doubt found himself back in the great realm of eternal love and beauty that is always our home between our brief human lives. He will by now remember who ‘he’ is – not just as a guy who lived until 2015 but as a great being of light, integral to the very fabric of this ever-evolving reality, as we all are.

      But his consciousness is still ‘here’, i.e. everywhere, and especially in your heart. Whenever you focus your awareness on your love for him, he will know it. If you want to communicate to him, he will get it.

      If he wants to communicate to you, that’s rather more tricky as most of us (while in human form) are not well attuned to non-physical input. We are usually too distracted by physical goings-on. The best opportunity that non-physical souls have for communicating with us while we remain in physical form is in our dream state. You may want to pay a lot more attention to your dreams.

      Another ‘popular’ form of communication from the non-physical to the physical is the use of meaningful signs and coincidences, such as repeatedly seeing his name or his birthday or a keyword you both knew. It’s like a way of saying “Yep, me again. I’m still here. And it’s all good. So don’t worry.”

      I am struck by the fact that you say you and he never physically met. Do I take it, then, that this was a love relationship that developed online?

      The timing of his passing is also striking and probably significant. In cases of a love relationship where one tragically dies ‘too soon’, leaving the other bereft and devastated, there is usually a grand plan at work. I don’t mean a plan in the sense of a bizarrely cruel cosmic plan set up by God. I mean that the soul of you and the soul of him will almost certainly have planned this whole thing out together before either of you were even born.

      This is what we all do prior to each lifetime. We plan our upcoming life events, experiences, challenges and choices, in cooperation with others who will play their part. These are known as agreements. We set agreements with one another to come along at just the right moment — and, in many cases, to also leave at just the right moment. It might sound odd that we, as immortal souls, make plans to have physical experiences that will take us, as human personalities, by surprise, but that is precisely what life is all about. We set ourselves the very challenges we want to experience.

      A sudden death is usually part of a mutually-agreed plan. Not all lives are designed to extend as far as old age. Many are designed to play a specific role and then stop.

      At the personality level, while we are stumbling about inside this ‘game-world’, we will experience such departures as sudden and tragic — a mysterious illness or an unfortunate accident. But it’s how we then make sense of and come to terms with such experiences that is, precisely, their purpose.

      Shorty after we return to the non-physical, we come to remember who we are (as souls) and how we set up the life just lived, and why. So I suspect that he will be looking upon you now with great love and compassion, knowing that this was something you planned together, and knowing that what YOU choose to take from the whole experience is the only thing about it that matters.

      Rest assured, though, that love never dies. I have a strong suspicion that you two have loved each other for a lot longer than 11 years, and will continue to do so forever.


    • Lovely reply 🙂 I lost my partner in October last year (2014), she committed suicide having finally lost her battle with depression. It hurt me and still does but I take solace and comfort from knowing she can’t hurt herself anymore. I know she comes around from time to time, I just intuitively “feel” it. I am currently sitting in a mediumship development circle trying to develop my own intuitive psychic abilities. The thing I’m struggling to grasp is the difference between our soul and our spirit.

      To clarify this a little, it is inferred on this site and in the Michael Teachings that we, die and our soul or consciousness goes back to the spirit realm where we stay “between lives” until we reincarnate. If this is so then surely there is a chance that our loved one will reincarnate before we ourselves die and that we will not meet? Reading further on this subject gives still further conflicting ideas.One such book I recently read implies that the “soul” remains in the spirit realm and sends another spirit to have another life experience, when this spirit returns to the spirit realm or soul, the soul send another spirit off to have another life experience. In fact the soul could have multiple life experiences indefinitely. Therefore you live, you die and your spirit or the very essence of you remains in the spirit realm forever but your soul (of which you are part) continues having these life experiences in the form of different spirits. If this is the case then in theory, we will meet again with our loved ones as they will never leave the spirit realm.

      So, if this is the case, then we will not meet our loved ones in another lifetime as it were as the “we” that has had one life will never reincarnate? Does this make any sense, I’m trying my best to explain it but it’s not easy! Furthermore, reading the teachings of conscientiology suggest still different ideas about the soul, spirit and consciousness. It’s all very confusing! I would like to think that one day I will be back with my partner or that we both reincarnate and have a second shot as it were. Whatever the truth is, I just “know” that she has not gone completely and I love her now as much as when she was here in the physical and although I’ve loved before and will again I will always love her. Thank you in advance of your answer Barry, your comments are always enlightening.

      Kind Regards,


    • Hi Steve

      Not everyone makes a distinction between ‘soul’ and ‘spirit’, though some people/schools insist upon it. But there is no consistent definition that I am aware of.

      My perspective drawing from the Michael teachings is this:

      * ‘spirit’ is synonymous with essence, which is energetic and ‘essentially’ unchanging.
      * ‘soul’ is the consciousness of essence that is in the process of individuation.

      Our essence is therefore unchanging, a constant, and integrated with the very essence of the divine.

      Our soul is what develops as a unique instance (fragment) of that spirit/essence, gradually evolving through levels of consciousness, eventually to know the absolute oneness of self and others with the divine.

      (Do bear in mind that these definitions of terms from the Michael teachings may utterly contradict how the same terms are used elsewhere. There is no cosmic dictionary of correct terms and definitions!)

      Each soul is like a fragment of a great hologram, the divine, containing all-in-one. But the individual soul doesn’t actually know itself as divine and all-in-one until it evolves in consciousness to the point at which it is capable of knowing that, and being it.

      So spirit or essence is a fundamental energetic quality, a specific way in which the divine thrusts itself (himself / herself) into existence, and it is constant. But any given ‘fragment’ of that can evolve through levels of consciousness.

      In the Michael teachings, we might speak of someone being of an Old Warrior for example. This means that this particular soul has (or rather, *is*) the archetypally proactive and combative quality of essence known as the Warrior type (or ‘Role in Essence’), while at the same time in terms of consciousness, this particular soul has currently evolved to the 5th stage (‘Old Soul’).

      You can also draw a parallel with the wave/particle thing — the great mystery of quantum physics. All light energy is BOTH a continuous field of electromagnetic energy at different wavelengths AND a stream of separate particles shooting through space in straight lines, like bullets. Both appearances are true at the same time. We can draw an analogy between light-as-one-field with essence or spirit, and light-as-many-particles with individual souls or fragments.

      So when I talk here about evolving individual fragments, I use the word soul; when I talk about their innate energetic nature that is constant, I use the word spirit or essence.

      As souls, we incarnate precisely in order to EXPERIENCE our apparent separation into discrete individual ‘particles’ (fragments). That is, our CONSCIOUSNESS locks into a human body for the duration of a lifespan. Our perceptions and actions are then constrained by the laws of physics, the limitations of the human body, and so on. We must then make our own choices within those constraints.

      As we reincarnate and evolve, it’s as if we (as embodied conscious souls) are simply trying to catch up with who and what we are as essence — to become conscious of our infinite potential, and to enjoy exploring it.

      Our essence, however, doesn’t actually go anywhere when we incarnate. It is an integral part of the divine – the infinite field of pure light. Our essence is not subject to earthly constraints. It’s above all that, always was and always will be.

      In a sense, we never leave the spirit realm at all. When we are born, our soul projects a portion of its energy and consciousness into the chosen physical body. That consciousness remains there so long as the body is awake and active, but it can slip out while the body is asleep. So even though some of our soul-consciousness and life force is “locked in” at the physical sharp end, the bigger part of us remains in a non-physical state of rest. This bigger and truer part of us never leaves the spirit realm.

      So to turn to your question, “surely there is a chance that our loved one will reincarnate before we ourselves die and that we will not meet?”

      A very good chance. But it doesn’t actually matter in the way that you might fear.

      As a rule, every person’s death sequence is orchestrated and individually tailored so that they *always* get greeted by those they love the most, if that is what will be of most help and reassurance to them. It is standard procedure that those we love most in this life will be there (in soul/spirit) to greet us as we rejoin the realm of light.

      This will include long-dead relatives of course, but it can also include those who have gone back ‘down there’. You might think “how is that possible? How can they be in two places at once?”, but the only part of them that is ‘down there’ on planet Earth is that part of their consciousness that is currently identified with being that person. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of who they really are. Their essence, remember, isn’t on planet Earth at all; it’s literally everywhere. When we are speaking of the essence of who and what we really are, the limitations of time and space don’t come into it. They belong to a different realm.

      It might also help to know that those who greet us can take any form they wish. (There is no fixed or solid form in the realm of light; appearances are images based on thoughts and mental projections.) You might meet your with your long-dead but much loved grandma, for example. Now, that “grandma” persona is just how *you* happen to remember her from *your* life. But of course that particular soul was so much more than just your grandma in *her* life, and in fact she has been so very much more across many more lives — male and female. Nevertheless, when that soul comes to greet you, ‘she’ will quite happily appear to you as your grandma knowing that this is the very image you will instantly recognise her as and respond to. (You will also see her in perfect health and happiness, not arthritic or suffering from cancer or whatever troubled her in life — there is no need to re-create anything that could evoke concern.)

      It’s all about reassurance for our benefit as we adjust to being ‘dead’.

      Right after we die, even though we detach from our physical bodies and leave them behind, our consciousness is initially still very much identified with the life just lived. Some are often very confused at this point. There is an adjustment process to go through as we not only reorient ourselves to being non-physical but also recollect our soul memories. First, we are greeted and escorted by loved ones who reassure us that it’s all good. Second, we review the life just gone and assimilate all there is to learn from it. Then we can finally let go and open up to the fullness of our eternal being. The grand vista of our past lives and future plans becomes clear to us once more.

      There is another analogy I like to use. Who we really are in essence is like a kid who plays a lot of online games. Each game is a human lifetime. We set certain goals before starting each new game, hoping to “level up” or whatever, and maybe team up with some of our favourite fellow gamers. As the game unfolds, even though we may think we are just shooting zombies or whatever, we are (at a more subtle level) learning more and more about ourselves. When we are between games, we pick up on those insights, then choose how to play the next game. But while we are in a game, we are usually so involved and distracted that we cannot recall the fact that we are really just a kid playing games. We become completely identified with our current character.

      You hope that you will be able to come back into human life with your partner. That is perfectly valid. In fact, I would say that the bigger picture is rather more exciting than that:

      You, the soul who is now identified as ‘Steve’, made an arrangement before you were born with one of your many beloved soul mates. The arrangement was for this soul mate to be Steve’s partner in this life. But it wouldn’t be one of those “happily ever after” relationships where you meet, get married, stay together and die together. That would be far too simple and straightforward for you – besides, you’ve probably done that already. And in any case, this particular soul mate is working through issues to do with self-worth, and there is a very high chance of suicide (again!) as they face some recurring old challenges. So they would love it if you would be their partner this time around as they go through all that. So the arrangement was made by both of you with utmost love for one another, and for your mutual benefit.

      Now you’re at that stage of the game where it’s one year following your partner’s suicide. She has now gone through her after-death sequence, regained her full consciousness as a soul, and is now basking in the light with many other soul mates who are there. She is also keenly aware of how you are getting on, and may be offering encouragement in some way. But she also knows very well that you are facing the life you have chosen to face for your own good reasons.

      And she knows that our very purpose in coming here is all about the choices we all make while we think we are alone, ‘stuck’ in these limited bodies.

      So when things appear to go wrong, do we fall into some darkness of despair? Or do we choose to seek more and more our own light, and radiate that light in this life, and see the same light in others?

      When you eventually leave this life, you will meet up with her – in great love – and discuss how it was for both of you, especially how it was for her before she took her own life and how it was for you after she left. You will learn what you can from each other, and then think about maybe doing it again. Not necessarily the same way exactly. The field is wide open for any relationship pattern you might wish to explore. Being “lovers” is just one of them. But love will always be at the heart of it.

    • This may be a comforting theory to some, but where is the foundation of it? Why would any soul choose to either experience or commit some of the heinous horrors of earthly life? If there is free will, then why wouldn’t one simply choose to opt out of reincarnation instead?

    • Some reading suggestions, if you’re actually interested. Ignore if not.

      Journey of Souls by Michael Newton
      Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani
      Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz
      Consciousness Beyond Life by Pim van Lommel
      Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss

    • Hi Barry 🙂

      Thank you so much for replying to my comment with so much kindness and understanding. Reading what you wrote, opened my heart and mind in such a beautiful way. Thank you, thank you very much! I feel peaceful in a way when I think about how all this was probably in our contract…we agreed upon this before we came into this life as who we are.

      And in answer to your question, yes we met online it was so strange how quickly we bonded. After we met, we also discovered that we had the same birthday!, just different years. We had to be very careful with our relationship because we were of different race/ ethnicity too. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but there was so much faith that we would make things work.

      We had this unexplainable pull towards one another it would baffle the both of us a lot of times. Just a few days before he passed away, he typed this message to me…word by word.

      “There’s something about you that draws me like a magnet. I can’t explain it and I’m not even going to try. I wish I could go back into my previous life to see what happened with you and me. It must have been one hell of a relationship because we are back together again. Think about that one. It is kind of eerie isn’t it?”

      We said we’d try to find out the answers together. Well he does have all the answers now! Sooner or later I will find out the reason behind all this too.

      I know one thing for sure that I am not done with him yet! Once we learn everything about ourselves we will reunite because we belong to the same light.

      I was not into spirituality, until he passed away. I went looking for answers and came across the concept of “twin flames” all that directed me to spirituality. Everything happens for a reason. And you know last night, I felt such a warm and peaceful presence around me, I think it was him….because he even visited me in my dreams. 🙂

      Once again Barry, thank you 🙂

      Lots of good wishes!

      P.S: Do you think twin souls exist?

  3. So interesting. I’ve long believed in past lives. Sadly, I battle depression and don’t enjoy life at all. I’m hoping I don’t have to reincarnate once this life is over, but I fear that I will be “forced” to because my life has been so unfulfilling. 🙁

    • ((((Jo)))) Could be just the opposite. I’m thinking that because you’re not very “attached” to earthly life, if you focus on giving and helping others, and avoid harming yourself and others, you’ll have evolved and may not have to come back again at all.

    • Hi, Abby..

      Happy New Year to you. I’m sorry. I’m just seeing your comment. *hugsss back* 🙂

      That sounds great the way you put it about not having to come back. That said, I’ve been told that once I transition, I may feel differently about not wanting to reincarnate, especially if my soul doesn’t feel “complete”. It stinks, but I also understand that I’m looking at things from an ego perspective, not as spirit ungoverned by the ego. I just hope that if I “have” to come back that my next life is much better than this one.


    • I hope the same, Jo, for both of us! Wishing you (and all) a Happy, Healthy, and Peace-filled New Year!

    • Hi Jo

      You won’t be forced to reincarnate at all. But you will WANT to do so, especially if you have found this life unfulfilling.

      When this life is over you won’t be depressed, you’ll be elated as you leave behind your earthly personality and return to the light of love that is your true essence. However, whatever tendencies you have to experience depression while in human form will still be there until you find a way to deal with them. Knowing yourself to be joyous in your natural state between lives, you will be more and more determined to overcome those tendencies for depression and bring your joy through into your human life.

      It might be helpful to reframe your current life as an ideal opportunity to find a way to overcome depression — physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.


    • Thank you, Barry. It’s good to know that my earthly mental and emotional afflictions won’t “follow” me into the spirit world. I’ve often read mixed messages regarding that. What makes you so knowledgeable? Have you had an NDE? Are you a medium?

      Me, I’m not a medium, but I communicate with a spirit friend through a medium friend of mine and he, like you, told me the same thing about reincarnation. He said everything is a choice, but if your soul doesn’t feel complete, it will want to reincarnate, again. Whenever I tell him I don’t want to come back he reminds me that I may feel differently when I transition (which to my human mind, stinks).

      As for the depression, I lost my father to it years ago and I’ve tried meds and therapy to no avail. I just have this constant sense that I don’t belong here. My true home is in the spirit world and I’m stuck in this place, instead (literally and figuratively). I had an Akashic Records reading a few months ago and was told that I’m an artist and musician soul who incarnated to heal humanity with my music, but due to feeling depressed and unmotivated most of the time, it’s been very slow going as far as trying to do what my guides suggested.

      Anyway, sorry for the long response, Barry. Thank you for giving me a little hope, though, that my life in spirit won’t mirror my earthly one.. xx

  4. Hi Barry 🙂

    My 3 kids were killed in February 2015 man ran a red light hit all 4 of us in the crosswalk (pedestrian vs truck) 🙁 I am curious as to when or if they will reincarnate they were only 8,5&4 suffered quiet a bit of trauma but died instantly on impact. They didn’t have much karma in this life time. I just want my babies back and I don’t know if I will ever get that. This is so confusing and I’m really interested in this topic. Tips, Input, Anything is welcome.

    Thank You & Much Love


    • Dear Cortney,

      I just wanted to say how terribly sorry I am for your devastating loss. 🙁 *huge hugss* I can’t even imagine how I would deal with such an unimaginable heartbreak. :'(

      I can’t answer for Barry, however there is a book a bought years ago called, “Across Time and Death: A mother’s search for her past life children”, that I think you would find of some comfort. It’s the true story of an English woman who remembered a past life in Ireland in the early part of the 20th century. She goes on to visit the place where she lived and eventually “reunites” with her surviving past life children (who are all considerably older than she, of course). The author is Jenny Cockell, and you can find her story on YouTube.

      It may not entirely represent what you’re asking /desiring at this moment, but it is undeniable proof that we reincarnate and that our connections with our loved ones are never truly lost. On a personal note, for at least 3 years I have been in contact with a spirit I have had a past life with. I learned about him through a medium friend. I am not clairvoyant so I would never have known were it not for her. There were things he relayed about me that he would have never known, but he says that he is “tapped into” my energy, so that’s how he’s able to “read” who I am. It has been a fascinating journey getting to know him and about the spirit world.

      The body is the only thing that falls away upon death, but we as energy beings never die. Your children are always around you. As energy, we can be everywhere and anywhere. As far as karma, I know that some spiritual works speak of pre-birth “contracts”. I haven’t asked my spirit friend about that, but it makes sense to me because there are no accidents regarding when or how you transition. From what I understand, everything has a purpose, and it usually involves the soul’s growth and/or the growth of other souls involved. Karma also “follows” you from other lives, so it’s not just “present” karma we may be dealing with that needs to be balanced or “worked out”.

      Anyway, Cortney, I don’t know if I’ve been of any help, but I wanted to express my deepest, sincerest sympathies regarding the loss of your children…and I hope you find some comfort in the fact that they are never truly “lost” to you. They remain as much a part of you and you of them as they always have, and I truly believe you will be reunited with them, again.

      Much love and hugs to you,
      Jo XOXO

    • Thank you Jo your comment has given me something more to look into. My father has got me interested in learning where my kids are and what they are doing. He was meditating sometime after the accident and my oldest son John came through and was saying “OPA” over and over until my dad finally answers him saying “Hi John how are you?” My son told him they were good that they were resting and we’re going to go to school my dad asks how my daughter McKenzie is and John said she was good she was resting but that she was good when my dad asked about my youngest Tyler John said he had to rest longer cause he was really tired. My dad had asked if they were resting cause of how they died he said “yes”. What my dad didn’t/doesn’t know is that when my kids were hit my youngest Tyler got the worst of it but they all had really bad head traumas and other injuries. That’s when I started getting interested in reincarnation and wondering when or if my kids would ever be my kids again. Their life was short with me I don’t feel like they had enough time to truly see what a great mom I could have been. I struggle with depression and I have been on many pills to have to stop cause they make me suicidal. I finally got on a good pill and never had the time to really let it kick in before we were hit. Now what I don’t understand is WHY would I be rejected from entering the astral planes with my kids I saw the light was heading there and a hand was put in front of my face basically as if it was telling me NO it’s not your time. I don’t know any mediums or else I’d be asking them lots and lots of questions you’re lucky. This has been my life for 11 months this month on the 22nd I am desperate for answers and meaning and I just can’t find them anywhere. I started reading Dolores Cannon’s Between Death & Life: Conversations With A Spirit ( Great Read ) it makes sense but I feel what they’re saying is there is no heaven I won’t ever be with my kids again and that breaks my heart💔. I’m rambling now but I’m 27 and just super confused so I appreciate you taking the time and helping me. Thank you



    • Hi, Cortney..

      *HUGE HUGS*

      I don’t know of the book you speak of, hon ‘. I will look into it, though, thank you.

      As for Heaven.. Heaven exists, but more as a state of mind than an actual place. It’s not in the clouds or sky the way some religions express. It’s actually right HERE all around us. My spirit friend said it’s separated by a thin veil. Animals can see this veil. I imagine clairvoyants can, too.

      I’m actually not so lucky to have contact with a spirit as it’s dependent on another person. Should I finally be able to successfully meditate, I could meet my spirit friend and learn who I was to him. I’ve not been able to do that in all this time.

      As for your father, it appears obvious that he has this “gift” to be able to meditate and communicate with your son. Perhaps he can ask John why you were pre-contracted to remain on the Earth plane while he and his siblings transitioned. I know that it is incredibly difficult as humans with an ego to come to terms with very tragic circumstances, but please remember that everything happened/happens for a reason. You may not fully grasp the extent of why until you yourself transition, however I think it’s very promising that your Dad has communicated with your son because perhaps you won’t have to wait till then for an answer. They say everything we need to know is within us if we’d just get quiet.. so I would follow your father’s lead and spend time in meditation as often as possible. In doing so, you may well find the answers and the healing that you need. You are a beautiful brave soul who elected to have this experience, and I’ve no doubt that your children are well aware just what a great mother you are. They don’t stop being your children because they exist in another dimension, and you, of course, do not stop being their Mom. 🙂 Talk to them often and meditate. They hear you and they love you.

      Send me a pm through my website below if you ever need to talk, dear. xx

    • Ah, that’s because comments with URLs are filtered as possible spam – I have to manually approve
      Should be ok now

    • Hi Cortney. Very sorry for ur loss. I cant even imagine what u r going through.
      My sister died last month. I am also looking for lot of answers. I beg you to plz inform me to abt any knowlegde u get..

    • That suggests that your sister had not yet dropped her human personality at the time of the communication.

      When we die, the first thing that happens is our consciousness exits the dead body. At this point, only the body is lost; our human mind, ego and personality are still intact. Some people – floating around as disembodied consciousness – can’t understand (or won’t accept) that their life is over. These are “ghosts”. They tend to hang around the people and places that are familiar to them.

      At the moment that a disembodied consciousness accepts that he/she is no longer physically alive, their after-death journey begins. A key part of this is the “life review”, where the soul watches and considers the life it has just lived. Once this is over and the lessons have been assimilated , the personality/ego of that life is no longer needed. The consciousness then recovers its much greater identity as an evolving soul, with full memory of past lives.

      The desire for revenge is entirely a function of the distorted perceptions and emotions of the human mind. It cannot exist in the realm of souls, the realm of light and love, where everything is instantly forgiven because everything is instantly understood.

      Hence, no soul ever returns to incarnation with “revenge” in mind.

  5. You wrote: “Contrary to what many teach on the subject, there is no urgency for us to become enlightened…”
    Maybe not to become enlightened, but [and according to Newton’s book] there is some pressure from your primary soul group to advance at least as fast as them or you run the risk to being left behind… ??

    Another point you make “souls do not normally reincarnate instantly after death. Usually there is a period of several years or decades between one life and the next, during which the soul recuperates,..”

    – I have reasons to believe I have reincarnated three times in the 20th century – is it possible that my soul has not had time to recuperate after my last two incarnations? The last one as few as 7 or maybe less years in-between lives.

    • Hi Alonndra,
      Thanks for your input. I don’t think those points contradict what I’ve said – I’ve stated some general rules and you’ve mentioned some exceptions to those.

      There is still no “urgency” to become enlightened (as many teach) even if we are lagging behind the rest of our soul group in terms of life lessons. I could be the most advanced in my soul group but many a guru would still be telling me I need to get enlightened as soon as possible.

      I said “usually” regarding the gap between lives. But I think I should perhaps add that things are speeding up at the moment – souls are keen to come back and participate in these times of change, thus spending less time in the astral interval.

      Interesting to hear of your own recent lives. In fact, I’ve been told that my present birth occurred 5 years BEFORE my previous death. I’m doing a two-life stint. How that works I’ve no idea, but I do feel like I have not yet assimilated the lessons of the previous life. My sense is that I came into this life feeling reluctant and bewildered rather than recuperated, so perhaps that is also true for you?


    • I did not say there is pressure to become enlightened – I said (according to Newton) the person feels the need to follow the group in terms of being at the same level (which is diff. from attaining enlightening) –

      As for reincarnating too fast I was regressed once and I seemed to have died (as a teenager) in a concentration camp in WWII, but my most vivid sense of a previous life comes from the time around 1914 and I don’t feel I have come reluctantly this time, but maybe a little too fast/soon – my life during WWII was short so I don’t think it is a matter on a non-assimilation (from that life). However I have strong feelings about the previous (WWI) life – unresolved issues as you mentioned and a feeling I am still living in that life –sometimes – it is weird and I can’t talk about it to other people or run the risk of being considered a bit crazy.

  6. i lost a close friend while on holidays in Spain on our 1st night there he fell from a balcony, however a few years later i had a dream that he was outside my window asking me to if i was going to the shop( this was a regular occurrence when he was alive), we were walking to the shop and all i kept saying to him was he had died and he was no that i was mad, i woke up the next morning vividly remembering the dream i had, thinking how strange it was but on my way to work that morning i was nearly hit by an oncoming car who had been overtaking, was my friend warning me or something else

    • My guess is that your near-miss was planned all along as a possible exit opportunity, an accident that could end your life if you wanted out at that stage. Your friend’s appearance seems to have been a “reminder” that this was coming. In other words, “if you want to keep going in this life, watch out for that car tomorrow.”

  7. Hi Barry,

    In 2001, 5 days after the 9/11 attacks, I was born. My mother always says I was a miracle child and that I was presumed dead at birth until the 16th, when I “started breathing”. I also sometimes retain memories that have never happened/ and or have lost some. Is this a sign?

  8. Good evening.
    I have some things in my mind and never seem to find an answer.
    Matter of fact, i am starting to believe im going a little crazy.
    So, I think I am sort of “connected” with a woman.
    This never happened to me, but I feel attached to this person who I never met (she died 4 years before I was born) for appearently no reasons.
    I am (or used to be?) The most rational girl on heart before I knew about this person..then all my perspectives changed! I can never explain with words what I feel or mean, but I will try.
    It feels horrible. I miss this person like I knew her, like we spent a lifetime together and sudenly I found myself without her. I seem to loose the perception of reality if I ever happen to be looking at a photograph, like I knew every shade of her before. They told me we had more or less, the same personality and view of things. We shared some really alike esperiences.
    I keep having dreams of her. Actually, it goes months where I dream about her and months where I don’t. And they are all so real, like i am really there, and usually black and White (i never had a black and White dream before)one i remember most, where she looked at me in the eyes, for a second, and I thought (yes, because I think while dreaming) i thought: i knew it, I knew we looked in the eyes before! (its much more longer, but I cant write too much). To sum it up, i really feel this connection. And i never talk about this because i cant find the right words.
    My real question is: she died more than 25 years ago, and I am afraid, really, that she will incarnate before we can possibly meet. Or that maybe, she already is (but why do i keep dreaming?) I hope with all my heart that I’ll meet her, but Im afraid I wont.
    Also, I cannot be 100% sure if she is aware of my existence. How do I know? We never met in life. But I think about her everytime, i pray that shes Finally happy and send her love. But I am never sure if she feels it or not.
    Thank you for reading this.
    This website really helped.

    • Hi Harriet

      I hope you get enough of a bigger perspective here (and elsewhere) to feel reassured that you’re not going crazy.

      At first, I could see two possibilities. One, perhaps she was you in your former life. Your dreams would then be memories of being her. This would suggest that you died 25 years ago and were then reborn 21 years ago.

      But I actually think this is unlikely because I don’t get how you would MISS this person so much if she was actually you. It doesn’t sound right. Usually people who have such memories might miss their husband or parents from that former life, but they don’t MISS that very person as though it were someone else they once knew.

      So the second possibility is that she is a very close soul mate of yours who you intuitively “recognise”. I suspect this is the case. Perhaps you were even her lover — of either gender — in that previous life? (Presumably if so, you died some time before she did.)

      It reminds me of how a Canadian woman started “missing” John Lennon after he was shot, for no apparent reason – but it seems that she had been very close to him in at least two former lives (prior to his existence as John Lennon), and probably many others. See – http://personalityspirituality.net/2009/07/13/all-you-need-is-love-book-review/ and http://personalityspirituality.net/2011/10/13/out-now-the-lennon-bronte-connection-the-new-book-by-jewelle-st-james/

      What I’m hearing is the very human fear telling you that you could miss an opportunity to be together again. We can panic at the thought of not meeting our closest loved ones. But it’s a bit like fearing that if you don’t meet up with your best friend in a bar tonight, you might never see that friend again, whereas in fact you can just as easily meet up tomorrow or any other day you like.

      As humans, we see things from a perspective where all things (and people) are fundamentally separate, and we yearn to get together with someone despite that fundamental separateness.

      But as souls, we see things from a higher and clearer perspective. We know that all things are always fundamentally connected and united in love.

      And we develop some of our connections with certain others into conscious loving relationships. These bonds of love can be played out in physical form (with all sorts of limitations — age differences, cultural differences, and so on), or they can be enjoyed directly in the non-physical realm with no limitations at all.

      We sometimes incarnate with those we are very close to, and we sometimes don’t. It’s our free choice.

      These things seem strange and bewildering to us on the earth plane while in human form, but between lives it is all very clear and obvious to us.

      You may well be extremely close to this other soul and have probably lived in human lives with “her” (and “him” too) on multiple occasions. This could be in all sorts of relationships – you could be lovers in one century, teacher and student in another, sisters in another, brothers-in-arms in another, and so on…

      The bigger picture is, you two will always know each other, will always see each other between lives, and will always have the chance to be with each other in human form if you so choose. You’ve probably had many lives together and will probably have many more.

      I don’t know if you have planned to be with each other in THIS lifetime of yours, but if so then you inevitably will, and if you haven’t then you won’t, and if that’s the case it’s actually no big deal because you will always be in touch with this soul in the eternity that is our life between lives – and in the stillness that is in the depths of your current consciousness, your heart.

      If there is a plan for you to be together somehow in this life, then it will have probably been planned by you both while non-physical, before your current birth. It’s possible that your dreams now are “reminding” you that this is the case, that “she” is about to incarnate again into your current life. So, maybe just keep an eye out for any babies or kids coming into your life in the near future. (But do remember, “she” could return as a boy.)

      If there is no plan for you to be together in this life, then consider that your dreams are giving you access to “her”. If one soul mate is incarnate while another is between lives, they can still get together in the incarnate soul’s dream-time. In fact, this may be exactly what is happening in your dreams right now. While your human body is in deep sleep your soul-consciousness is, for whatever reason, meeting up with this particular soul mate.

      I would add that you might also be able to commune with this soul mate in quiet moments by holding your attention on them. What you express, they will hear and feel. And if she’s in a new body at the moment, I’m sure that your loving signals are helpful and reassuring at some level.

      Final word – I’m not psychic so it might help you to get a reading from a psychic or medium where you can ask about all this. (If you do this, just be sure to use some discretion – go for one with a good solid reputation.)

      ‘Scuse the ramble, but there seemed to be a lot worth saying 🙂

    • Hi Barry, Thank you for the answer.
      This truly helps.
      I really really really hope you’re right, but as a hopeless human being as I am I will never be sure unless she comes down here and tell me: yes, thats all true, ya dumb!
      However, I guess its wise to follow more what we feel inside, instead of being persuaded by what society thaught us.
      Matter of fact, there is some more interesting fact: this woman was not born in the same country as me, so obviously she spoke a different language. What is weird is that, believe me or not at the age of 13 I was able to speak this language almost fluently. This language is not even close to my mother tongue, in fact its a nordic language while mine is latin. And also I never ever studied it in my life. The only thing I used to do when a child was listning to songs, nothing more. My family think I am sort of a genius, Nothing more far from reality! (By 13 I still didnt know about the woman, I “knew” her a year later).
      As for the medium thing, I would like to expose all this to one, but I have no idea where to find one who is valid.

      Thank you again for your time.

  9. All is good in that article, except that bit that says that we don’t reincarnate as aliens. That’s not true. While we tend to stick to a single species over a period of time, we do occasionally reincarnate as an alien. In one of my past life hypnosis, I was such an alien, in a planet that was a bit worse than ours.

  10. Hi, just to add that in fact the truth of the matter is that not all souls are treated the same way. Yes, some get to choose, or think they have a choice, but the majority of us are forced to reincarnate repeatedly and relentlessly. You do not have all the information before incarnating. I would not have chosen this life. I do not want to incarnate again. Many don’t. More than a million people commit suicide every year. Why do you think that is? And souls do have a gender. When a girl soul is incarnated as a boy, most manifest as gay. Once all your life force energy has been used up, once you are so damaged and broken as a soul, they recycle you, throw you in a ‘wood chipper’ and the mush is used to make ‘new souls’. Where do you think the new souls come from? Just to say there is MUCH more going on ….

    • Hi Barry, I have been looking for the truth for 4 decades. Its come to me here and there. Sometimes you get the same answer repeatedly. It started as a child for me, feeling at a fundamental level that something was not right. I have also had nightmares of previous lives all my life. They are different from dreams and stay with me. I can remember these dreams from when I was 5. All my past lives seem to have been horrible. If its all love and flowers, and you chose and embrace your ‘new life’ every time, why are so many people unhappy, so many chose to end their unbearable lives? I personally believe that I don’t need to suffer to grow. I’m not an animal. Its a barbaric system. robert monroe, an OBE pathfinder, said that there are entities that feed off our pain and suffering. Extreme caution necessary….

    • …many people who can remember between-life-memories also indicate that they were happy there and were first asked to incarnate again, and when they refused, they were forced. there are also many reports that the tunnel of light is a trap, and should be resisted and avoided

  11. Very nice explanation of karma. In my opinion it can be further completed, but I guess it was not the author’s intention to say everything in this article, and rather give an introduction to it. E.g. karmic connections can be positive ones too (or did I miss that part?)

    • What’s known as “philanthropic karma”, where you increase another’s freedom in life rather than decrease it – tends to feature more in the later stages; the earlier stages focus more on the lessons of doing harm.

  12. Btw I find this site and all the articles *very* useful, so I want to thank for sharing it! Whether one believes in reincarnation or not, it helps to have a self-reflection and knowing oneself better. Big thanks!

  13. Hi berry i dont think that all u say is right abt souls. Then how do u explain ghosts.. and i have a personal experience with the ghost of my sister who died just last month. She communicated and she told us the teuth abt her death. And she badly wanted to be avenged. Acoording to ur theory why a soul wants to be avenged, it will just take revenge in its next life according to ur theory.. and for the record the information that she provided was right. We checked..

    • That suggests that your sister had not yet dropped her human personality at the time of the communication.

      When we die, the first thing that happens is our consciousness exits the dead body. At this point, only the body is lost; our human mind, ego and personality are still intact. Some people – floating around as disembodied consciousness – can’t understand (or won’t accept) that their life is over. These are “ghosts”. They tend to hang around the people and places that are familiar to them.

      At the moment that a disembodied consciousness accepts that he/she is no longer physically alive, their after-death journey begins. A key part of this is the “life review”, where the soul watches and considers the life it has just lived. Once this is over and the lessons have been assimilated , the personality/ego of that life is no longer needed. The consciousness then recovers its much greater identity as an evolving soul, with full memory of past lives.

      The desire for revenge is entirely a function of the distorted perceptions and emotions of the human mind. It cannot exist in the realm of souls, the realm of light and love, where everything is instantly forgiven because everything is instantly understood.

      Hence, no soul ever returns to incarnation with “revenge” in mind.

    • U juat makez it sound like our life is just some life to a freeking soul who doesn’t want to contact us in any harah situation but it just want us to survive the struggle. Rso u r suggesting that we r just puppets of freaking almighty who justwants to learn from our pain and suffering.. wow that makes perfect sense. Then everyone should jUST commit siucide and just go ti the state of bliss..

    • I don’t think I make it sound like that at all. I think you are reading it that way because your human mind/ego, which believes it is running the show, is horrified by the idea that it isn’t. “If I’m not controlling me, then WHO IS?!?”

      First, your soul isn’t some mysterious entity that hangs around, making your life difficult. You ARE that soul. You are currently identified with being a personality called Bhavesh because that is what you, as a soul, have intended to do. But let go of your personality and ego (even just briefly, like in deep meditation), and you discover that really you are a powerful consciousness with a longing to do things but certainly not under any duress.

      It’s like you’re playing a computer game that has some difficult levels, but the rewards for getting through those levels are great. So you’re up for the challenge and you dive in. But then while you’re struggling through those difficult levels, forgetting who you really are and why you are here, you start wondering “What evil supernatural bastard forced me to do this?”

      The only one who wants to learn from your pain and suffering is YOU. It’s you who wants to figure out how you create or attract your own pain, and how real your “suffering” really is, and also how you sometimes cause others to suffer. You are here to learn how to be wise enough to stop doing all that.

      You could of course avoid all the pain and suffering altogether by not incarnating. Sit in bliss for the rest of eternity. That’s always a choice. But I think I can safely predict that as you soon as you depart this life, drop your current human identity, and regain your full soul consciousness, you will be more than eager to come back again. As souls, we have an in-built mission. We find endless bliss boring and self-indulgent compared to the possibility of discovering full self-realisation via the universe of separation. As souls, we know what perfect love is. Then we voluntarily enter the realm of separation where fear, not love, appears to the universal driver. We come here in the hope of bringing love to any place where love appears to have been lost to pain ad fear. That’s our growth challenge.

      It is our sincere intention to avoid creating suffering while in human form. Getting there takes us quite a few lifetimes of learning how to be self-aware and compassionate and how to make wise choices. To end the project half-way through would be giving up on our very reason for existence – to become a uniquely glorious being of love and light. As a soul, I suspect you already have enough wisdom to not want to do that.

    • I admire ur ability to put ur houghts into words.. its good to read because it has only positive thoughts in it. And i still dont agree to ur concepts because off all these positiveness in them. U just thinks that there is bliss and peace in the other realm, while its not. There is darkness too. Try and add darkness into ur equations. All the coins have 2 sides. Its just inevitable..

    • The world of physical separation is the only place where negativity exists – and it only exists because of the human psyche (not in nature).

      Some, just after they die, do briefly experience negativity (anger, depression, torment, desolation), and imagine they have gone to hell. But they are simply experiencing their own inner negativity projected as an immediate reality because they haven’t yet let the scales fall from their ‘eyes’ – they are trying to see the afterlife through their normal filters. Eventually a guide will win their trust and help them to see the light – literally.

      The light has no negative aspect whatsoever, trust me. That’s why those in the light realm refer to earth as a planet of choice. That’s why they /we come here. Being in separate bodies with physical needs creates endless choices. We evolve by learning to make choices that are harmonious with all that is.

  14. Hi Barry, I agree with Bavesh. Its naive to presume that the astral and above levels are all only good and light. As above so below. There is light and dark on all levels. I do not and will not accept what evil has done to me over thousands of lives. Like his sister, we must stand up to evil and demand justice. Allowing Evil to run the show, do what they want and ‘all is forgiven’ in ‘heaven’ just is not true. You are welcome to live your life like that, but I will not be a victim anymore. And trust me, Evil is running the show. They control the planet, possibly the galaxy. The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem right? You are doing harm and collecting negative karma by telling people to give up, lay down, accept all evil and wrongness done to them because at the end its all good right? ….

    • We come here to learn how to choose and choose how to learn. We come here to act and speak either more in alignment or less in alignment with our free will, awareness, conscience, empathy, compassion and wisdom. We can see evil in the world, in our communities, in our enemies, in our best friends, in our own family, and of course in ourselves. Then we decide what to do about it. We can choose to bury our heads and ignore it – but that, as you say, would do more harm than good. A wise choice is to take responsibility for tackling whatever we encounter as evil right here right now in whatever way we deem most appropriate – to resist it, to expose it, to seek justice and so on.

      Evil is any wilfully harmful act, not a supernatural force or some other mysterious power. We all have the potential to make incredibly harmful choices and actions. That’s something else we are here to learn.

    • You should consider reading “The Prophet” by Khalil Gibran. There is some very deep and powerful messages in there in regards to pain and suffering. Namaste.

  15. Its not. As in all realms, you have to protect yourself, be vigilant, fight for your rights and that of your family. Its lazy and stupid to presume that you are safe and protected when you are not. Are you sure? 100% sure that you are right? You are not. It brings to mind complacent sheep. I do not want to be a sheep. I do not want to be trapped, a prisoner. I want to be free. The truth may not be palatable, nice, comfortable…. but I am ok with that. This story of shangri la when you die, happiness, laughing about your pain and suffering in this life…. not true. The life review… part of the machinery of our slave masters to force incarnations. This planet and realm are not the only options for life, or growth, or family or love. Your view is myopic. Perhaps you know that. I am sure that you have come across much of this truth, why have you chosen to ignore it?

  16. I don’t mean this in a rude way… but what makes you the expert in this? I mean how do you know you are right and all the other theories of reincarnation is wrong or “loony” as you put it? Do you have any proof in all your statements or is it just how YOU believe it is? Just like all the other theories people believe is true which you so bluntly dismiss as being wrong? Look I’m not trying to be rude or anything, I’m truly just curious as to what makes you think you are conveying the truth about reincarnation? I too believe in reincarnation and very interested in the subject and have my own theories on it as well. But I know my way of seeing it might not be completely correct eventhough it does make more sense in my mind than other theories out there. But thats just it.. Its MY BELIEVE. It doesnt make it true. I’ve learned so much about reincarnation and heard so many different theories on it, but I can’t dismiss any theory because it doesn’t make sense to me. How do I know that maybe just one little aspect of that theory is correct? So what makes you so sure? I’ve red your take on reincarnation and a lot of the things you said made me stop and think… Reconsider a few things… Dabble on it.. But really….. how do you KNOW?? It would be nice if I had something concrete and start to really KNOW. Do you have evidence of something being REALLY true that makes you so confident in your statements? Cause I would really love to know if there is something thats reality and not just theories… Please don’t take this the wrong way.. 🙂

    • Mariaan – I think you’ve misunderstood the thing about “loony nonsense.” I’ve said that I think it is now possible to put together a clear picture of reincarnation from various sources of information, adding: “Whether one regards such information as factual knowledge or as loony nonsense depends upon one’s openness to non-physical sources of information.” In other words, I doubt that the average cynic is ever going to be convinced by information derived from such things as past-life regression. They are likely to dismiss it.

      As for your questioning. I think I’ve just done what all writers do — I’ve gathered a lot of information and done a lot of research, I’ve done introspection and thinking, I’ve gone and had some personal experiences for myself, and after doing all this for about ten years I’ve reached some conclusions. Here I am presenting my conclusions on what appears to be valid and consistent — what I have come to accept as “reality and not just theories” — and from that I’ve also pointed out some beliefs that are widely held but which now strike me as invalid and inconsistent. Anyone else can do the same.

      If any of this article resonates as “true” for some, I’m delighted. If others dismiss it as nonsense, I’m not surprised. If someone says a particular detail is wrong because their guru says something different, I will think about it and make my own judgement.

      For years I have been immersing myself in all kinds of reincarnation-related philosophies, information and experiences with the specific intention of discerning for myself that which is most valid and consistent. I refused to just believe one source and leave it at that. At some point, I felt able to sort enough wheat from chaff to my own satisfaction for me to put together what looks to me like a consistent, valid and useful account that is worthy of my belief.

      But that’s not to claim that I am now the sole bearer of truth and therefore you must believe me. That’s not why I have written this. You have to do what I did — decide for yourself what to believe. The last thing I would want would be for a reader to abandon their own judgement.

    • Barry….Your dedication and presentation speak for it self.
      Your response is beautifully said.
      Please NEVER STOP doing what you do.
      Your insight and philosophies on these topics enlighten and help many, many people!!!
      Thank you,

    • I agree with Robert, I read all the comments I get to my email account and learn so much from you.

    • Indeed I can, but I should give a bit of life history to put it all in context.

      In my twenties I was very skeptical about such things as reincarnation. After all, I was a trained scientist … I knew everything! But by the age of 30, spurred on by an existential crisis, I had become a truth seeker and did meditation. Surprisingly quickly, I had moments of non-dual self-realization in which I directly knew my ultimate self to be one with the very essence of all that is. That shocker revolutionised my sense of self and reality, but it also left me struggling to put this new “awareness of the ultimate” together with my ordinary everyday existence, my personality, relationships, work, and so on.

      The universe came to the rescue by introducing me to the Michael teachings. For me it formed the perfect bridge between these two levels of awareness (the personal/mundane and the universal/spiritual). It all made sense. The only thing I struggled with was that I couldn’t really bring myself to believe in reincarnation. Archetypes, yes. Souls evolving over multiple lifetimes? …. That left me with a dilemma.

      The universe stepped in again when as part of a therapy training course I underwent a birth regression experience. The experience was very impactful in different ways. (There were certain details that I was later able to verify with my mother.) But the thing that stood out was the feeling that came into me (as a baby) at the moment I was being born — “Oh no, not this again!” It left me with a sense that reincarnation was very familiar to some deeper part of me. That’s when I first opened up to the idea.

      So I started reading like crazy — reincarnation concepts in the Eastern religions, the Western religions (yes, there are some), what Edgar Cayce said, what many other mediums and prophets and channels said. A lot of mixed and often conflicting ideas out there. I was more impressed with the consistency of reports about past and future lives coming from near-death experiences.

      Then I learned about past-life regression. Several psychiatrists and hypnotherapists had stumbled into it by accident, and had been taken completely by surprise, including the great Stanislav Grof (who was paid to experiment with the therapeutic potential of LSD when it had just been created — his early books are well worth a read). More and more psychiatrists and therapists were coming out and saying that some of their clients/patients would simply go into past life experiences without being asked (and often without even knowing).

      So then I decided I should try this for myself, partly out of personal curiosity and partly to know exactly what this was like. My first few attempts were with poorly trained individuals and didn’t get me very far — some tantalising glimpses maybe, or possibly just daydreams? But then … cue the universe …

      I started having the occasional spontaneous memory. One or two occurred just as I was lying in bed half-asleep, and others while meditating deeply. I would find myself semi-consciously living through a particular experience. Not a dream-scenario at all. The most memorable was of being a medieval guard on a mountain pass in the Pyrenees. A band of aggressive-looking foreigners approached me to get past. I tried to halt them and challenge them but one of them simply raised his ax-like weapon and planted it in my face. I could feel and taste the blade as it pierced my tongue. I dropped to my death, but I had a dying thought that still resonates with me: “I swear, this has to be the last lifetime I expose myself to such hatred and violence.”

      I was now feeling pretty convinced, but just to be sure I really wanted some experiences of my own. So a few years ago I decided to treat myself as a birthday present(!) to a series of past-life and between-life regressions with a very good hypnotherapist, trained in the style of Michael Newton. I have written of those experiences here:

      I’ve continued to have the occasional spontaneous recall or “imagery” — too many to mention right now! But I think it’s a case of “ask and it is given.”

    • Thank you….thank you…..THANK YOU.
      Barry, your responses are always spot on and an inspiration.
      Could you comment on the work of Tom Campbell at the Monroe institute ?
      Thank you again.

    • Barry I see you mentioned Michael Newton…is that the same doctor who wrote the book Journey of the Souls??? I’m almost finished with that book and it speaks about us being informations of light when we leave this fleshy mess behind. As you can tell I’m excited to remember again and see past friends once the veil is lifted after “death.”

  17. are you saying that we are doomed to die and reincarnate for eternity? that we learn from suffering until we reach an ultimate state of love and wisdom, only to go right back the beginning stages of suffering and fear out of “boredom” and do it all over again? an eternal circle?

    • are you saying that we are doomed to die and reincarnate for eternity?

      No. We are blessed to die and reincarnate until doing so is no longer of value to us.

      that we learn from suffering

      We learn from the choices that we make as separate beings, and the consequences of those choices for self and others. We can make choices that lead to greater suffering or choices that lead to greater joy. We learn that suffering is an accident of limited consciousness, and that joy is wonderful.

      until we reach an ultimate state of love and wisdom

      It’s not so much that we reach such a state, but that we gradually develop the courage and confidence to manifest such a state while in human form. Our souls are already perfect love in essence — we take on individual separation in a seemingly loveless world because we long to consciously EXPERIENCE our love by voluntarily giving and receiving it.

      only to go right back the beginning stages of suffering and fear out of “boredom” and do it all over again?

      Not unless that’s what you want to do. You are a being of perfect freedom, an integral part of the creative intelligence of the universe. You are not coerced or compelled to repeat undesirable experiences.

      an eternal circle?

      An eternal dance of joy. An eternal explosion of consciousness. An eternal work in progress.

  18. Interesting Barry.

    I recently finished reading Seth Speaks, Jeshua Ben Joseph (Pamela Kribbe) and the Ra Material and you’re writings go hand in hand with those books. Personally when I put these ideals into practice I find more room to accommodate people and the world around me.

  19. Whilst I find this subject fascinating & resonate with it on many levels There are a few areas I am unsure of. Firstly if as you say our souls fragment
    from a source & place of love, light & bliss, where there is no dark side. And the reason our souls choose to incarnate into humanity is for the experience it affords to evolve.My question is, if already knowing perfect bliss & light why the need to incarnate? Secondly, the nature of humanity is, we cannot & were never designed to exist without a soul, then is not the living being just a vehicle for the soul and if the soul is the consciousness, where does the darkness in humanity come from. Mary

  20. You denounce the teachings of reincarnation from a Buddhist point of view, but who are you to do so, when there has been a tradition of profound understanding for more than 2,500 years? – Due to the realities of illusory-existance, cyclic-existance, depending on attachment-density within the unconsicous-alaya, the skhandas continue to manifest with similar predispositions. Only through spiritual work can a person, not a soul, but a person experience surrender from identifying its thoughts as a solid-reality; the soul is a thought. Whatever constitutes the bulk of attachment, as if it was a solid I, can indeed reincarnate into animal realms, or lower-realms; there is never a guarantee, or, put another way, depending on the how much identification with attached sense of self has been liberated and replaced with emptiness-luminosity-bliss is to the degree of which karma will manifest in whatever way, in whatever realm. Also, emptiness-luminoisty-bliss manifesting as people take on the same karmic lessons again, again, when they’ve actually realized itself as being of benefit to all sentient beings, and similar causes and conditions as a previous life allow that quality of emptiness-luminosity-bliss to effectively become helpful quickly. There is no end of reincarnation for a Bodhistvah; for, bliss-emptiness has realized its inseparability from all, wishes to liberate countless beings, and aims to become liberated again, in a new form, in order to do just that, yet again. The karma behind those cognizance/s are as vast and complex as no doctrine could ever measure up to; i.e. a Bodhistvah can manifest as a cloud to help rain fall in the desert for lizards.

  21. Carmen, you are 100% correct. As far as I can remember, I have been depressed since the Middle Ages when I was a catholic monk; I have also had a few flashbacks of me being a German solider in WW2 (still depressed and confused, hating my condition) and my last lifetime was similar.

  22. This is very interesting. I’m not sure there is a limit to 100 lives. One might live billions of lives but that doesn’t really matter since time means nothing.

    I’ve had strange experiences so far in this life. First, as a baby, I walked early & talked early. I can remember being one year old. I remember age 2 going to doorway of a wedding party (my grandmother didn’t let me in since alcohol was being served & I was a child) & as my grandmother greeted people, I felt like I was an adult so where is my cocktail? I asked for one! I have memories of having died in the early 1960s US. I know the City & it was car wreck soon after marriage. I was late 20s to 30s. In that City once this lifetime & it was like being home.

    Strange thing is online so called past life test then one in person none knowing who I am all have said I was Elizabeth 1 Queen of England! That is strange because as a male, I’ve always been fascinated with history and for some reason the Elizabethan Times. My most recent past life, I was just an average person but it seem hundreds of years ago, I might have been that Queen.

    My question is can people incarnate into the same life that others have and when we reincarnate with time meaning nothing but made-up by humans can we actually go back in history to be someone who already existed? I once thought everyone had to live the life of everyone but there is room for speculation on this. I am just curious if I really was that one person and if other have been & if people go forward in time, backwards in time etc when reincarnating.

    Nice article here btw.

    • I actually said “The whole journey of evolving through reincarnation … takes (typically) well over 100 lifetimes.” No implication of an imposed or fixed limit intended, though I should perhaps have specified HUMAN lifetimes, as I think there may be huge variety on different planets with different species, given that natural physical longevity sets a limit on how much a soul can get done (i.e. learn from experience) within each incarnation. If our human bodies had evolved to live for only a few months, say, rather than several decades, it might then take thousands or even millions of lives to cover the same ground.

      Can different souls re-reincarnate into the same historical human life? As far as I understand it, the physical plane simply does not allow that and our souls would have no interest in it anyway.

      Imagine a Young Priest soul saying, “I want to be Jesus Christ”, so history is re-run with Jesus of Nazareth as an ambitious death-or-glory firebrand like Napoleon.

      As human beings, we might be fascinated with the idea of going back in time and altering the course of history. But as evolving souls, we have no interest in changing history. As souls, we view all human lives as equally valid opportunities for growth, but we specifically choose and create lives that are uniquely appropriate for us at each point in our own growth. History is simply part of the background context within which we will live our next life.

  23. My husband passed away 2 years ago. We have been together for almost 27 years. He was my soulmate before anything else. Even though I started putting my life back together I cannot find a reason to go on…. everything is bleak and makes no sense. I cannot find joy in anything. I cried everyday for 2 years and the passing of time does not alleviate the pain, if anything I become more depressed with each passing day.
    I tried reading all I could find about reincarnation but it doesn’t answer the question if I’ll ever see him again in this lifetime. How can I go on?

    • I totally sympathise with your loss, but it might help you with your grief to perceive things slightly differently.

      Your husband hasn’t gone anywhere. He simply no longer uses the physical body with which you were once able to relate to him as. He was never just that body anyway, just as you are not your body.

      In essence, each of us is a being of love who take on bodies temporarily so as to experience expressing our love in a seemingly dark and hostile world. While in our bodies, many of us don’t often experience or recognise our loving essence, either in self or in others. But we do get glimpses of it, especially when we fall in love.

      Now the soul that was recently here in the form of your husband has moved on — not to any other place, but into a softer and more beautiful expanse of awareness in which he is fully aware of the love between you. As an eternal conscious being, he is still very much Here. There is nowhere else to Be. All reality is Here and Now. You can commune with him by tuning into his presence Here and Now, just focus on his essence as if he were right next to you. There is no actual physical distance between your location and his. You don’t need him to have a body to experience his presence. When you focus your attention and love on him as a continuing presence, he is very much aware of it.

      Love is never lost — except in the physical sense of mortality. Love only continues and grows.

      He is no doubt watching out for you, offering you reassurance that he’s doing great and knowing that you can be really happy in this life even without his physical presence by your side.

      One day you will leave your current body behind and the two of you will have an ecstatic reunion. You will discuss this whole experience, how you planned it together for good reasons that brought you both opportunities to grow, and you might start planning your next lives together. The field is wide open for souls exploring love in human relationships. Perhaps next time you will decide to reverse the husband-wife roles, or perhaps you’ll decide to be born as close siblings, or perhaps you’ll have very different lives and then meet up in your 60s. Or maybe you’ll just pair up again the same way you did this time. The field is wide open for all us beings of love to explore and experience and expand our love in human form, and all of it is entirely our own choice.

      Love is the name of the game. Loss and grief are experiences that bring our love into sharp, sometimes painful relief. Their purpose is to prompt us to do exactly what you have been doing – finding a reason to go on by knowing that while physical loss is an inescapable reality of human life, love is also inescapably real, and eternal. And it is never limited to one individual.

  24. Thank you Barry for your kind words; I fell sometimes his presence or something pops into my mind out of nowhere that makes no sense and then some things start happening and it’s like he would try to warn me….
    I do miss his presence, but I guess I could try to find some comfort in the fact that he watches over me.

  25. We do not pre-plan our lives, that is utter BS! It’s an idea and belief among many New Age personalities and is NOT true! First: If everything is planned, big and small, then there’s no point of living, since we can’t learn anything. Life is many things, but mostly a learning experience. I give you that. But that is also why you only choose to reincarnate, and the rest is up to coincidences. In order to learn, you have to experience things that come out of the blue, as the saying is. You do not choose your family, school, lovers, career, etc. You only choose to be reborn. Second, this belief that all is pre-planned, is in the same category as those who, for example, belief that the Jews choose to go through Holocaust, which, of course, is nonsense! It’s an evil dogma, with a dose of racisism on top of it. No one choose to come down here and suffer and be hurt and so on. Period! Evil, hurt, wrongdoings, etc., are just part of Earth life and how many people are here on Earth. It’s in our genetic makeup, so to speak. It has nothing to do with souls and decisions. We all make decisions every day, and none of them are pre-planned. It’s that simple. So, please, do not fall for this nonsense on this site. It’s basically a cult thing and the more you believe, the easier you are sucked into this cult mentality. Remember the old (and true) words of wisdom: Beware of false prophets! We also don’t choose when or how we die, or if we become serious ill. Again; it’s a claim to make you feel powerless, and you are NOT powerless. You are NOT a chosen victim, nor a chosen perpetrator! Shit just happens, as they say. It’s true that we have to experience life in all its nuances, and to learn that the key is love, but not in a planned way, because that is called cheating! Logical, right? Furthermore, in response to a person’s comment here, it IS true, based on many accounts, that some people are forced to reincarnate, and also, that the white light can be a trap. So, yeah, ghosts, for example, do exist and so do extra-terrestrials, and they are also here among us. They are also souls, of course, but they don’t reincarnate to the same extend that many of us here do. Before I leave here, also remember that any channelled material should always be looked upon with some scepticism and suspicion. The author of the long text of this site, got his/her “info” via channelling, and in my book, that’s the same as “Here’s a fairy tale I was told.” Since the “info” is pure nonsense, well…I rest my case. Bottom line: Reincarnation is real, to an extend, but not in the way that is presented on this site. We do not choose anything but to say yes and no – although, in some rare cases, a few are “forced.” We do not pre-plan anything with anybody, we are simply reborn (or born for the first time) into a random family and then you meet random people, good and bad, some become friends and potential lovers, other your “enemies” or just people you don’t connect with. You can die in an accident (not planned since then it can’t be called an accident), and if you die of a serious illness, say cancer, well…that’s just one of life’s ugly sides and a very unfortunate coincidence. Every person you meet, close by or from far away, are coincidences. Nothing was planned! Your choice of career was not planned! One day you’re a teacher, then you become a dentist! Not planned, it just happens! And people from all over the planet, can accidentally meet and fall in love…some stay together, some part. Not planned! That’s the beauty of life! You say yes to be born here, and gosh, what a paradise with so many coincidences! That’s how it is and how it should be! Enjoy that…and try and avoid such nonsense as this site suggest 😉

  26. I feel (at this time anyway) that we agree to incarnate, and then it’s the luck of the draw as to what parents, etc. we end up with. I don’t think that just because someone consider themselves “awakened” “spiritual”, “enlightened”, etc., and have had “experiences” that they are in the know as to the true/full workings of our cycles of life (or anything else).

    There are 9 billion people on this planet, so that means there are 9 billion different experiences going on at all times. We ALL have experiences of various kinds regarding our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual “being” but that doesn’t make any of us experts on anything.

    I accept everyone’s take on this subject. They may not all be my beliefs at this time, and that’s ok. I have beliefs today, that I didn’t in the past, and I’m sure that some of my existing beliefs will change in the future. Which ones? Well now, that’s to be seen, and I’m okay with that.

    Blessings to all

  27. Well, I would like to give my opinion also on this matter, even though it is my opinion only and it represents what I belief. I do believe that we plan what happens when we reincarnate, but not to the smallest detail. Basically, I believe that, when we choose to reincarnate, we have a set of goals / objectives / life lessons that we want to learn and we agree with several souls that are going to / already are incarnated in this planet which lessons we want to learn and how they can better assist us, by becoming our parents / lovers / enemies / killers / so on. Yes, it is terrible that things so cruel like the Holocaust happened and how on Earth would someone choose that, but this has also to do with the collective objectives of soul evolution, since we cannot be selfish enough to believe that we are the only one evolving in this planet, but that the planet itself, its mass conscience is also evolving. So, I believe that we set several objectives and obstacles / life lessons in this lifetime, but the response to such objectives / life lessons occur only when we come to life. Basically, we can define that “I want to lose a loved one in this lifetime to see if can endure, forgive and accept”, but my reaction to it will be after I am alive and not predefined. So, I think that several things are predetermined (obstacles / life lessons) by us before we are born, but our response and reaction to them is a choice of our own free will and it is what we are here to learn. Life isn’t random, things don’t happen by chance, there is a higher purpose at play that works to your greater good. This is my belief system and, even though I believe in it, I don’t consider myself limited in any way, in fact I feel grateful to know that I have things to learn that I’ll, eventually, this lifetime or the next one, will learn.

    Love and light to all =)

  28. I didn’t have a firm belief in any kind of afterlife before my husband passed away. Even though I lost loved ones, nothing shook me to my core than my husband’s death.
    I cannot talk to anybody because “it’s been 2 years… you should move on”…
    I’m looking for answers, reasons as to why it happened, can’t get over “shoulda, woulda, coulda”….I can’t let it go….

    • of course you cant let it go you loved him if you need any form of comfort look intio physics that will show you just a glimps of how stuff works god if you only knew what i know

    • I so feel your pain.
      The “move on” concept are just words people say out of lack of anything useful to say.
      Its been 2 1/2 years since my partner of 48 years passed and its as fresh today as it was the first year.
      Besides this wonderful platform, here are a few informative web sights.
      Also Google:
      Raymond Moody / Edgar Cayce
      These are just a few but they will lead you on a insightful journey.
      Bless You and take care.

    • Hi OD. The loss of a loved one is, without doubt, one of the hardest things to cope in one’s life. This is specially difficult for certain loved ones, like one’s child, life companion, father, mother or even a close friend. Sometimes, we even feel guilty, because it seems that we suffer more with a loss of a friend that with the loss of a relative, but the fact is that certain people have the power to shake our inner self and their loss can put us completely adrift in this world. On a spiritual level, this type of loss is one of the hardest lessons that we have and it can take several lifetimes until we manage to cope with this type of loss, even though it is always difficult. The reasons are many, but none might seem to be worth it in your perspective, since it is, sometimes, a pain so deep, like a wound in one’s soul, that nothing else seems to matter. This happens specially with soul mates (we have many) or twin flames (normally there is only one), since these types of soul are those with whom we have a special connection since the beginning of our spiritual life and are those that have accompanied us for a very long time. Also, they are normally the ideal types of souls for this lesson (it is cruel, but true), since their loss will have a deep impact in our lives. The purpose, often times, is to help us find a new path in life, a new understanding to one’s true self and divine nature, making us cross what is called the Dark Night of the Soul – http://in5d.com/getting-through-the-dark-night-of-the-soul/ – a spiritual path that lead us to acceptance, forgiveness, love and hope. It is hard and very painful to understand, but, right now, you must find your way back to love and hope, trying to accept what happened. Grieve, scream, travel, find a support group, whatever works for you. But this is your time, your lesson and your path to follow, so follow whatever your heart tells you to do, delve deep and try to find the answers you need.. There is no predefined time span for surpassing a loss of a loved one. Take your time, search using your tools, maybe try meditation or prayer, but be sure that there is something for you to learn from this, so search until you find the answer that satisfies you.

      A lot of love and light – I truly hope that you find what you are seeking for.

  29. What are the chances a young woman who died in childbirth could return 25 years later as her daughter’s child?

    • 25 years is a very typical length of time between lives and souls do often return to the same family. So if this is the case, in effect she would be her own granddaughter. Fascinating!

  30. Thank you hgpestana!
    I know I’m not the only one or the last one who suffered a huge loss, it just feels that way.
    Speaking of feeling, this is lately my guiding light… I’m looking for something that I cannot define, but this is the driving force now…. whether is an answer, a reason, an illumination, a truth… I don’t know … all I know is that I am looking and seeking pieces of information and guidance to put things together so it makes some kind of sense to me and if possible ease the pain….

  31. I don’t get why, especially repeatedly bad experiences, any sane soul would CHOOSE to come back here. I definitely won’t, if I have anything to say about ti.

  32. Hi I lost my love 1 week ago in a bike accident. We both loved each other so much and we made many future planings he was just of 19 He wanted to do many and many things We both together planed many things for our future we saw thousands of dreams. He use to see me as if I am the best thing that happened to him. Now he is no more. We promised each other that we would live and die together. I cant see anything beyond him and his love Infact i dont want to see anything beyond it. From the day I got him my only wish was to stay with him be with him and fulfill all his wishes and to see him happy. He use to see thousands of dreams with me holding my hand and wanted to do many things in this life to make me feel special. He never took my real name and called me Angel. Even his family and friends started calling me angel. Though actually he is my Angel and i wanted him to be only my and the only thing that I prayed was his happiness and his love. But I think all my wishes and sacrifices went directly to God’s spam folder and i think that there is nothing like God. but later i realized that God is the only way that can take me to him.I just want to know that is it possible for him to wait some years from his next reincarnation. I can commit suicide but I consider and believe that it is a great sin and demerits can be barrier for me from getting him. I gave up all my desires wishes and everything and all i want now is to get back him as my angel in each lifetime. It was my story in bried and I just want to know that are my wishes possible and is it possible for him to wait for me.

    • From what I understand, it is possible also that he comes back in a different form, e. g. as your child one day, to know each other from a different perspective and, if that makes any sense, to make your waiting for him more bearable. It is also possible he was in your life now for you to learn a lesson. It is possible he’ll wait for you—and loving you, he would not like you to take your life, on the contrary, he may be next to you, expecting you to make the most of this life experience, so you can keep learning together in future lives.

    • Thank you so much Otolio for ur such a kind advice
      If it was really so that he just came to me for a lesson to learn then he could have come to me as someone else and not as my love. And it is not at all possible for him to come back to me as a child because i can never add anyone else in my life as husband. I want to know that will he wait for me for some years because I cant give up my life coz i know my this sin wont ever let me to complete my wish My demerits can be barrier for my me . Is there any other way to reach him.

    • I just want to know that is he waiting for me from taking his next reincarnation is it possible for him to wait so many years

    • Hi, Honey Dutta. First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. For what you say, he mean’t a lot to you and it is very hard to lose someone that has such an impact in our life. That being said, you should not give up on living, since being alive is a Divine Gift and we should honor it and honor ourselves. I am sure that your loved one, wherever he is, would not like you to take your own life. It is very hard, but you must keep on living. As Otolio mentioned, this could be a lesson – a very hard lesson indeed, but a lesson – for you to learn to accept a loss like this. Yes, it is possible for a soul to wait so long in order to reincarnate – some say that we reincarnate every 400 years or so, even though it could take less time or longer, it all depends on the soul’s choice and learning steps. So, please, keep on living and rest assured that he is on other side watching and waiting for you. Make your grief, cry for him, scream, get angry with god, get mad, but keep on living since it is the best way to learn and be sure that you will find him again some day.

      Love and light for you in this dark moment,

  33. Thank you so so much for this Hgpestana
    It was all I wanted and searched for. It is very hard to come out of this. infact i don’t want to get out of this pain filled of love. And yes all what i can do is to scream, cry and nothing else and to fulfill his some dreams Thank you so much this will help me a lot. Though it is very hard for me to behave so normal Thousands of questions are running inside my mind One last question – can he see me listen me and feel me
    I will be gratefull if u replied to my comment once again.

    • Well, Honey Dutta, I don’t know how to reply this to you. It all depends. Normally our loved ones, when departing, have the possibility to accompany us for this lifetime. We can receive some signals from them, like dreams, smells, small glimpses or shadows, it all depends. Some become our guardian angels, some simply go on and wait for us on the other side. So, keep his memory in your heart and in time and with faith you will know for sure if he still walks with you in this lifetime like a guardian angel or if he will be waiting for you on the other side.

      Love and light,

  34. Hi there so I have a question if people die they don’t get reincarnated right away right they at least wait maybe a year or two or even longer so here’s my question Can we decide to be reincarnated the person we want to be I mean do we get to choose who we want to be in the next life? , I’ll be honest cause I already planned who I want to be and I’m still alive so I was thinking that I’ll get to choose who I want to be when I die cause practically I planned who I want to be and I’m already fine to my plan even if it was my last atleaat I’d get to live the next Life I planned

    • Hi Alex Mercer. I’m afraid that’s not how things work, at least for those who believe in reincarnation. There are several factions and schools / religions / philosophies that believe in reincarnation, but for the majority of them, the entity in whom you reincarnate in your next life is not chosen by you when you are alive, but rather by your spirit, alongside other light beings, normally guardian angels, guides and other light beings that will accompany you in your next lifetime. So, it does not matter if you already have planned who you want to be, because that is your ego / living mentality. The soul has other plans and objectives, so it is only after you abandon your living mentality / ego life that you will have the choice for your next life, if you haven’t done so already. So live your life right now to the fullest and, when the time comes, you’ll have the possibility of reincarnating again. Don’t throw away your life right now, since it is very important and a Divine Gift that should be honored and respected.

      Love and Light

  35. Hi, I have a question. My finance was killed in a car accident while I was pregnant with our son. Our son was born on his dads birth and looks just like him. Is it possible my fiance was reincarnated into our son? Even though he never met his son, does it still know about him? I know these may be silly questions, just something Ive always wondered. I think it’s crazy that our son was born on his dad’s birthday and his dad died 4 months prior to his birth…

    Thank you,

    • Hi Michelle,

      It would be very unusual for someone to depart and come back very quickly as their own child. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a case. But that’s not to say it’s impossible.

      It’s most often the case that between one life and the next, decades of Earth time will have passed. But that said, as far as I’m aware there’s nothing to stop us from going about it differently or more creatively, such as setting up two in a row, one right after the other. (I’ve actually been told that my own current life as Barry overlapped with my previous one by 5 years…!)

      I just can’t think of a scenario in which a soul would plan to live two in a row in which they returned as their own offspring.

      Well, one possibility would be if the soul who was once your fiance had a change of mind/heart right after dying, and was so keen to carry on in that life with you (and/or you were so keen to have him back) that ‘he’ opted to incarnate at the first opportunity, which would be as your son.

      If they are one and the same, then either this is something you both pre-planned all along or it’s something you and he agreed upon at the soul level within your lifetime, perhaps even after he died.

      The fact that your son was born on the same birthday as the father could be a deliberate sign or clue to alert you (at the human level) as to what has happened. Like he’s winking at you, saying yes that’s right, it’s me. (A less conscious mother might be freaked out at such a possibility, so presumably you’re okay with it!)

      There are various other possibilities we may not have thought of. For example, perhaps your fiance and your child are soul siblings, hence the strong resemblance. I’m reluctant to conclude anything without having more to go on, but it is certainly fascinating to me.

      I guess the key question for you is, how would you feel to learn (a) that this is indeed the same soul, or conversely (b) that they are two different souls?

      Would love to be kept updated if you notice anything more – kids tend to be most open to spontaneously recalling their immediate past life (especially if it was a traumatic death) during the first 4 years.

      Hope this helps.



    • Thank you so much for your response. It is all so interesting to me. My son (who will be 3 in a couple weeks) says he sees his dad all the time. He will literally turn my face and say, see mommy, he’s right there. He was a very traumatic death. He died in a car accident. He was killed instantly when hit by a motorcycle.
      I am so interested to know more! I wish I can get in touch with a medium. Since it was so sudden, I feel like I need to hear something from him.
      I’m also curious to know why it is that I no longer have visitation dreams from him. It has been probably 2 years since I’ve had a visitation dream. I ask him all the time to visit me… and nothing?! Why is that?

  36. Wow…
    Those info just hit the spots. I dont know why but seems that they are right and made me remember “lost memories” but they are so vivid and clear to be dreams

    I have a “lost memory of death by karma” (very old memory, i have it since young)
    Then the guide told me never to kill again, for i am a skilled killer but a good man.
    I was given a chance again.
    I remembered choosing where to begin with. (A dream?)
    I even have memories as when i was a baby.

    And when im a college student
    I “dreamed” that went into regression (LsD) but when the shaman ask me if i want to remember or fully forget, i said, dont let me forget everything, it may be useful.
    But it wasnt a dream because my buddy told me that years ago we really went to a certain place, and some fragments of memory came back.

    Now, i felt im becoming more sensitive to paranormal things. Interested in meditation and aura (but not really doing it). Some of my dreams are so vivid, and most of the time precognitive.

    Reading this info made me “remember” some “memories”
    I dunno if this is real anymore!

    • I have a friend in Canada who has a lucid dream every single night and fully remembers it the next day. He often “meets” people he has had past-life associations with. He may be able to offer you some guidance if you like:

  37. Hi Barry!

    🙂 I think this truly makes sense that we choose to return and learn lessons about different things. I believe that. But I was just wondering if there is an another planet which has similar intellectual beings like human beings? If you know something about it, please share. 🙂 Thank you! (Sorry about my English :P)

    • There are said to be millions of other planets in this galaxy alone with intelligent species serving as hosts for reincarnating souls. I doubt many of them look the same as us, however.

  38. Hey Barry,

    It’s my first time, that I am sharing my feeling and writing it to any blog. Your words have given me a little bit of hope that reincarnation is possible.

    I lost my little sister few months back because of some mysterious illness. It’s a biggest tragedy that I have ever seen in my life. The thing that hurts me much is I was just 1 day far to meet her. And now for me it seems like that 1 day is never going to end . Every night I dream of her. I play with her, roam with her and I am really happy that I am able to feel her at least through dreams. I know, I can never get her back as my sister again. But from the day she passed away, I am just wishing her to be my part of my life again. May be as by baby. I want that miracle to be happened. I just want to tell her that I miss her so much and
    this life without her is making me weak and feel like hell inside. Please just tell me is there a way I can get her back in my life as my kid. Can she be back to my life? Please don’t just comment anything just to keep my heart but truly just tell me is it posssible? Your answer will fill life in me.


    • Hi Pushpa,

      Yes, it is possible. Many things are possible.

      It’s almost certain that she will choose to reincarnate within your own lifetime. It might be a few years from now, but it could be decades.

      It’s certainly possible that she could reincarnate as someone you are close to, such as a member of your own family. Possibly a daughter, or a niece, or perhaps your grand-daughter.

      But it is also possible that she could choose to incarnate on the other side of the planet with no specific plan to meet up with you.

      It’s also possible that the soul who appeared as your beloved sister might choose to return in a male body.

      Not knowing the reasons for her departure from this most recent life, I cannot really guess her intentions for the next one. I can only suggest what are genuine possibilities. But I hope these thoughts can help you through the terrible loss that you are feeling.

      I would just add that her presence is still completely accessible and available to you. Just focus on touching into her loving presence with yours.

      Having shifted out of physical form, she is in an infinitely lighter and brighter state of pure love and freedom. She is probably very aware of your anguish following her departure, but also very aware that in the bigger picture you are completely alright, just learning and growing through something.

  39. Hi berry. Its been a long time since i commented. I hope u remembers me. I need to ask a favour. I was trying to talk to my aprit guide after reading journey of souls. But i couldn’t concentrate much thoughts just comes to my mind. Can u suggest any other war by which i could get in to the spirit world??

  40. I must say something…this is my experience

    Let’s say my friend-male, is Y…

    We were in the same high school and class/grade 7. His father died that year and then after that, he changed…emotionally etc. Before the change, i truly liked him but never had the courage to say a word. I always remember his eyes-you could see his soul; they were really pure.
    Long story short, we split up after. After some time, I joined the Christian faith, then left because of issues with them (started questioning etc) and I had a bad relationship with a supposedly Christian man.
    Now, we met up again while I was in college; he turned a Police officer. I saw him first but didn’t want him to see me. He saw me though and called out to me.We started communicating after that, then went into a love relationship…I felt pure love with him-one that I can’t describe and the thing is, we never actually had sex, although we tried…it’s the bonding and love we shared that were powerful.
    Then, I discovered that he started to talk less etc, no communication, and I have trust issues so I though the was cheating (he told me he was a player before meeting me) I broke it off…BUT I REMEMBER clearly I was on my bed thinking about how i’m going to break it off when I heard a tiny voice saying “anything else but that…don’t break up with him” and I cried and having heard that voice, I vowed to break up because I figured it was an evil spirit, so I did.
    the moment I did, he didn’t want to let me go, but I held my ground. Then I told him about a dream I had about his father. We were actually sleeping. In the dream, I saw his dad (NEVER met him in real life) walk over to where I was lying down and asked me If I was Roxanne (my name) and I said Yes…he then said, “Do not be afraid of Y”…weird right? When I told him, he said it’s apparent that his dad likes me….weird again? Then he said he’s tired of getting hurt so he won’t continue in a relationship etc. we broke up…then months later, made up, then broke up etc…
    Over the months of breaking up etc, we were sleeping again, and his dad stood at my bedside and pointed and said “you are the one” I became freaked in the morning and asked what it meant…he said he doesn’t know and he wouldn’t tell me if his dad speaks to him.
    Many times I move on, and I give dreams about him and his father, and then it’s like i’m falling inlove with him all over again but I hate it because he’s not that pure soul he used to be. I remember even being with a difference guy- a decent one, and we’re courting, when out of the blue, I had a dream about a little girl who told me her name (Rose) and when I asked her father’s name, she told me his!
    I’m confused….What did I do so bad in my past life to be in this mess?? help!

    • This looks like regular teenage/twenties relationship stuff to me… I don’t really get why you’re looking for a past life angle. I would suggest you just work out clearly for yourself what you like and don’t like about him and his behaviour, and try to be true to yourself without hurting him or letting yourself get hurt.

  41. Even if we are totally complete with all stages including 6, and 7, are we still open and free to come back to earth and just live lives for the happiness and the beautifulness of life?

  42. I have a theoretical question. With reincarnation, how are souls produced considering the population of the world has increased 8 fold since 1800. This also makes me wonder about the time period the soul waits before reincarnation and the death of each soul every 100 lifetimes…. what evidence is there for any of these details? So this idea still excepts that magical creator still makes the souls? That seems like an easy way out of that conversation. I think the idea of reincarnation would be useful for coping with death more than a “heaven”. I try to stay open minded but believe we will one day have the ability to find evidence of what truly happens when we die.

  43. Hi Barry,

    I just wanted to ler you know how much I love your website – your site has helped me to have a far better understanding of the Michael Teachings more than any of the others I have read. I also wanted to commend you on how well you have responded to so many of these comments in this thread. I agree that we choose our lifetimes, our parents, our circumstances, etc. in order for our soul to be able grow and evolve.

    And to help answer as to why we might choose what appears to be a difficult lifetime, just know that each and every one of us is so much more than the body we inhabit, the personality we develop, and the ego we carry with us. That is just part of our human experience. But we are also eternal souls that go far beyond the human experience that we are currently having (and I know that you are well aware of this — I was wanting to share with some of the other readers in this thread). From a soul level, we know that we need some of these experiences, as painful as they may sometimes be. As Khalil Gibran writes in The Prophet, it is our pain that carves out the well inside the cup so that we can fill it with joy.

    Please keep up the amazing work you do on this website and the best to you! Namaste. 🙂


  44. I have to wonder. Since there are certain places in the world that seem to experience more pain than others, are we to believe that the continent of Africa, South America and other
    “third world countries” are just “dumping grounds” for people who need to experience suffering in a reincarnation?

  45. The soul is perfect, a perfect individualized reflection of God. It’s ego, even if a very spiritual ego, continues to evolve, potentially throughout eternity.

  46. You article is very informative, thank you this will help a lot of people to understand this very important process.

    You have an editorial error:

    6.Soul sticks to 1 species

    The second sentence says “lice” instead of “life”.

    Just caught it, I thought I’d let you know. 😊

  47. So do we have free will? Or am I just a passive witness to everything. Like do I have any real freedom of choice in how my life pans out and In what I do moment to moment? Logically free will is a concept that doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like I have free will. Especially when I feel I’m in the ‘zone’!

    • Yes, we have free will. And exercising that free will any way we like is precisely why we are here. The physical realm sets certain constraints – like, we can’t walk through solid walls at will or move through time at will; but in terms of setting our lives in one direction or another, we have absolute free choice. We are also free to believe whatever we like. That includes believing that there is no such thing as free will, and that our lives are determined by atoms or by destiny or the whim of the gods or whatever. Most people believe they have some free will, yet they act on autopilot most of the time, just reacting instinctively, or according to their conditioning, or going along with the herd. But as we become more and more aware, we notice that every single moment of life is a choice.

    • It depends on what you mean by God. Certain ideas that a lot of people have about God are not exactly valid. It helps to think of God not as a kind of cosmic overlord but as the spirit in every single being including ourselves. Every soul is a piece of God exploring what it’s like to not be God, and then eventually remembering again.

  48. Hi Barry,

    I concur with majority of what you have stated. I would like to take this opportunity to utilise your knowledge and experiences and get some opinions to the following:

    -How do you explain the growth in population? People (bodies, vessels, physical forms, whatever you wish to call them) are reproducing at an exponential rate and therefore does the creation of souls have to match this growth so that every vessel has a soul to fill it?

    – Can you please explain the “twin flame” theory?

    – Once returned to the spirit realm, do souls also have the ability to predict the future? (I am aware time is irrelevant – referring to the events that will unfold on earth in our forecoming reincarnation)
    For example, did the souls who endured the horrors of the holocaust have prior knowledge that THAT exact event was going to take place in their lifetime, and decided to use it as a tool for growth, or did they simply desire to be thrust into a world where they would learn the lessons of deep sorrow and torment, and a higher power prevailed?


  49. I’m sorry but f**k this s**t. Please tell me how to become non-existant. I am so tired of this life I swear it feels like I lived hundreds of times, I am so tired. I am not coming back ever again, I simply wish to be erased, like I am sleeping, I don’t want to be fucked with ever again. How do I stop reincarnation? I will do black magic or any damn thing, please help me!!! and if there is a god that exists I hate him with all of my heart

    • I’m sorry you feel like that but the truth is, no one is *making* you feel like that. It’s something you are doing to yourself and it’s very likely that this is precisely what you have come into this life to resolve. There is no way out but to look within. Carry on complaining or change your attitude: that is the choice you face. To feel differently you must make a decision to free yourself from whatever distorted thought patterns have convinced you that life is the way it seems, and be willing to experience life completely differently. Happiness is always just around the corner; it just takes a shift in perspective and a willingness to feel different. The entire non-physical universe feels for you and wants nothing but the very best for you and will happily give it to you. It’s up to you to let it.

    • Hi friend
      Sometimes i feel the same but there is more about this world problem is that they not tell us the govern-menti know the truth this place we live is a jail and somehow it is related with reincarnation, research Flat Earth you will understand allot.

      PS: What do you think Barry about FE?

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